Empowering Group Program Run-through part3

Learn how to comfort yourself, encourage yourself, and like yourself. This session is chock-full of POWERFUL tools for taking charge and changing your life for the better.
Ninjafrodo2
Posts: 234
Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part3

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Sat Nov 16, 2013 11:52 pm

MapleLane;
I find it very interesting as to when I showed up in your journey, it seems like it happened at the perfect time, I love when that stuff happens! I've noticed in my own life as well as some of the people I've recently met (and now in this situation), that when people see the problem and then they desire to overcome it or desire some answers, then the universe, god or whatever you want to call it sends the people or resources needed to fulfill those desires, its really cool!

I didn't know I had such a big impact on you, it is amazing to hear this and I really like that quote by the way, that is really cute!

I also like how passionate you are with your writing and how you are adding to the group, I especially liked the part where you talked about not overthinking your progress and giving yourself permission not to stress out that you are not thinking those thoughts! This is really powerful for myself especially with the thoughts about how I should be doing this or that more...its just about doing and that is exactly what is going on...I just do and I let the rest of it work itself out! And I know that if I focus on what I'm not doing then it can become a trap because it can cause me to not do more of what I "should" be doing. I'm glad you mentioned that!

As for the ticmark exercise, thank you! It has always been such a great exercise and yeah it really does take a day to do that in order to fully appreciate the exercise...although that is much different then sitting and actually writing through each and every one of those 155 thoughts and replacing them all!

I'd say that yeah writing through your most common and most surprising is likely your best bet, thats a really good call! The more you do the thought replacement, the deep you seem to be able to get and the more you untangle the negative beliefs and replace them with more positive ones until it becomes second nature. It shows that you've been making alot of progress and I can see it through your responses especially the ones to forever and THH. Do you feel proud of yourself with how far you've come in this last 1.5 years?


Mike

THH
Posts: 860
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 10:53 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part3

Post by THH » Sun Nov 17, 2013 3:51 pm

Wow lots to read this time!
Maplelane,
"You can't stop the birds from flying overhead but you can keep them from nesting in your hair."
Loved it! LOL... Sounds like something my grandma would of said. Its true. She used to say everyone gets depressed, but you don't have to hang up curtains and plan on staying there.
Doing is important.
Boy, I liked a lot of the things Maplelane spoke of. You do have a very nice way of writing. And you have good energy that you are putting into helping yourself. I am also happy that you are trying to fix some of these thoughts at an early age. I don't know where I or my friends were when we were in our 20
s & 30's! It sure would of helped if I was more aware of things back then.
regardless we are all on our journeys and it sure is nice to be in good company! I share some similar story's with Mike.( Ninja) He was great at showing me how to do my homework, and gave great examples that I could relate to more things this program teaches.

I agree of the doing as well. It is often times not doing is what happens to me. I get lazy and not motivated.

Yes that was exactly what I was saying with my neighbor. Yes thankfully we are different, and I do believe people come into our lives for reasons. We help as well as receive. If I was married to her husband, oh my! LOL...
Also that was a good thought about taking care of myself and focusing on that rather than my final hours! LOL... Funny but true! I had to laugh :) I do have to be careful too because I can fall into that pattern real easy with eating junk, ( just today ) or not going for my walk ( its raining, cold ect.) But I do put an effort in to my wellness.

Mike,
I know I am resisting! I hate it.

I'm glad you have a couple people who are there for you. Even if they don't understand completely, and you may value them for certain strong points they can help you. You are stronger at other things and they can learn from you. That is how I feel about my neighbor.

I also liked what maplelane said about talking to ourselves like a kid. I woke up today thinking about my scary thoughts, going to the doctor and what I went though at the dentist, and ask myself "Are you done yet?" Am I going to keep this up all day, or forget about it. I struggled with it for 1/2 hour and moved on. It could of ruined my whole day. But I did move on and even though I am a little anxious about going to the doctor, I want to go. I also know that making up things that are not fact base is not going to help myself feel any better. So I did pretty good today.
I kept doing...

