Stress Center Peer Support

I just listened to the tape for session two and what sticks in my mind is the part where it says I can give myself cancer from the adrenaline my panic is causing. I just can't do this! I am so sick and now I am sicker. I have pain in my right lower abdomen I think I pulled a muscle. Pretty bad pain enough to keep me up at night. I have an appointment with my GP AGAIN! (ain't he gonna be happy to see me again! NOT!) Now I don't think it is a muscle I now think it is cancer and I am gonna die. I am freaking! I won't go to a hospital and I won't take medication. I guess I am gonna die real soon.

Christine,

Your post broke my heart.. I am copying and pasting many past posts I have responded to that will help you.. you are stuck im the midst of the vicious cycle, only you can stop it! read below:

Hey Sista!

Thats GREAT to hear! embrace those good feelings, meds or not! its a good thing! 2 things I try to do that has helped ALOT:

1) when the thoughts start creeping in, I use Carolyns method in session 2- I start thinking about those crappy thoughts as a memory. Just a memory. This is how I used to think- I dont do it this way anymore.. and push them out- get that gratitude journal out and write.. keep that positive flow going- I heard also when you start to recover and feel better those negative thoughts get stronger as if they are losing a battle- be the warrior not the victim- you control your thoughts not the other way around!

2. I relized the other day after feeling good for awhile, "who in my life is that nasty person who keeps me down and out? and why do I feel better?" OH ITS ME! (funny yes, but not) b.c. I suffer from ocd and have always beat the crap out of myself- now I have slowed down intentionally, fight these thoughts and am feeling as though a mean person just isnt around me anymore..

DONT even start thinking negatively just put that stop sign up! sounds like you are on the right path- keep up the good work!

Best wishes!

NOT RELATED BUT GOOD STUFF IN THIS ONE:
Hi Cathy,


You go girl- embrace that excitment! that is what that is- EXCITMENT- its a GOOD feeling!

I attach a post I wrote to someone with career choices also may help:

Hi There,

Before I knew I had a disorder and ocd I endeavoured on an incredible path- I made a decision to go to school.. I went into major debt and I even walked through a very thick anicipatory anxiety wall and got my first job in the profession. My point is I was suffering bad in my head but it all worked out, I can appreciate it as a huge accomplishment.. looking back Im glad i did it..

Jump in sista! have faith in yourself, trust your decisions.. you have the tools- use them, re-start the program! if you can read from Panic to Power- its a great tool all around! and dont forget to positive what ifs- what if I do this and am extremely successful? what if I make the change and meet a great business partner and we become a good team? what if my business takes off? what if I learn a lot?

Make a long list. I also have posted a scripture I received today (I am not religious but enjoy these..)I think it suits you completely!

Today's Scripture

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

As a follower of Christ, you are a new creation! You have a new spirit, a new walk, a new life! Are there “old” things in your life that you are trying to get rid of? Maybe you have old behaviors or addictions that you want to change. Remember, the new has come. It’s a new year and it’s time to be the new you. Let this year be the year you break old habits and addictions. Let this be the year that you move forward into a new life of victory. And your new life includes all the spiritual blessings the Lord has promised in His Word. You have a promise of peace. Health. Protection. Provision. Be encouraged today and know that no matter what is happening in your life right now, you can embrace the new life God has prepared for you. Make the choice today to leave the old behind—leave behind old behavior, old thinking, old words. Embrace the new by faith and you’ll move forward into the life of blessing the Lord has in store for you.

A Prayer for Today

Heavenly Father, thank You for making me new. Help me to understand Your plan for me so that I can fully embrace Your promises. I choose today to leave behind the old life and ask that You empower me by Your spirit today. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

I hope this helps, his website is <A HREF="http://www.joelosteen.com" TARGET=_blank>www.joelosteen.com</A>

good luck and keep in touch!

p.s. I will type a small part of from Panic to Power below that is related to your problem:

page 100: 'FROM PANIC TO POWER'- Lucinda Basset:

"A man named Mark came into group once to talk about a job offer. it was a job he had always wanted, but he was hesistant to accept the offer.
'what are you waiting for' I asked him.
'I want to wait until I feel less anxious' he said.
' But you are not going to feel less anxious until you step through the wall of fear. Why dont you just take the job, let yourself experience all the feelings of anxiety and realize that you can do it anyway? push yourself through the wall and do whatever it is you want to do in spite of the feelings of fear and anxiety. Then you'll relize that you survived and it wasnt as bad as you thought. And you'll have such a feeling of accomplishment!'

