Hi all,
Here I am at week 3. The self talk week. I read last week the book "What to say when you talk to yourself" and also "You cant afford the luxury of a negative thought." I am a very negative person, it has been so infused in me I don't think I would know a postive statement if it did come from myself so I know this is going to be a struggle and a half for me. I also know that there are a lot of you in this program that feel the same way so I wont vent on all the same things that I am sure you all have experienced.
I found someone who is going to help me convert my negative into positive. She is my minister's wife and she is also a school pschiatrist and was thrilled to hear me say this is what I need to work on.
I was at a bible study last night and there was a lady there who has been drug thru the gutters of life pretty good and she was talking about herself and how she just accepts this darkness she is in because the God has not removed it so he must not want her out of it. And she proceeded to say I was in the same boat. I should have said something then but thought best to call her on about it today because that is not how I feel about this darkness.
I look at it like Job, he had everything, everything a man could want, but God allowed Satan to cause havoc in this mans life as a test, and Job passed that test and was rewarded greatly. That is all this is for me too, granted I have been tested for 35 years or better now, but it is just a test, Satan is playing hardball but I know God is up there cheering for me to succeed. He wants us to be joyful, not miserable. Satan knew that all the negative programming I had in me I would never pass the test but you know what, he is wrong, dead wrong. I still have fight in me and I will turn this around. I have to come to the battle prepared, and between God and this program that is what is taking place. I can't just accept it.
About this past week, very very tearful, tearful to the point my eyes feel very dry, isnt that absurd, to have dry eyes from crying too much. Anyway, decided maybe I should restart paxil until I get over the crest of this mountian of healing, I consider the crest to be the full exposure to what is going on with the depression, exposing all the ugliness about it and then healing it, once we begin the snowball affect of healing and am secure in positive thinking I will ask the doc to wean me off of it again.
Week 3: Think I am making progress
Re: Week 3: Think I am making progress
Congratulations on taking a step forward and asking someone to help you along. We all need help now and then. You CAN do it! I believe that sometimes bad things happen in our lives for a purpose. We often don't see that purpose until we get to the other side. Sometimes God may lead us out of it, but I also believe that God doesn't want us to just sit around waiting. It's also up to us, with God's help, to work on making ourselves better. God didn't make us puppets that he alone controls, he gave us the freedom to choose!
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Iwillbebetter
- Posts: 484
- Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
- Location: Minnesota
Re: Week 3: Think I am making progress
Yes good for you in getting assistance with your negative thinking!! That is deffinately a HARD one!! 
I still work at that... I'm sure I will always have to keep in the back of my mind to be careful of the negativity!! And if you feel the meds would be helpful at this time, there is no reason not!! You can go off them when you feel ready, when you feel you have gained the skills you need to get along without!!
I still work at that... I'm sure I will always have to keep in the back of my mind to be careful of the negativity!! And if you feel the meds would be helpful at this time, there is no reason not!! You can go off them when you feel ready, when you feel you have gained the skills you need to get along without!! "Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."
Re: Week 3: Think I am making progress
How do you find the negative thoughts that you are having? Where do you begin? I'm at a lose, can you give me some motivation? Thanks
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Iwillbebetter
- Posts: 484
- Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:35 am
- Location: Minnesota
Re: Week 3: Think I am making progress
Dieball, I had so much trouble with that session. I also didn't really realize how to know what was a negative thought. Then I finally heard it, although I listened to the session many times already, I just hadn't heard it before, anytime you have a thought that makes you feel, sad, jealous, envious, mad, or in anyway bad, that is a negative thought!! Although I have trouble distingquishing my feelings also, I can tell the difference between a good feeling and a bad feeling, and just about anytime you are feeling for any reason bad, you can link it to what you were thinking!!
Hope that helps/makes sense!
Hope that helps/makes sense!
"Only rainbows after rain, the sun will always come again, and it's a cirlce, circling around again it comes around again...."
Re: Week 3: Think I am making progress
I also have trouble seperating what is a negative thought from what I REALLY believe is reality - which is usually my negative reality. If I have something happen and I start thinking on it or going back to it, I have to stop myself and ask myself "am I being negative about this?" "Is this REALLY true?" If I keep blaming myself for it, or putting myself down for it, I stop and say is ALL of that really true? If this was a loved one that it happened to, what would I think or say? That has helped me some and it goes from there. Then when you catch yourself telling yourself, "that was stupid", "can't you do anything right?", etc. Stop then and start questioning it and try to replace it with something positive.