clarification on lesson 3 needed

redsonja56 · Post by **redsonja56** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 12:58 pm

I am repeating the program and both times I got stuck in Lesson 3. Here are my issues - extremely negative and concerned with what other's think of me. Just generalized anxiety - no panic attacks

Now, Two things I need help with:

1. Why is "It's raining outside" considered a negative thought? I would classify it as neither just a fact. Can't we just write down the negative thoughts we have about ourselves?

2. Most of my negative thoughts occur while driving to work, so I can't really write them down while going down the road. so what do I do. I have been changing the neg to a pos in my head while driving

example: Please hurry up and turn.(NEG)

(POS) I need to have more patience that could be someone recovering from anxiety driving that car.

please help. I feel bogged down in lesson 3, and that I am not going to get as much out of it. I only wrote down 2 neg thoughts today, but I know I had more than that just wasn't where I could write them down.

thanks,
charlotte

Mom of 6 · Post by **Mom of 6** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:09 pm

Hi Charlotte. They use "It's raining outside" as negative because most people say that when they are dissapointed that it's raining, it's like complaining. They want you to see "the glass half full" instead of "half empty". You have to look for the "good" in everything.

I think that you are doing it well. The thought where you are driving and you said "please hurry up and turn", the pos. can also be "there's no real emergency. Getting there a few minutes later is no big deal. Everything is okay".

Charlotte, the more you do it, the better you'll get at it. Just make sure that the positives are believable or they won't work.

Take care. DeeDee.

Gman5256 · Post by **Gman5256** » Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:53 am

I agree with DeeDee.
I have noticed in your thoughts you are trying a little to hard, which in itself is no big deal, to make your neg a pos. Keep you pos turn around more simple. Again like DeeDee.
Example, why am I here again stuck in traffic. Turn around could be. Well this really is not bad, I can relax listen to my music, even work on my breathing tech. Another thing I have done was put the current week’s lesson on my MP3 player and listened to that while driving. That actually was the best help, on time when I started to get anxious. I was starting the heaving breathing and nervousness. I popped my MP3 on and one of the first things out of Lucinda’s mouth was. Panic attacks are usually made up unrealistic thoughts (this is not word for word but the point) and I just started laughing. That really helped the most.
I am like you and I am more then often in the car during my worse thinking, and the simple realistic pos work the best for me.
Try to Not try so hard on making that pos response, stop making it what you think they should be but what they can be.