Stress Center Peer Support

After writing in journals, and keeping track of my episodes I know what I am scared of. Death!

I became scared that the Lord was mad at me. I was scared that I had messed up so much that the lord didn't want me anymore. That he was allowing all of this to happen to me.

Now I just need to reprogram my thinking. I started listening rereading the bible. I started reading everything Jesus said. Jesus just don't seem like the type of person that would mark someone off.

And if Jesus can only do what he see's the father do then I am reasuring myself that my thoughts were completely out of line.

It is amazing what we can believe if we continually thing others know more than we do. That is my case. I was listening to alot of hell and brimstone preachers. That terrified me.

It terrified me to think that the Jesus I read about growing up would lose interest in people so quickly. That is what the hell and brimstone preachers kept reasuring.

After awhile I got to a place were I was scared to even pray even.

I would roll up in a ball on my bed and cry.

I am learning that it is ok to be human and not have to be this perfect spiritual being.

Has anyone else been threw this?

I am so happy you are renewing your mind using the words of Jesus. GOD IS LOVE.
He loves you so much, He sent Jesus to make a way for you to live with Him forever.
1 Corinthians 13 is such a great scripture. I like to read it, substituting God for the word "love."
God is patient. God is kind. God does not envy. God does not boast, nor is He proud. God is not rude. God is not self-seeking. God is not easily angered. God keeps no record of wrongs. (Jesus took care of that). God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the TRUTH. God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. God never fails.
What a great affirmation!
He created you to be just who you are. And I believe this program will help us to become more wholly ourseves. I'm on lesson 4 and it's just so good for me. Remember, you are loved.
Joanne

Beth the Lord does not get mad at us, read the Shack by Wm. Paul Young and you will know, what a lot of people know, that God is all forgiving and can not get mad at us..you will see, read...

Hi Beth! I think your post is very honest and I'm sad to hear you've been thinking that way. Please don't listen to those "hell and brimstone preachers" because they do not preach anything that Jesus preached when He was here on this earth. Jesus is about LOVE. FORGIVENESS. LIFE.

These verses really help me when I'm feeling anxious but they also show that God LOVES us
You are his precious daughter. And that is how He loves you.

Isaiah 41:13 For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Phil 4:6: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

Josh 1:9: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

1 Pet 5:7: Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Matt 11:28: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Isa 41:10: So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

John 14:27: Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

Also I don't know if you ever listen to contemporary christian music but that is what helps me when I'm anxious and they all sing of love...not fear or disownment. I think it would be helpful for you to listen and start to change your thinking.