Mark did it. He took the job and stepped through his wall of anticipatory anxiety. When he returned group the next week we asked him how it went.

'My first day was a challenge' he said. 'my heart pounded, I broke out in a sweat, I thought for sure I was goinbg to have a heart attack and didnt think I could make it until 5:00 but I did! each day got easier.'

Two months later, Mark had no more anxiety about his job. He was much stronger than before and he felt very proud of himself. He had learned that you cannot put the cart before the horse. You have to take the first step anxiety and all and then allow the fear to dissipate. It doesnt work the other way around."

I think this may help you and dont forget lesson 2- give yourself permission. I KNOW everyone and i mean EVERYONE has these feelings of anxiety, especially during change, IT IS NATURAL!

THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A WONDERFUL WOMEN (also a member)

The vicious circle starts. It scares us. I know what you mean, I felt much the same way.

I NEVER wanted to feel THAT way ever again. Just thinking about how I used to feel scared me because I never wanted to feel that way. See my vicious circle. Feeling and thinking, thinking and feeling about stuff like this over and over can scare us.

But the skills of the program CAN sustain you! I know when I first started to feel better, I thought it was too good to be true. I thought that I would slip back but never did. Sure I have good days and not so good days, but goodness life has been SO much better! I know everything will not be good, perfect and in my favor all the time and that is OK too!

I finally gained self confidence and self esteem in myself that I can achieve great things alone, without my safe person. I have faith in my actions and judgement and although I may not always be right and correct I have learned to accept that too. I am not flawless and that is OK. I am weak and vulnerable and I am strong and intelligent too! I am human, that IS the way I am supposed to be. I feel, I think, I experience! I know I can't be everything to everyone and that is fine too. I have to set realistic expectations for myself and lower my expectations of others in order not to get into that same hole I was in.

What is triggering you feeling bad? Is is weather, lack of light (seasonal affective disorder?) job stress (work got busier or slower), more responsibilities? Or maybe your spouse, kids, friends are busier and you do not spend time with them? Maybe your routine, diet, sleep pattern has changed?

You are not alone though. I get down here and there and sit under the full spectrum lamp. That perks my mood up! I also need to remind myself that I will not always be elated and joyful, that I will feel aye, so-so or maybe a bit down and tired...and that is OK too as long as it does not last for weeks. I remind myself that things will look better in a day or two. Sometimes it is just the weather or something I ate that does this to me. But it passes! Use the skills and keep going!

"Afterall, everybody only hears what he understands." by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Hi KDlady:

This is a toughy. I am not recovered by many means (on session 4) so I cannot answer that but what I can do is share some of my progress thus far.(I am skeptical too still and know I have a long way to go!)

I have been battling my negative and ocd thoughts.. and the odd time I'll get a wave of 'calm, happiness, peace' and I know practise makes perfect..

I believe we can completely change this thinking around. I know I read a post by a veteran and he said something to the effect of, when you start getting better and understanding the disorder your negative thoughts and ocd thoughts will get stronger , its like a demon you are slaying, it keeps trying to control you. Forget it. You control it. That hit home to me.. b.c. when I first started I didnt even know i had ocd that diagnosis came just after when I starting consulting many professionals.. my ocd as i now know it, and my thoughts/anxiety got so bad it was to the point I packed it up and tried to send it back. I am grateful I didnt thanks to many members who kept inspiring me to challenge this.

It is a big CHALLENGE for us and we can totally kick its ass..

Keep posting and chatting, we are all here for you!

_______________________________________

There is a ton of information here and I hope something sticks out for you! keep the hope and faith..

Please keep me posted!

christine

Im so sorry that it frightened you so...but think of the possibility of doing what youve done with the negative; with the positive.

True that consistant chronic stress on the body does no good.....and no you have not had this long enough to cause yourself cancer! but the same is true from turning to the positive. If I live my life full of hope and faith and positiveness I will be a healthy person.

Healthy attitude creates healthy atmosphere and there for inturn creates healthy people.

Of course its more scary to face a demon we have in life. Its perfectly natural....but you can overcome this. As easy as it is for you to doubt and see the wrong and the fear you can just as easily see the faith and the good and the happiness. It takes time to break old habits and learn new ways but it can be done.

I want you to look in your head close your eyes and paint what you see....pretty miserable. Now I want you to close your eyes again and envision a person healthy and strong, beautiful and full of love and wealth and knowledge. You with a beautiful dress on, standing where you think is lovely a desert overlooking the rocks, a lush forest full of green, a garden of flowers...wherever.

