my thoughts mess with me

[pookie4]

I have been having these thoughts for a year now...and its so annoying i just want my mind to shut up already!! For the longest time i had a fear of hurting my girls so i thought i should go to like a hotel and dead boldt myself inside ( i never did) so now that thought comes and goes. I find if i get frustrated with my kids and start yelling if that means im on the edgfe of losing it. Orif i stop worrying about these thoughts so much if that means im starting to like these thoughts and then my anxiety starts up...i have recently started going to church once in awhile but now im wondering if i shouldnt because i get anxious thoughts about evil...and then that leads me into thinking i will start thinking these thoughts are real and wont be able to control my self and go psyco. Its really annoying to have these thoughts and then have to think about whether i really think these things are real or true any insight would be helpful because i am fed up and frustrated thank you