Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part3
Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2013 11:34 pm
I realized something also while thinking about this lesson, it was an insight actually...as anxiety/depression sufferers we often confide in others in order to feel better and one of the things I was afraid of with all the other run throughs of the program is that If I can make myself feel better then I wouldn't get that attention from others...I wouldn't get that support and caring but really I'm not actually getting that right now from others but if I can learn to give that to myself then I can get that soothing and comforting feeling at any time I want!!! Plus I may actually get support and comfort from others from time to time as well and it won't feel empty the way it does at times.....So that fear that I'd have to give up on that from others, I'd actually get it from myself and from others and it feel really good! I'm definately excited about that!! Its kind of like with this song but instead of it being directed towards another person, we direct it towards ourselves; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKC8-Uwv17M
Also I was reading the lesson 3 section of the book and it mentioned about exposing yourself to failure and I have 2 of my own examples and the responses I had feared I'd get and the responses I actually got.
I was doing karaoke and I was soooooo nervous that i'd mess up in the middle of the song and it was the first time I was singing in this one bar and so I got up there and I had picked a song that I had practiced alot at home....I think the version I was singing at the bar was different and I actually had some anxiety thoughts while I was up there and I got so flustered that I actually froze midway through the song....I was terrified that people would criticize me but nobody said a single thing about it, most didn't even seem to notice but when I finished, everybody clapped for me and I even got some comments about how good I did.
Another time (and this is kind of funny), I had spilled wine on a library book and I took it in and I felt bad and wanted to take responsibility and so I talked to the person in charge at the library and I was so afraid that I'd say the wrong thing or wouldn't be able to vocalize the thoughts that were in my head....so I told her that I spilled wine on the book and I ment to say that I didn't do it on purpose and instead what came out was "I did it on purpose" and immediately I said no thats not what I ment! it was funny though because that was the last thing I wanted to say. anyways, I appologized and she was actually really understandable and we dealt with the situation in a way that worked out best for both of us.
I decided to start doing the thought replacement and I wrote out 8 negative thoughts and replaced them and I definately feel better....I remember when Carolyn Dickman was on the forums and she had suggested to do 5 a day as a suggestion in order to build up the skill and have some kind of consistency without going too far and spending your whole waking hours trying to replace thoughts (I've tried that by the way and I don't recommend it!)
So here are 2 thought replacements and I'm thinking I may keep posting these on a regular basis to help others figure out how to make their own statements.
1)I can't change the way I think, its just too hard.
Cognitive distortion; Magnification
->It seems really hard and it might be a struggle from time to time but I don't have to do it
all at once, I just need to practice a bit everyday and with time I'll get better and better at it
just like any other skill.
2) What-if I get better and then I get into situatinos where alot more responsibility and
stress is put on me and I can't handle it?
Cognitive Distortion; Fortune telling
I get to choose what I do and as I continue to grow, I'll be more able to tolerate stress and
I'll be more clear minded and better able to solve problems that come my way and more open to solutions and also most situations in life are not as serious as they might seem to be. The more
positive I become, the more likely I am to succeed and even if I don't succeed, I'll still be ok and
other opportunities will open up for me.
Mike
Also I was reading the lesson 3 section of the book and it mentioned about exposing yourself to failure and I have 2 of my own examples and the responses I had feared I'd get and the responses I actually got.
I was doing karaoke and I was soooooo nervous that i'd mess up in the middle of the song and it was the first time I was singing in this one bar and so I got up there and I had picked a song that I had practiced alot at home....I think the version I was singing at the bar was different and I actually had some anxiety thoughts while I was up there and I got so flustered that I actually froze midway through the song....I was terrified that people would criticize me but nobody said a single thing about it, most didn't even seem to notice but when I finished, everybody clapped for me and I even got some comments about how good I did.
Another time (and this is kind of funny), I had spilled wine on a library book and I took it in and I felt bad and wanted to take responsibility and so I talked to the person in charge at the library and I was so afraid that I'd say the wrong thing or wouldn't be able to vocalize the thoughts that were in my head....so I told her that I spilled wine on the book and I ment to say that I didn't do it on purpose and instead what came out was "I did it on purpose" and immediately I said no thats not what I ment! it was funny though because that was the last thing I wanted to say. anyways, I appologized and she was actually really understandable and we dealt with the situation in a way that worked out best for both of us.
I decided to start doing the thought replacement and I wrote out 8 negative thoughts and replaced them and I definately feel better....I remember when Carolyn Dickman was on the forums and she had suggested to do 5 a day as a suggestion in order to build up the skill and have some kind of consistency without going too far and spending your whole waking hours trying to replace thoughts (I've tried that by the way and I don't recommend it!)
So here are 2 thought replacements and I'm thinking I may keep posting these on a regular basis to help others figure out how to make their own statements.
1)I can't change the way I think, its just too hard.
Cognitive distortion; Magnification
->It seems really hard and it might be a struggle from time to time but I don't have to do it
all at once, I just need to practice a bit everyday and with time I'll get better and better at it
just like any other skill.
2) What-if I get better and then I get into situatinos where alot more responsibility and
stress is put on me and I can't handle it?
Cognitive Distortion; Fortune telling
I get to choose what I do and as I continue to grow, I'll be more able to tolerate stress and
I'll be more clear minded and better able to solve problems that come my way and more open to solutions and also most situations in life are not as serious as they might seem to be. The more
positive I become, the more likely I am to succeed and even if I don't succeed, I'll still be ok and
other opportunities will open up for me.
Mike