Forever young,
Where are you???? I miss you.... Hope your weekend was fun and you are busy :)

THH
Posts: 860
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 10:53 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part3

Post by THH » Sun Nov 17, 2013 4:08 pm

Maplelane,
I also liked your thinking on balance.
As I went I found there was another balance needing to be struck.
It was important to think about how things were going and what I could improve on. But if I went too far into analyzing my progress I could suck myself into the trap of over-thinking it. And that can reintroduce a lot of pressure and discouragement. It can suck the energy and even fun out of the process.
I too can become over thinking too much. Like there is a "RIGHT" answer and if I think about it long enough, look at all the angles, I will be able to do the right thing! LOL... Never has happened!
Most of my best thinking has come out of no where, being patient and waiting for the answer to come to me, rather than me hunting it down. Or as you said how things were going & what you could improve on. This is helpful to me...Thanks~
Good points.

Ninjafrodo2
Posts: 234
Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part3

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Sun Nov 17, 2013 7:22 pm

I'm still plugging away at the program and still using the relaxation cd and i'm starting to see another pattern. I think one thing that happens when I get anxious and feel stuck in a situation with another person, I find that I have alot of judgemental thoughts about them and it becomes obsessive as a way to distract myself. Has anybody else experienced this?

By the way i'm so glad that I've had such a positive effect on other people, It makes me feel really good to read that when you guys mentioned me helping you out. Thank you.

THH;
MapleLane is doing pretty good and actually I recommened one of David D Burns's books and she has been doing the CBT based on that but has never gone through the program before...she has alot of experience replacing thoughts now and its really cool to see!

I think there is resistance on all sides there, I know I am majorly resisting it but thats just what happens when you quit any kind of habit! I'm thinking its the secondary gains that are kicking in...we're trying to keep up the old way of living and reacting because there is apart of us that is afraid that if we give that up then we won't be able to get those same positives that we are getting by having it! What do you think?

Yay for keeping going!

Oh and yeah i'm with you there with the "Right" answer kind of thinking...another habit to break huh?

Ninjafrodo2
Posts: 234
Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part3

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Mon Nov 18, 2013 1:03 am


forever young 06
Posts: 284
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:19 pm

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part3

Post by forever young 06 » Mon Nov 18, 2013 7:40 am

hi all I have sort of taken a break. the weekends are time I spend with my daughter and her little ones. I also had a headache for 2 days so spent some time in bed.

THH, I am here now. I want to say I have the heart palps a lot. I think they are due to stress and anxiety because mine are worse when I am having more trouble. I think you will fine that yours will get better as you get over your stressful bump in the road. I seriously don't think there is a thing wrong with you. we just focus on our aches and pains and like Lucinda says oh is it a brain tumor when we have a headache. I know I am trying to down play my symptoms too.

maple, I am glad to see you on here and enjoyed reading what you had to say. I also felt better about my "spells" when you said you have had them without anxiety first. I think our symptoms can change. I have been feeling short of breath. I am working more on the breathing excerisces I can't spell. also mindfulness and awareness. I have a lot to learn about myself as I have been suppressing my feelings.

Mike, you have been so helpful and I think we do have a lot in come. I am really enjoying this as we can express how we feel and you guys can see something that I don't see.

I have did the relaxing cd now I need to listen to the new lesson so I will talk to you on the new lesson section. keep up the good work all and I am going to start in a minute. But I need to call the new state health insurance web site I am running out of time to get my husband insurance by Jan the first. wish me luck. more stress but I am going to try to not be affected so much. I a going to move forward. I can do this positive self talk all day today.

