Stress Center Peer Support

Posted March 01, 2007 02:21 PM
Some of you have already gone through this and know that it passes quickly. If you have/had extra anxiety (just what we need right ) the first couple of days/weeks of your participation in the program, please continue reading.

We have found this to be the case for perhaps a third of the beginners. Many ask the question, "Am I getting worse? Should I continue?" Let's look at why this may be happening and I believe you will find reassurance in understanding.

First, we must remember we are dealing with our anxiety, and any time we deal with something we have not been looking at but shoving under the rug and distracting ourselves from-in order not to Feel, it's normal for us to feel More uncomfortable. You are Focusing on your anxiety. You are not trying to run from it-turn around-look, hide from it-stand up-look, or distract yourself from it. You are staring it in the face. Running, hiding, and distracting are behaviors/coping techniques you've used in the past. As you now know-they will never "fix" the problem. Looking straight at your anxiety can bring on some anxiety at first but remember, this type of anxiety is TEMPORARY.

WE CAN'T GIVE AWAY ANYTHING WE DON'T OWN-try that with your neighbor's car. Own your anxiety so you can give it away once and for all.

One of my favorite comedians, Louie Anderson, took much of his humor from his childhood-growing up with an alcoholic father. He once said, "You will either deal with your issues, or you will deal with NOT dealing with them." How long are you going to deal with NOT dealing with your anxiety issues?

Change causes anxiety, even Good changes. Keep in mind that even when we deal with problems other than our anxiety, we can expect to feel a little more anxious. Allow yourself to be human!

Second, many feel that this program is their last resort. They tell us they have tried everything else, and fear that if this doesn't help they will have run out of options. That mis-belief will understandably raise one's anxiety level. This kind of thinking (Negative) adds too much pressure. Begin the practice of challenging your thoughts-the ones that make you feel bad. How do you Know you've tried EVERYthing? Let this thought go; replace it with encouragement. Ease up on yourself, talk kindly, compassionately, and watch out for all or nothing thinking.

In addition, we have noted over the years that it is difficult for some to take the Risk of getting excited. Some fear they will get all "revved up" and then be disappointed. I always ask, "What's your alternative? Do you choose to stay the way you are? Do you continue doing what you've been doing? (To expect things to change when you don't change your behavior has Never worked.) Do you give up?" NO! To give up is just an excuse not to do the work. You have any number of people praying and rooting for you. (there are 60 over here! ) As Ken says on one of the tapes, "Put your foot through that wall of anxiety."

Some people have more anxiety when they see that there is no magic wand in the bottom of the box. They tell us they've suffered for years and deserve instant recovery. They tell us it isn't Fair that they have to work at recovery, listen to tapes, read and do some homework. My response, "Working on the program is a lot easier than trying to exist with this condition."

Whatever your reason for extra anxiety for a short time, it is important that you realize that within the first week or two some extra anxiety is NORMAL for many of us and will pass as we learn how to Manage our lives differently and change our thinking.

Recovery from stress, anxiety and the associated depression can be challenging, simply because it's an unknown. Where's the picture of ME (the Real Me) withOUT anxiety? What will it feel like to be ALIVE and functioning without anxiety? Good Grief! What have we gotten ourselves into?!

Carolyn

i was just about to post about my increased anxiety when i saw this post. my anxiety is up and i just had an extremely bad experience at the denist. they wouldn't even work on me because my heart was too elevated. That really knocked the wind out of my me. Even my husband was saying why are you doing that program if it makes you worse. well that really made me question if i should go on. Reading this post is making me reconsider. i think what would be best for me is to take a little break from it and then jump back in. maybe just keep using the relaxation tape for now then start in again. i don't want to give up. and it really helps to know i'm not the only one experiencing this. i'm not going to give up! i'm going to take a little break but do the relaxation tape and when i'm ready (or not) jump back in.... anyone else going through this?

