Re: Anyone here?
Posted: Mon Jun 25, 2018 4:44 pm
Hi Kucek,
I'd love to send you a big hug! My heart just goes out to you.
It's wonderful that you're here and reaching out for support. I'm glad you are giving the program another try.
This is my 3rd time, too. I also started 15 years ago! I think it's great so many people have responded under this thread already. I hope we all continue to share and help encourage each other along.
I hear how difficult and painful your situation is right now. I can relate to the feelings of isolation and hurtful comments from family members.
I also feel deep pain when my husband seems angry and frustrated with me, too. It's like, I can take everything else: the anxiety, the ongoing depression, the worry, illness, mean family members - but I can't bear it when I feel I've let my husband down, or rather, feel he's let ME down by adding to my hurt when I need his love the most.
I mentioned a book I'm reading under recommendations here in this forum. It's really helping me to see myself, my marriage, and my husband in a new and hopeful light.
Through it, I'm learning to tune into my own happiness and how to communicate my hurt feelings or fears to my husband that is respectful to us both. I swear, it's magic!
The skills in the book compliment this program beautifully. It was actually that book that helped me see I needed to return to this program for my own self care.
Self care is the first skill in the book. I'm not trying to get into trouble by promoting another program or book - I just know it's helping and already working mini miracles into my marriage, and I know how badly it hurts when you feel like your husband is angry and against you when you are already suffering.
Where are you in this program? I'm on my first day of Week 1.
In addition to this program, what do you think of coming up with a little list of ideas for your own self care? These are just for fun. Things that have no other purpose than to give you joy in the moment you're doing them?
I had anxiety just coming up with ideas when I first tried! And then I cried about it because nothing seemed like fun. Everything was a chore.
Then I learned that self care doesn't have to be "big" or healthy or productive. I had to get creative because I still didn't get it. So I thought small and came up with a list and I make sure I do at least 3 items a day. It really helps.
Some ideas could be wearing a favorite pair of pajamas to bed or watching a funny TV show. Maybe reading or watching birds outside the window - whatever makes you feel good in the moment and it's just for you.
This is a long reply. I've been thinking of you since I found your comments and I just wanted to reach out.
You're not alone and I can tell that you're husband is a good guy. He was there for you through the program in the past. I'm sure he cares and loves you still. What better thing can you do for the both of you but stick to this program, continue to seek support here, continue to pray for the best, and find little ways to make yourself feel happy throughout the day?
You can do this! We're all here for you and each other.
-Stephanie
I'd love to send you a big hug! My heart just goes out to you.
It's wonderful that you're here and reaching out for support. I'm glad you are giving the program another try.
This is my 3rd time, too. I also started 15 years ago! I think it's great so many people have responded under this thread already. I hope we all continue to share and help encourage each other along.
I hear how difficult and painful your situation is right now. I can relate to the feelings of isolation and hurtful comments from family members.
I also feel deep pain when my husband seems angry and frustrated with me, too. It's like, I can take everything else: the anxiety, the ongoing depression, the worry, illness, mean family members - but I can't bear it when I feel I've let my husband down, or rather, feel he's let ME down by adding to my hurt when I need his love the most.
I mentioned a book I'm reading under recommendations here in this forum. It's really helping me to see myself, my marriage, and my husband in a new and hopeful light.
Through it, I'm learning to tune into my own happiness and how to communicate my hurt feelings or fears to my husband that is respectful to us both. I swear, it's magic!
The skills in the book compliment this program beautifully. It was actually that book that helped me see I needed to return to this program for my own self care.
Self care is the first skill in the book. I'm not trying to get into trouble by promoting another program or book - I just know it's helping and already working mini miracles into my marriage, and I know how badly it hurts when you feel like your husband is angry and against you when you are already suffering.
Where are you in this program? I'm on my first day of Week 1.
In addition to this program, what do you think of coming up with a little list of ideas for your own self care? These are just for fun. Things that have no other purpose than to give you joy in the moment you're doing them?
I had anxiety just coming up with ideas when I first tried! And then I cried about it because nothing seemed like fun. Everything was a chore.
Then I learned that self care doesn't have to be "big" or healthy or productive. I had to get creative because I still didn't get it. So I thought small and came up with a list and I make sure I do at least 3 items a day. It really helps.
Some ideas could be wearing a favorite pair of pajamas to bed or watching a funny TV show. Maybe reading or watching birds outside the window - whatever makes you feel good in the moment and it's just for you.
This is a long reply. I've been thinking of you since I found your comments and I just wanted to reach out.
You're not alone and I can tell that you're husband is a good guy. He was there for you through the program in the past. I'm sure he cares and loves you still. What better thing can you do for the both of you but stick to this program, continue to seek support here, continue to pray for the best, and find little ways to make yourself feel happy throughout the day?
You can do this! We're all here for you and each other.
-Stephanie