Ninjafrodo2
Posts: 234
Joined: Sat Oct 19, 2013 11:05 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part3

Post by Ninjafrodo2 » Mon Nov 18, 2013 12:43 pm

foreveryoung;
Ah there you are, I was wondering what was going on with you. If you have to take a break then thats what you have to do. I think it was Martain Luther King Jr that said, If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl but have you to keep moving forward and thats what you're doing. Again this is not easy stuff to deal with, we are all also moving at different speeds because our journeys (although somewhat similar), are different. And in my opinion it is the relaxation and awareness stuff that is the most important aspect of the program and it sounds like that is what you are doing so yes you are definately still moving forward! The rest of this stuff is just secondary and you can always go back to it later on.

I also saw what you wrote MapleLane and yeah it seems like you are getting some insight, especially with how you've suppressed your emotions...I believe you are doing exactly what is right for you at this moment, so keep up the good work!


Mike

THH
Posts: 860
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 10:53 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part3

Post by THH » Mon Nov 18, 2013 5:07 pm

I am finally home. Yey...
No really big news, depending on how you look at it. ANXIETY - STRESS
My heart is good, it is normal for some peoples heart to skip a beat, BP good. Good news is I AM HEALTHY. Bad news I have not been managing my anxiety. Doc says it is anticipation anxiety, with all the dental crap, and doctor stuff, and obsessive compulsive thinking about it. I talked about the program and he said it worked because I worked it. I have gone back to my old thinking and that is ok, there are meds. for it but I have to use the Xanax not a lick or a chip off one. He felt I know my triggers well, he said many people don't. It is not going to get worse than this, it is as bad as it is going to get. I told him I am doing the CBT again, and that will help, but like he said when your wired that way that is just how God made you. Keep working on things but know that it is okay to take pills too. SO all in all, it was a good visit.
I know we all have probably gotten the same speech at one time or another. He also suggested some great thought replacement and I enjoyed his answers.
I did work my 6 steps with breathing on my way there. I was of coarse worried I would have to have a heart cath, and get sent to a cardio doc. I also thought about Maplelane saying that my chances of being healthy are better than my final hours. That made me smile.:)
I have had a feeling of anxiety for several months now, and that has prompted me to do this program over again. It did help me before. I may have not been entirely "over" being a anxious person but It did not interfere with my life as much. So can't wait for some of these up and coming sessions!

THH
Posts: 860
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 10:53 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part3

Post by THH » Mon Nov 18, 2013 6:10 pm

Forever young,
Glad you posted. Thank you for your kind understanding. I was worried, I know you understand. I'm glad you took a break - it is very stressful when thinking about all this plus living your life. I get overwhelmed too.
One day at a time, and we will learn how to handle these darn fears!
Yes you have a head ache, many people get them, just take something an lay down and rest. It will go away and you will feel better. I know the thoughts that could follow...I have a head ache! LOL...

Good luck with the insurance!!! Once you actually get enrolled you will feel much better. I guess on with the next lesson.

THH
Posts: 860
Joined: Mon May 10, 2010 10:53 am

Re: Empowering Group Program Run-through part3

Post by THH » Mon Nov 18, 2013 6:28 pm

Mike:
For me, with the judgmental thoughts are this way. The way I can relate is this way: I have a habit of telling a few close family members things that bother me from time to time. Rather than keeping my thoughts to myself I feel confident to share. When at times it seams to go smoothly and encouraging, other times don't go so well. They talk down to me, or at least I feel that way. If they are not talking down to me they are acting like my problems or worries are nothing and they have all the problems. It is hard for me as I feel I should of never confide with them in the first place.
My idea is to be strong in myself and be very selective as to what I share. Sometimes I think we ( anxiety people) need people to help us and make us feel secure. There are a few in my life that will, but most would not. We are learning how to feel secure in ourselves.

Oh your welcome too, you have helped me for sure!

Oh Maplelane is doing great with this/ it is exciting!

I agree to on getting used to this thought replacement. It is clumsy and awkward. I start thinking something and catch the bad thought and struggle with replacement. At times I actually come up with something. The trouble is there is so much of it! ( negative thoughts )LOL.. It will get better...:)

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