I was doing so well - now I need help!

[LMH2011]

Hi Everyone! I'm new here and I am on Session 3. I was doing really well with the program until this session. The part of the tape where Jan talks about stress causing her to have a heart attack has thrown me right back to the beginning of where I was with panic and anxiety. This is my biggest fear - I worry about worry so much that I have a heart attack! I already ended up in the hospital 3 years ago with a massive panic attack and the doctor told me that if I didn't knock it off, I would have a heart attack! I'm only 32 years old - I was 29 at the time. I've had to deal with that negative thought in my mind all of these years and finally got to the point where I was convincing myself that the doctor was crazy and that wouldn't happen to me because I am healthy. But now hearing about Jan's experience has brought out everything that I fear. How am I supposed to deal with this? I don't know what to do!! I've just taken 10 steps forward and 20 back! Please help!

[Doodlebug082492]

I've been through this program before... Not all the way through it, but I got to session 10.. And then things started going downhill from that session.. I have an extreme phobia of vomiting... I am 19 years old and I have suffered with anxiety and this phobia since I was 4 years old... I have given up so many fun things and opportunities because of this fear... But all I can say is make sure you are faithfully participating in the sessions, because the farther I got into the sessions I felt like I was getting better from it and then I sorta felt like I didn't need to do the relaxation session, and I think that's why i fell back on my butt with all this stuff again...
~Doodle

[stevenb33]

i have the exact same fear that i am going to die from something quick and sudden like a heart attack and this thought makes me anxious. i too heard jan speak of her stress related heart attack ad became worried that the same may happen to me. You have to tell yourself that you are not her and the stress has to be extreme and constant to cause a heart attack. Your heart is a very strong muscle and with stand a lot, take a look at the positives and try not to think about jans story, tell yourself that you are progressing and this is just as minor setback, move forward with the program and learn new skills. Telling yourself positive things and actually beileving them will help you alot. Im here when you need at the same step and the same fears, we will be ok

[LMH2011]

Wow, thank you so much for the great advice stevenb33! I know I'm not the only one with this fear. My mother even tried to help me out by saying that I didn't know the circumstances surrounding Jan's health issues....she could've been on medication, she was much older than I am, we don't know about her eating habits, family history, etc. Which also helped, but it was my mother telling me, so I also needed to hear it from someone else! It wasn't until I had my 2nd daughter that reality hit me and I realized that I would be missed by 2 little girls if something happened to me! When I went to see a psychologist many years ago, she told me that she believed that I was going through a phase that most women go through, except I was stuck and couldn't move on. Having children really does change everything. If I didn't have children, I really think I would feel differently because I worry about how they would handle it if I wasn't here. I don't trust that anybody can take care of my kids like I can, which is what ALL mothers think, but I just take it to extremes. Thank you so much for the pep talk....it really helped and I'm going to try to move on and forget about that part of the CD!

[stevenb33]

i feel the same with my daughter as well in fact when i start to feel these anxitis thinking about her intensifes them because i know if i die i wont ever see her again and shes so young and this and that and blah blah blah, we just need to look at the positives that we are here and we are healthy

[LMH2011]

You are absolutely right, but sometimes it's hard. I'm sure with practice, we can become annoyingly optomistic!!

[KMMeyer]

Oh, I had the exact sam reaction to Jan's story. I was doing great until I heard that, now I feel like I've taken a step backward. I'm sure that is a big part of recovery though, two steps forward, one step back, but just keep on pushing through it. The positive self talk is definitely a challenge. Today is my first day on step three, and so far I think I'm up to twenty negative comments! Wow!!! The crazy part is, that was all before noon. I've got a lot of work to do, but I am excited to start trying.

[laurasparling63]

I think that it's normal to have anxiety about Jan's story. Of course it's scary! But it's not you, and it's not your situation. Jan even turned out ok with her heart attack, she didn't even need surgery! Best of all, she has recovered from her anxiety. You will be ok, too!

[LMH2011]

Thank you everybody for your responses! It sure helps to know that I am not the only one that had trouble with Jan's story. Thank you for all of the great advice....hopefully I can get past this and find a way to recover from anxiety!