This is too hard..

1254smit · Post by **1254smit** » Wed Mar 14, 2012 8:42 pm

Being positive is super hard doing the panicing experience.. ): I'll panic if something on tv is sad, scary, or actionlike.I used to love scary movies, now i don't want to go see one ever again! I can not seem to grasp on to this positive thing.. Like i know i could practice, but when i start to panic i don't know what to say to myself! ): Does anyone know what i'm talking about? It's super confusing, because i'll feel better during the day and be like this is awesome, then night time comes and bam i'm scared! ):

Iwillbebetter · Post by **Iwillbebetter** » Thu Mar 15, 2012 8:05 am

I am on session 8 and still struggle with the positive talk. I think that is one of the hardest ones for me to grasp. Although I have gotten better. The "key" for me was finally having that light bulb moment in realizing we are not our thoughts. But our thoughts do "make" our feelings. I dont remember what I was reading, but in a book I had read they were talking about how your thoughts create your feelings. They said you don't beleive, give it a try..... try being mad, without first having a mad thought, try being sad without having a sad thought... try being happy without having a happy thought etc... Of course I had to put it to the test first, but what do you know, you do need the thought before the feeling can come. Although I dont' always know what to say, sometimes I still have to just stop the negatvie thought and sing to myself happy happy joy joy until it is gone. (This is how I started in session 3 I could not "replace" any of the negative thoughts, so i started just by seeing and stopping them. When they came I would have a simple happy song or phrase I would sing to myself over and over until the negative thought was gone. Since then I have started working on replacing them but sometimes that can be easier than others. It seems weird at first, as it can be hard to beleive the things you tell yourself sometimes, but the more you do it, the more you practice it the more normal you feel and the more real you words seem to you

1254smit · Post by **1254smit** » Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:04 pm

It's like i try to do the positive thing i do try i'll tell you that! haha, but i can think positive all day, but like my arm falls asleep for example i'll start to panic and forget how to think positive because i can't think! it's like my mind is under someone else's control! haha! FREAKY! I have recently withdrawn from my medication. In november when i turned 18, andd i did it cold turkey no doctors supervision, because i got to thinking/researcher, i need to get off meds! well now i am, and it's a living hell. i can't even do daily activites without freaking, but i have to give my self credit, i got to the point where no one will know if anything is wrong.. I freak out in side, and then continue on what i am doing instead of freaking out on everyone! i actually am proud of myself.. i'm just stuck at night. i really don't like to go to sleep sometimes because i panic, i've been losing weight like crazy, i'm like a gross skinny now. Man, this stuff is so bad, i hate it! I'm glad i have people out there like you who are willing to talk to me.. like it makes me feel so UNALONE! I hate dealing with this by self, because my boyfriend doesn't understand but says he does! HA! But thanks for the advice i'll give it a try! maybe it can help me too!

bluemtnbob · Post by **bluemtnbob** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 10:01 am

I just started session three. I quickly realized that I have a significant problem with negative self talk. I do it all the time. I call myself a loser or stupid, or I beat myself up for not being handy around the house. We need to replace a bathroom door in our home. The first words out of my mouth were something like, "I don't think we will be able to do this on our own." My wife caught me on it. I don't seem to have the mental discipline to control my negative thoughts. I don't think singing happy songs in my head will work for me. There I go again with my negative thinking. I will try it. Night time is not more difficult for me than daytime. Are you having trouble sleeping at night?

1254smit · Post by **1254smit** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 5:33 pm

Sometimes i have trouble sleeping. it's more like right after school i come home and i get that spacy feeling ): all nigggght long until i go to sleep which is like 1 in the morning everrrryy night! ):

Iwillbebetter · Post by **Iwillbebetter** » Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:26 pm

I cant think positive all day either... (I love the way you put that) I found for me at least - in the beginning it was not so much about being positive but just to stop the negative!!

Maybe it won't be as hard for you if you look at it in that way. Once you have gotten good at that, then you can work on changing the negatives, when they do come, to positives!! Keep at it and you can do it!! I didn't think I could once upon a time either, and while I have by no means perfected it, I am happy with the accomplishments I have made, and will keep working at it

Yes this site deffinately lets you know you are not alone!! My boyfriends tries to "understand" also, but I don't think he really does/can!!

Bluemntbob - happy songs might not work for you and that's fine, but I'm sure you can find something that does!!

I can so relate to what you said, I have gotten better, but I don't know how many times I have made remarks of how stupid I am, or how I am always messing things up... etc... I had a wake up call when I heard my oldest son (11 yrs old) make a remark under his breath about how he never does anything right.... word for word what I have said of myself many many times!! That was what made me realize I had to change it!! With how negative I was, I couldn't do anything but remove the negative thoughts, and the only way I could think to do that was "happy songs"... maybe just a phrase would work for you - like "go away" or "I am not my thoughts"

I hope you are both able to figure it out!! I think it's probably one of the most important sessions!!

LyndaLu · Post by **LyndaLu** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 6:43 pm

This is one of the most important Sessions in the program.
Here is something from the carry along card.
Self-Talk: Key To Healthy Self Esteem

I can choose the thoughts I entertain.
I know positive thoughts produce positive feelings.
I will look for the good.
Negative thinking is a bad habit that I can break.
I am a great problem solver.
I am worthy of inner peace.
I am alive and participating in my day.
I am action oriented.
I am proud of my accomplishments.

1254smit · Post by **1254smit** » Sun Mar 18, 2012 10:55 pm

Alright thankss. i just can't seem to do the "Self talk?" it's like hard to make positvie, when my mind goes fuzzy when i'm in a paniic. ):

Iwillbebetter · Post by **Iwillbebetter** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:07 pm

smit - it is hard at first, we are so use to all the negative talk we feed ourselves to just change that is not easy. Don't try so hard, don't go to to much of an extreme either, but she even says if it feels weird at first that's ok. You might not even believe it right away, but if you keep doing it eventually you will. Just as you have learned to beleive all the false negative things you tell yourself. Try to keep in mind to only tell yourself the truth.

1254smit · Post by **1254smit** » Mon Mar 19, 2012 11:16 pm

Iwillbebetter-- i have a question.. what do you know about withdrawal? i withdrew from my medication in november 2011.. and i've been panicing all evening ):

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