The law of attraction tells us that what we think is attracted to us by the forces of the universe. If we think negative and see ourselves as weak and sick and depressed we will be weak and sick and depressed. But if you see yourself the opposite so it shall be.

Please please please dont give up. The first two lessons of the program are more informative to make us all aware of what anxiety/depression really are and what it can do if given the time to do it. But the rest of the program fills you with hope and comfort and encouragement and coping skills to make changes in the way you live your life and talk to yourself and those around you. These skills and lessons in life will be something you will forever possess and they will change your life if you allow yourself to try.

Please keep at it.
come here whenever your scared or stuck....you will always find freinds who have been there or are there and together you will find the answers. Your where you belong....dont give up on Christine! I know I wont.
Dodger

i'll keep this short and simple. i don't care where u heard it. anxiety and panic attacks do not and can NOT cause cancer. that is the most rediculous thing i have ever heard of. this is an irrational fear and im sure you're taking it out of context. it's not true. it's not true. it's not true... just thoughts! thoughts don't make it real or i'd have like 50 billion dollars in the bank and 7 super models living with me! i'd also be dead 7000000000 times by now from the stupid things i use to think!

one last time...IT'S NOT TRUE! smile and do some relaxation!

oh yea. there are people that have lived with panic/anxiety/depression for 50 years and they don't have cancer!

Originally posted by Dodger:
christine

Im so sorry that it frightened you so...but think of the possibility of doing what youve done with the negative; with the positive.

True that consistant chronic stress on the body does no good.....and no you have not had this long enough to cause yourself cancer! but the same is true from turning to the positive. If I live my life full of hope and faith and positiveness I will be a healthy person.

Healthy attitude creates healthy atmosphere and there for inturn creates healthy people.

Of course its more scary to face a demon we have in life. Its perfectly natural....but you can overcome this. As easy as it is for you to doubt and see the wrong and the fear you can just as easily see the faith and the good and the happiness. It takes time to break old habits and learn new ways but it can be done.

I want you to look in your head close your eyes and paint what you see....pretty miserable. Now I want you to close your eyes again and envision a person healthy and strong, beautiful and full of love and wealth and knowledge. You with a beautiful dress on, standing where you think is lovely a desert overlooking the rocks, a lush forest full of green, a garden of flowers...wherever.

The law of attraction tells us that what we think is attracted to us by the forces of the universe. If we think negative and see ourselves as weak and sick and depressed we will be weak and sick and depressed. But if you see yourself the opposite so it shall be.

Please please please dont give up. The first two lessons of the program are more informative to make us all aware of what anxiety/depression really are and what it can do if given the time to do it. But the rest of the program fills you with hope and comfort and encouragement and coping skills to make changes in the way you live your life and talk to yourself and those around you. These skills and lessons in life will be something you will forever possess and they will change your life if you allow yourself to try.

Please keep at it.
come here whenever your scared or stuck....you will always find freinds who have been there or are there and together you will find the answers. Your where you belong....dont give up on Christine! I know I wont.
Dodger

i see someone has been reading the book the "Secret".....haha good book!

Yeh, I kind of heard that one too. And you're right, it is freak-out worthy "feeling" when you hear it on the audio cd. That one definately stuck out like a big red flag.

Well, what did the doctor say? Are you gonna be okay or have you been yet?

I have freaked out over a certain disease for years that I just knew I must have. I had diagnosed myself; however, I was wrong. I went back at least 3 times to find out if now they could see it in the tests. Still the answer was no. I finally had a nurse tell me that I was getting all worked up over nothing and that it was "just borrowed worry". Ya know, she was right in my case. I hope that applies to yours as well. Good Luck!

Thanks for asking. The pain in my side it gone. I now have pain in my temple and twitching and bubbling in my chest. I now have a brain tumor that came from the cancer in my chest. WHY DO I DO THIS???? I feel I can't stop it. I am in pain.

I wouldn't fret over it until you actually get cancer. Remember you're working yourself up into a panic, slow down and tell yourself positive things. I to slightly got alarmed by that statement but took it with a grain of salt because I am tired of worrying about everything when there isn't nothing wrong. Take your Session 2 card out, that helps me. The program is a little over-whelming, there is alot to it but I guess we need all the reinforcement we can get lol! I know you will get through it, remember those feelings always go away

about to start session 2 and already nervous