How about my negative self talk about others around me?

[YogaYoga]

I have gotten pretty good with interrupting self judgements and dialogue with myself quiet nicely. And now I realized that I almost constantly are tell myself that everyone else is an idiot, to slow, dumb, manipulator, victim and the list goes on and on and on. Would you have any good mind interrupts or re-languaging of these thoughts. Thanks.

[Iwillbebetter]

I have recently noticed I can do this more often than I would like also!! I try to remember that I am me and they are them. I can not control them, only me, there for it does not matter what they are - only how I will re-act.

[YogaYoga]

Thanks, Ya good point and I do get it that people are just mirrors for me... I guess they call it projection and I really get that intellectually however my outward just are so darn persistent that I feel obsessed with finding fault in others the way I found serious faults in myself... I used to be obsessed with that side of the coin...

Has this blog quieted down or is it just me. I used to belong 3 years ago and whamo... I'd get like 5 responses in 1 day.

[Iwillbebetter]

I know what you mean, I think just being persistent with it. If I recall she even describes is as a bad habit we are addicted to. Bad habit and or addiction tell me that a lot of work has to be done to remove this from ourselves! But I beleive it can be done, if you really want it persistence and patience! Don't be to hard on yourself, your not going to be able to decide you don't want to do it anymore and then just stop. It's going to take time and practice!! I beleive you can do it though!

I think it has slowed down, I've seen others post things similar to that. I actually kind of struggled with the "lack of responses" when first coming to the site, then decided it doesn't matter, it's OKAY

[YogaYoga]

Well thanks for saying that... this support group has been down for me for well over a week. In the mean time I did find a nice article from Martha Beck that suggests that I write down my our judgement about other and then rewrite it with changing the name to me. The articles name is Projection: What You Spot is What You’ve Got and it's on martha beck dot com.

Yes I get it patience and persistence is a very good reminder.

[Iwillbebetter]

Yes it was down for everyone Glad it is back up and running. I guess they were changing servers or something. I'm glad you were able to find something to help! That sounds like a good idea!

* I know I have to constantly remind myself of the patience and persistent thing, I always want things now, it can be hard to remember sometimes that it takes time....

[LyndaLu]

It is almost impossible for me to have positive self talk while being around my mother.
Why are close relatives the hardest ones to deal with when having this problem !
I guess I keep expecting her to change her ways and she never will, I have to change the way
I react to the way she is. Not Easy ! Lynda

[Iwillbebetter]

Lynda, I know what you mean, I am like that with my sister. Since going threw the program I'm starting to see just how negative she really is. But I think that is part of it - we have to remember that we can't change them, we have to change ourselves and how we deal/react to them!! Maybe repeat that to yourself in your head when you are with her, I can't not change her, only me..... I agree it is deffinatly not easy... another one of those practice patience things... but it will be worth it in the end!!

[LyndaLu]

Dear iwill: Thank you for the reply. I just wish that my mother would show some emotion
sometimes. I never see her laugh or cry. I cry and she wonders why I do. I am a human being
and I have emotions. She doesn't understand it at all when I cry in front of her. I used to think
she was being insensitive, but now I guess I just feel sorry for her that she cannot feel or show
her emotions. She must have SOME emotions. How can she keep everything all bottled up inside
of her for so long. My sister doesn't cry in front of people either. I guess I am more sensitive to
the world around me than they are, especially after having problems with anxiety and depression.
My family still thinks in black and white and I don't think that way any longer. Lynda.

[Iwillbebetter]

Lynda, I agree, we all have emotions and should be able to show them at times. Maybe she was raised to learn that emotions are not something to be shared with others. If she was taught that at a very young age especially she would think that to be "normal" as that's how it's always been. I dont' know if that's the case but just a thought!!