Anyone here?

Learn how to comfort yourself, encourage yourself, and like yourself. This session is chock-full of POWERFUL tools for taking charge and changing your life for the better.
Stephanie972
Posts: 11
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:22 pm

Re: Anyone here?

Post by Stephanie972 » Mon Jun 25, 2018 4:44 pm

Hi Kucek,

I'd love to send you a big hug! My heart just goes out to you.

It's wonderful that you're here and reaching out for support. I'm glad you are giving the program another try.

This is my 3rd time, too. I also started 15 years ago! I think it's great so many people have responded under this thread already. I hope we all continue to share and help encourage each other along.

I hear how difficult and painful your situation is right now. I can relate to the feelings of isolation and hurtful comments from family members.

I also feel deep pain when my husband seems angry and frustrated with me, too. It's like, I can take everything else: the anxiety, the ongoing depression, the worry, illness, mean family members - but I can't bear it when I feel I've let my husband down, or rather, feel he's let ME down by adding to my hurt when I need his love the most.

I mentioned a book I'm reading under recommendations here in this forum. It's really helping me to see myself, my marriage, and my husband in a new and hopeful light.

Through it, I'm learning to tune into my own happiness and how to communicate my hurt feelings or fears to my husband that is respectful to us both. I swear, it's magic!

The skills in the book compliment this program beautifully. It was actually that book that helped me see I needed to return to this program for my own self care.

Self care is the first skill in the book. I'm not trying to get into trouble by promoting another program or book - I just know it's helping and already working mini miracles into my marriage, and I know how badly it hurts when you feel like your husband is angry and against you when you are already suffering.

Where are you in this program? I'm on my first day of Week 1.

In addition to this program, what do you think of coming up with a little list of ideas for your own self care? These are just for fun. Things that have no other purpose than to give you joy in the moment you're doing them?

I had anxiety just coming up with ideas when I first tried! And then I cried about it because nothing seemed like fun. Everything was a chore.

Then I learned that self care doesn't have to be "big" or healthy or productive. I had to get creative because I still didn't get it. So I thought small and came up with a list and I make sure I do at least 3 items a day. It really helps.

Some ideas could be wearing a favorite pair of pajamas to bed or watching a funny TV show. Maybe reading or watching birds outside the window - whatever makes you feel good in the moment and it's just for you.

This is a long reply. I've been thinking of you since I found your comments and I just wanted to reach out.

You're not alone and I can tell that you're husband is a good guy. He was there for you through the program in the past. I'm sure he cares and loves you still. What better thing can you do for the both of you but stick to this program, continue to seek support here, continue to pray for the best, and find little ways to make yourself feel happy throughout the day?

You can do this! We're all here for you and each other.

-Stephanie

Truthworldwide
Posts: 16
Joined: Sun Jun 03, 2018 9:24 pm
Location: NY's Beautiful Finger Lakes

Re: Anyone here?

Post by Truthworldwide » Tue Jun 26, 2018 11:22 am

I think that's a great way to approach it. Once you see that self-care and assertiveness can be fun, and not work, it begins to turn the corner for you. Now you're looking forward to areas where you can practice internal dialogue and standing up for yourself.

I'm in the dating world and by meeting strangers out and about, I build my self-esteem. The more I meet people, the better I feel internally. I don't *need* these people or their input - I just am finding that my interactions with them are reinforcing the notion that I am a person worthy of love, respect, and trust.

I too believe that your husband is a good man, but frustrated. Get him involved as much as you can, make it enjoyable.
-Tom

Activate interlock.
Dynotherms connected, infracells up, megathrusters are go!

Form feet and legs.
Form arms and torso, and

I'll form - the head.

Kucek
Posts: 31
Joined: Sun Oct 09, 2005 10:12 pm

Re: computer problems..I'm sorry

Post by Kucek » Thu Jun 28, 2018 9:21 pm

Thank you so very much for your replies! I wanted to apologize for it being a few days before I could write back. Our Wi-Fi is very sketchy in our area...and a lot of thunderstorms.....I could not get Online to post.....frustrating. so if you post me and it takes a day or two, please dont get worried or think I'm not writing back...its tech computer problems....plus I have a small kindle. I love to hear from the members.

You gave me very good advice, stephanie and Truth....I thank you. Its been hard but I am trying my best to go forward.. Being so isolated and alone does not help, but I try to distract. I have to overcome the thoughts of "there is SO much wrong with me and too old too recover" I know thats negative....With the chronic pain and being on a walker, vocal cord polyp, depression, anxiety, overweight, panic etc.... It just feels like so much is wrong with me....I'm mad at myself because I started smoking again, only 3 cigarettes a day, but still not healthy, I know I do it to calm my nerves, but then worry about lung cancer or COPD....Its not worth it so Im going to stop again soon.

I pray nightly for even "partial" healing....just too function.....and missing six teeth is like the cherry on the cake! I look so very very bad and sick. I have called every dentist in my county for weeks...the hard painful part is over...all I need is for a mobile dentist to come too my home and do an impression or digital x-ray and then send to dental lab? Its like an impossible task! If anyone knows about dental, is it possible to do an x-ray then have my housecall Doc send via computer too dental lab?? That would be so less stressful. My Doc and Aunt and the one friend I have left seems too think getting my partial dentures will make me feel better about my self, and I agree, The one that extracted really betrayed me, overcharged me, never followed up then left town, my husband was so furious...he dreads another dentist, but I cannot live without my front teeth? Its hurting and tender and looks terrible. I am praying too GOD to lead me to an honest, decent, professional, dentist who won't traumatize me. Unfortunately I have learned the hard way when you are sick certain people use it to their advantage. I could never do that too someone. Its very cruel.

Thank you for listening. I'm going to try to post later under different forum. Thank you for writing to me and your support, advice and prayers. Grateful. Kucek.

NanaBJM
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Aug 27, 2012 2:39 pm

Re: Anyone here?

Post by NanaBJM » Sat Sep 29, 2018 3:15 pm

I am checking in daily . Not much support here . I am determined to conquer this set back. Wish more oeople were posting here . I guess Facebook has a monopoly over support groups now . Hope to hear from someone

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