I really want to move home. I am in a town where I have maybe two friends (hard for an agoraphobic with 3 kids to meet people). I really think if I am home I will have a better support system to get through this. I will have family and friends, and most importantly a man who really does love me. Should I really just be sitting here wasting my time, and my life. My children are missing family time that they could have upon the move. Its already planned out for me too so I don't have to stress over the who will drive me, who will get my car, how will I move all this stuff.
Long story short I moved to THIS town to be with a bf. After 2 years I had to stop that relationship, we were not good together and the eye opener was our therapist telling me he was killing my spirit.
Before the move my agoraphobia was less. I was home also. I went to stores alone, I didn't mind being home alone. I took my children places. We had fun even if it was close at least we went out!
I don't feel I am one of those people that can adapt to new places. Even before the agor I never thought ahh I would like to live there. I like home, family, friends, knowing where everything is etc.
Do any of you think the move can make a difference? I mean either way I want to do it, but I am curious if our surroundings or being unhappy in them can make this all worse.
Moving, can it help?
Re: Moving, can it help?
If you don't mind, I'd like to share some opinions. I think this can be a tricky thing. On one hand, the support of family and friends would be GREAT! Getting out and away from an unhealthy relationship with your bf, too, is great, esp. if you feel like he really IS/was "killing your spirit". That's no good! On the other hand, though, if you do move back with family, maybe you should think about setting some boundaries with yourself and them, so you can try to avoid becoming codependent with them because of your anxiety. Ya know what I mean?
Of course we're going to feel better and have less anxiety if we're around our, what we consider, "safe people" and "safe places". We have to learn, though, to think of OURSELVES as our "safe person" and try to not rely on everyone else to always give us reassurance, do things for us, or let us avoid things because they love us and don't want us to feel anxious. I think moving back home would be great if you feel like it would make you happier. Just watch our for the codependence with the anxiety and work on your program, ya know.
Myself, I'm getting ready to do just the opposite...move OUT of my parents' house and I've excited, but totally freaking out because I've gotten so comfortable here with my anxiety. I'm rarely ever alone in the house. If something happens, I have people right here to help me. Breaking away from that "security" I feel is scaring the crap out of me. So, this is what I mean by being very careful about not allowing yourself to start really getting codependent to where you're not working on yourself and instead, relying on them for the reassurance and "safety" you need. Make sense? I did that, to some degree, and now that I'm in a position in which I have to be much more independent, I'm struggling a lot with my anxiety.
Anywho, just my opinion. Do what makes you happy!
Of course we're going to feel better and have less anxiety if we're around our, what we consider, "safe people" and "safe places". We have to learn, though, to think of OURSELVES as our "safe person" and try to not rely on everyone else to always give us reassurance, do things for us, or let us avoid things because they love us and don't want us to feel anxious. I think moving back home would be great if you feel like it would make you happier. Just watch our for the codependence with the anxiety and work on your program, ya know.
Myself, I'm getting ready to do just the opposite...move OUT of my parents' house and I've excited, but totally freaking out because I've gotten so comfortable here with my anxiety. I'm rarely ever alone in the house. If something happens, I have people right here to help me. Breaking away from that "security" I feel is scaring the crap out of me. So, this is what I mean by being very careful about not allowing yourself to start really getting codependent to where you're not working on yourself and instead, relying on them for the reassurance and "safety" you need. Make sense? I did that, to some degree, and now that I'm in a position in which I have to be much more independent, I'm struggling a lot with my anxiety.
Anywho, just my opinion. Do what makes you happy!
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Nanner823
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Re: Moving, can it help?
Thank you for the reply. I think its not so much as depending on them in the panic aspect. More of I am so beaten by life. I have not had a break from all of my children at once in 5 years. I know I would have more help with them. I guess I also thinking missing people is really getting to me.