Stress Center Peer Support

For some reason I never REALIZED the negative obsessive thoughts I've had about OTHER people are bad for me. I thought I was speaking my mind! During this week when I tested out the day where you "try to be positive day". It went rather well too, I realized that my obsessive NEGATIVE thoughts about other people put me in a foul mood. It makes me NOT want to socialize. It sets me apart from other people as I judge them. It keeps me negative and anxious. So I practiced saying positive things about people instead of focusing on everything that is "wrong" and WOW WHAT difference that made. I'm just surprised that I didn't recognize all of my negative thoughts about others...and how I justified it....

Healthy_me,

I found that interesting too. I never realized that my negative feelings, thoughts and talk about other people / situations was effecting ME in a negative way. It does put me in a foul, grey mood. I felt like a scrooge!

There is a win/win to this. You feel good about yourself, you radiate that inner happiness outwardly to others and they in turn will be happy too. It is like spreading a happy germ, it is contagious! I have tried it, it does work! Glad you experience this too.

I've been thru the program before and I know I get caught in negative thoughts. But realizing this was really big for me! I thought it was only about thoughts about MYSELF. I noticed I would spend hours tearing others apart in my head. Not even realizing this was making me unhappy and uncomfortable around THOSE people. Of course I can't make friends with others when I spend so much time tearing them apart...and it makes me so down too. It is a very interesting find...- wow huh. Thank you for sharing its nice to know that I'm not the only one who judged others sooo harshly and I didn't even realize it...

So now I'm actually writing those thoughts down in my negative to positive notepad! I have hard time catching those thoughts...but now I realize why...I've been overlooking a lot of thoughts and classifying them as "ok" because they were not directed towards me...

What a great idea! I, too, have realized how judgmental I've been towards others. I think it stems from feeling bad about myself. The thought process is, "I'll judge them before they can judge me." It does keep me distanced from others. I like the idea about replacing the negative judgment with a positive one.

Hey everyone
what a revelation, I was listening to session 3, again since I 've never really done it, I mean writing those thoughts down, but I believe I have an equal amount of negative thoughts of others as myself, before I used to gossip, but I thought I long ago put that to rest, I see now I really never have put it to rest I just gossip to myself and tear my own world up. I foundmyself doing that the other day at my new place of employment, since I have begun to get to know people....so I will now take that thought down and replace it, I just still have troubles with all these others floating about in my head, each person could fill up at least two pages,and then I began to get angry over these stupid thoughts and that person is not around at all. I continue to go to court, try them and convict them all the time and I still don't feel justice. Help!!!!

thoughts down, but I believe I have an equal amount of negative thoughts of others as myself, before I used to gossip, but I thought I long ago put that to rest, I see now I really never have put it to rest I just gossip to myself and tear my own world up. I foundmyself doing that the other day at my new place of employment, since I have begun to get to know people....so I will now take that thought down and replace it, I just still have troubles with all these others floating about in my head, each person could fill up at least two pages,and then I began to get angry over

DebiW - I know! Whenever I'm upset its the first thing I do. I get very cynical about others, accuse them of lying and EVERYTHING else. I'm working on this and I WILL slowly change it. But wow huh, it's amazing to realize this bad habit is just as bad as calling myself all those bad names. It just keeps me angry and negative. Dwelling on the past....

Boy, have I been guilty of doing this!! Like you, before the program I felt justified in mentally bashing everyone else (besides myself) because I felt they "deserved" it... but really, I was just feeding my own general negativity. This also falls under the category of "unrealistic expections" because I expected people to be perfect, or at least be visibly trying. I was especially hard on people claiming to be Christians who acted anything but... in reality Christians are just as human and prone to mistakes as everyone else. Since doing the program, I have lowered my expectations of everyone around me and accepted them as they are, and as a result, I enjoy people (and myself) a whole lot more!

Jen

Today was a much better day at work concerning this topic, I started to do the writing down thing, I seem to have that image of an angel and devil on either shoulder, just having to choose which one to listen..(could it be that simple :rolleyes, my job is so cool ..I work at a childrens museum as an educator in various parts, but mostly teaching art. Today I heard one voice saying"what right do you have teaching kids when can't even teach your own, then the other saying, I am fortunate to have such a unique job that can teach me that special interaction! wow it was constant all day, I just began to focus on the positive and journal what I could, as for as people, I tried the positive spin and some quiet God bless them Lord prayers and just being thankful that I can grow through the reminder of who they are and what happened to cause me to be so irratated with them.... but the biggest test is with my own family, after battling the thoughts all day and trying to record them I came home to self-propelled frustration over what did'nt happen, my husband is playing soccer now and he took my boys, we had dinner together and some forgiveness took place, I just seem to judge him the hardest and Jee you are right I just seem to expect too much, but I need to get through negative self talk first, I,my husband,& my boys,and yes even the people that hurt me, should be thought of better, I was listening again to lesson three and Lucinda said it will begin to be so easy for you to recognize negative thoughts, I just not only want that but, I want to be great at replacing it with reality thinking.....Oh I agree Christians have problems, I know from experience and we have some big shoes to fill, I just say, He was tempted at every turn but he chose not to engage and I see now what that means, It is truly easier said than done,and it is important for me to show that struggle is real and that He is my help, and the biggest part of not being a hypocrit, is to admit that you are not Him What an eye opener(I'm just preachin' to the choir here! as they say in the south), My life is on display everyday, today there was a women who left her daughter at the childrens museum while she went next door to check into a hotel, and came back in shocked that her 7 yr. old daughter was not where she left her, she went onto alert us and we all went on an all out search, and I was lookin' at everyone like some kinda creepo! , but when I found out what really happened, boy court was in session, all of us had condemed that women, but before I picked up my stone, the weight of it, reminded of the times where I was frantic in wally-world trying to find my 6 year old after me trusting he'd be where I told him to stay, while I go pick-up one more thing, so I just put my stone down and told the lady and the child, I'm so glad you found eachother. And that my friends was a big triumph today for me, cause I know that would have been thought foder for days for me and I would of secured a better position in my mind over her...how sic! but I believe that I will have to keep tryin....before I can see more days like today! especilly with my own family...thanks for letting me ramble I love this forum it helps to know others are on the same journey...

Good for you. It's hard to be positive. I need to work on this more.

man i really agree with you on that one I seem to have a lot of negative thoughts about other people but am trying to stop!good luck