Mine has, but reading Carolyn's post makes me understand it. I was running from it, not facing it head on. I am on week 4 and mine is slowing coming back down a bit. Some things are better, other symptoms like to make themself known. The good thing is, each one is going away step by step.
Keep going! Own it and then toss it away like garbage.

Don't give up. The same thing happened to me especially after week 3. I think when you finally face the fact that you have an anxiety disorder and then your told to focus on all your negativity ( to change to positives), it hits you like a ton of bricks. Keep going. I'm on lesson 6 and doing better and better each day.

thanks everyone for your support. yeah i guess it just freaked me out especially since without the program my life has had some added stress. your right it's going to take time it didn't show up over night. i have medical tests towards the end of the month and i think it would be best for me to start in again after the tests are over. i won't give up i'll come back and keep going with the program. i understand now that it didn't show up overnight and it's not going away overnight. I promise i won't give up. Thankyou for your support. it really has made a difference. i don't feel mad at myself anymore. it will take time. thanks all of you!

i was wondering that too about increased anxiety. The relief was instant with session one then it got worse as i got into lession3. I also drank alcohol one evening and had a major attack the next day. I can see what they are saying that if we are examining our anxiety, of course it will get worse if we are paying attention to all the details. I am only in the beginning of week 4(I stayed on #3 b/c i was having trouble with the lession) and i just want to know when am I going to be normal again? Am i ever going to be able to drink coffee or have a drink or eat some sugar? I feel like since the birth of my child 9 months ago, it has been the hardest and best time of my life. How do i know if i am getting better? I literally feel like an outcast with my boyfriend, friends, family...I am walking on eggshells to change my life. I feel anxious about the upcoming holiday. Usually things like that mean celebration with food, drinks, fireworks, etc. I am anxious about all of these things b/c i know i can't do any of them b/c of the way it affects my anxiety. any advice from the people who are further down in the lessons?

Carolyn, this was so true for me, to the fact that I pushed the program aside and continued my old bad habits. I didn't want to face reality. Now that I've just gone through, what I think was detox. I'm ready to give it my all especially after reading this. I am now off all atidepressents among other meds. and alchohol. I never want to go through that again. I don't want to hurt myself or my family anymore and I've seen what the last 10 years of this has done to them and it doesn't make the pressure any better, but it's about time I own my problems and give them away. I plan on sticking w/ th program till I am finished and well and probably even after that. My problems do stem from my past so my family understood the past 10 years but they are so happy I have this instead of the other things I've tried in the past because nothing else really ever worked and I definetly do not want meds. anymore. Thanks for all your help.

I am wondering what to do about all of the increased anxiety that I am feeling after starting the program. I have been here in San Diego - with the major fires that have been going on. That is stressful - we were evacuated. And currently, the man I am in love with is sick to death of my 'freaking out' and has expressed that he wants to leave me - but still loves me. I need help with the anxiety - of the boyfriend (3 years) and getting better enough - so people stop running from me. I thought the second cd made me really anxious in the car - and it was hard to deal with. I don't think I want to listen to it again - just because of all that it described - I felt so much more irritated. Can anyone help me?

Carolyn, thank you so much for taking the time to explain the increased anxiety. This has been happening to me and somehow I ended up just checking the old postings and this was the first topic I saw. I think your explanation should be a standard for all newbies to read so we can relax and believe. That is why I replied in hopes that it will be brought back to current topics for us all.

Sandrakday, I agree. I am on week two and have had for the last week or so this under layer of anxiousness. I wake up with it and it really bothers me. But I am trying to tell myself, I will get through this program week by week and I will make it and will be better at the end of the program, but I just have to take each day as it comes. I have no other choices. I am also off work for Christmas break for my son and being home is making things worse. He is an only child and when I don't feel like playing with him I feel guilty. It makes me feel more anxious when I have anxiety to try and play with him. They day to distract yourself play with your children, but it makes it worse for me and I feel sorry for him that I can't be there for him.