Homework: Negative - I'm scared

sixc · Post by **sixc** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:13 pm

I don't have a positive.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 2:26 am

I get you. Positives are difficult for me as well. How deep I was in the negatives made me realize how hard I was going to have to work at this. I needed meds to slow my thoughts down enough to find positive thoughts and it's helping. My current life circumstances are making it very difficult for me to apply positives in so many areas as I have spent 46 years surrounded by or putting myself in negative situations unknowingly. I realized this before I bought the program. Listen to sessions more than once and read the workbooks and do the cards. Find the areas that apply to you. There are a lot of my specific areas that I can't find in the program so I make up my own positive/negative thinking questions. I prioritized which areas I needed to work on first and formost and concentrated on those. For every negative thougt we have, there is a positive. I found that I was blinding myself to the positives because I was afraid of finding them because that meant changing-See Session 12. We have to want to change and be ready to start. We're miserable. Both of my sisters have the same issues that I have. One is so depressed and her self-esteem is so low and she lives with so much guilt that she can't overcome, that she has given up and accepted her misery as a part of life. Changing for her means leaving her husband, raising a 6 year old alone and possibly living in government housing, putting herself, in an unacceptable (for her) situation. She can't conceive that and refuses to accept it, so she just stays miserable in a bad home situation. She can not even see herself in good place. She doesn't think she deserves it. She has always been like this. She is 48 and apparently isn't going to change. Don't give up. She could if she were willing.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 5:30 am

Ive been on this lesson (and 2) for almost 2 months. I listen to the cd's on my drive to and from work and could probably repeat the transcript by memory. Sigh.... I know I cause all of this, my awareness of the source is well known, my awareness of what to do is well known. Trying to beleive and practice this type of thinking, this way of being is just not coming to me. My heart aches to have someone to lean on to guide me, to be there at a moments notice. And i know that someone should be me but i dont want it too be.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 5:48 am

Sixc
I would suggest you find someone. Some Christian Counselor to help you. You can still do this work also/Lucinda's lessons will still be helpful in conjunction to your having a real person to listen and accept what your going through.

l[z · Post by **l[z** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 6:42 am

I agree with TimidGirl about a pastor. They can be a lot of help. But you don't have to start the workbooks immediately. I couldn't focus on reading anything when I first got the program. I was not even functioning. So I did as they suggested if you're not functioning at all and went to my therapist-thus the Lamictal. A counselor suggested to me to go through and listen to each session without doing the workbooks. As you listen further you will notice they go back and make referrals to other sessions. Once you've heard the whole thing, go back and start over. I stopped at session 10 as I was really getting tired of hearing and talking about myself. Session 11 does not apply to me so I skipped it. Lucinda says it's ok if you don't feel like doing it EVERYDAY. Don't stay stuck in one workbook for a long time. Take a break and do some thinking instead or just take a break from it, but don't hang it up. I called a counselor and talked with her. She sent me to sessions 12 and 14 as they apply to issues I really need to start work on now. Call the 1-800 number and talk to a counselor. I talk and cry. Don't be ashamed of crying either-I couldn't help myself. They are totally cool with that. They are so patient and understanding and can totally relate. Susan gave me her extension so that I wouldn't have to start over with another counselor every time I call. Don't pressure yourself to conquer this quickly. This is not a competition. We are not all going to finish this in the same amount of time. It will take some of us longer than others depending on where we are in our lives. Give yourself time and don't beat yourself up. We WILL get there!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 08, 2008 9:26 am

I am not a religous person so I don't see myself going to a paster, but i understand what your saying.

Im a man and I do cry, for no reason at times, sometimes it feels good, but i think its increased lately cuz i went cold turkey off effexor 3 weeks ago... must still be in my system. And yes, that was the best decision to do that. I reseached it and determinded the best timing with work, etc but even though its still hard at times, I feel less panic now then being on that stuff. Now its more general anxiety with good times too.

I didnt realize it was ok to listen to the tapes and not do the workbook. I do try to get to the workbook, but i wouldnt let myself go further then listening to lesson 5 before doing the workbook. I think i will do that now... because I truely wish I could listen too just the tapes... practice through the tapes... ive never been much of a reader, the musician and artist in me i guess.... Ill suggest that. Create a new program based on cd's only haha....

Oh geeez ..... its allllllll about me again.. thats one thing i hope to change...

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Feb 14, 2008 2:44 pm

Dear Sixc,

Seeing a counselor once a week is highly compatible with the course. If you are low on funds, this service is usually available at a reduced fee (sliding scale) through your county or city mental health clinic. It helps to have a real person to bounce ideas off of and especially if you are coming off of meds.
Hope you feel better soon!

Renji