Begging for Support PLEASE!!!

jharmon1 · Post by **jharmon1** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 4:41 am

Currently, I am in the middle of my Session #2 week. I feel that I am learning the skills okay and completing each daily assignment along with using my relaxation time. Unfortunetly, I had several BAD news about someone I care dearly about and who has meant the world to me throughout my life. This is my Grandmother. She is 84 years old and is the most warm-hearted person in the world! Unfortunately, she fell last week while getting dinner and broke her femur bone in her leg, which is the longest bone in the leg. SHe already used a walker because of poor walking capabilities and now the doctors say that she most likely will not waly again. They say she will have to be in a wheel chair and can ONLY leave the hospital by moving from her apartment, which she loved dearly, and move into a nursing home. I understand that she is 84 and may have difficulties with daily living on her own but she fears and is saddened by the thought of losing her independence. I have two relavtives that can assist her daily but not 24-hours a day/7 days a week. I try to comfort her over the phone with positive thoughts and telling her to take one day at a time but I can still tell she is very depressed. I wish there was something I could do to help her be able to live on her own again and hopefully, be able to walk again on her own. If you have any suggestions or helpful comments on my stressful life event, please let me know. In advance, I want to caringly say thank you for your support and advice. Best wishes to all of you.

SeaRunner · Post by **SeaRunner** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:10 am

Hi Jharmon,

I just wanted to say I have been where you are and it just is a difficult time. When I was younger we had my grandmother with altzheimers live with us until she fell and could not be rehabilitated. She had to go into a nursing home. Years later another family member fell ill. Take care of yourself during these times. It can be emotional but you will get through it...and be stronger for it.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 5:21 am

Jharmon

I have grandmas that are in the same position as yours....they were both very depressed about going into a nursing facility afraid of the very same thing independence. Plus those nursing homes have a bad reputation for being terrible places to be. But thats not true.

Both of my grandmas are now saying they wish they would have come sooner. They absolutely love it. My husbands grandma is in an assisted living place, after the death of her husbad she stayed in her condo alone and lonely although she did something everyday she did it alone. When it came that she was unable to drive anylonger she was devestated and when the suggestion came to go to the assisted living she was so sad crying all the time. She is so happy now. She has so many new freinds and the staff is amazing. There are activites and visiters and all sorts of things to do. She absolutely loves it.

Now my grandma is much sicker and bed ridden with terminal cancer and although she cant participate in all the activites again the staff is fabulous treats her with kindness and comfort. Good food and she has lots of freinds and family coming in to see her. I see her spirits improved much since seeing what its actually like to be there. We have pictures and her things all over her room....her own blankets, her own pillowcovers, things that make her feel like shes in "her" own place.

I know its hard to watch them be so sad but I think once she gets there the negative stigma of the nursing home will be gone and she will see how nice it can really be.

ITs tough to have our loved ones fall ill but you keep doing your program and you keep yourself healthy and you send pictures and letters and things that will make her happy...She is very loved. Put all your sadness and worry to good use in postive ways it will be a win win situation for you and for grandma.

I pray for a happy transition for your grandma.
Dodger

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 12:59 pm

Hello there, I just wanted to say I know this is a very difficult time, but my grandparents to did not want to lose their "freedom"-which was basically sitting in two chairs in their own home all day, however, once they went to a home an amazing thing happened. They started thriving again! Bingo, dances, going down the hall to visit friends, it's wonderful. We have trouble catching them in their room because they are always "on the go". Stay strong and I really hope the transition is a smooth one.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:28 pm

As many of the others have said nursing homes and assisted living facilities can be a blessing, not something to dread like prison or a hospital. When seniors are placed in a community together they often become happier than when they were alone and "independent".Of course having someone close to you badly injured is never a good thing but try to stay positive, some good may come from this. I am only on week 4 of the program and the skills I have learned so far have really helped me deal with what is a very difficult time for me. Keep up with the lessons they really do work.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:48 pm

Just wanted to let you know I feel for ya! Broken hips and/or legs in my mother and grandmother were a very challenging times. It's hard to say what to do or how to cope, but I have learned to look for the good in all situations, especially the really tough ones. I couldn't always do that. There surely will be good that comes out of this. It may be that you get to know your grandmother even better. It may bring you closer to someone else in your family. It may be that you learn more about yourself in being with your grandmother during this time. Those are obvious possibilites. I can even begin to suggest what you may learn from this experience. It's hurting, I know, but look for the good. You'll find it and it will bring comfort.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jan 21, 2008 2:52 pm

Dear Marcus. Thanks for the pro reports on nursing homes. I am 78 in good health, but since my husband died going on 3 yrs. I;v had those scary tyhoughts about having to go into onr/and i think that has had a lot to do with my problem. I;m not going to use that A word.. Im into my 5th wk in the program and think I'm doing better. Still have to take meds, but have been able to cut back some..ii just know i will beat this and be my old self again. thanks for listening.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:17 am

Thank you all for your guidance and support. I am so blessed and thankful to have people just like you to take the time and help me through my difficult times and emotions. God bless you all and may all your dreams come true.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:25 am

I am so very sorry 2 hear that. I wish there was something that i could do 2 help. I'm praying 4 u both.