unmotivated to work

[Henry23]

I just started using this program and just finished listening to seeion 2. I feel that everything the program talks about so far is descibing myself. My anxiety has been getting worse and has been increasingly hard to focus and get anything done. I believe my anxiety has always been with me some what but it started getting really bad about 7 years ago when my girlfriend broke up with me. We had a great relationship, been together for 3 years and then all of a sudden she wanted to break up because, according to her parents, she needed to date a doctor or a lawyer. She tried to make excuses that she had to listen to her parents because they had given her so much and if she continues to date me they would no longer support her. I'm not the smartest person in the world but I am sure not the dumbest but I couldn't help but feel inadequate. I started a new career shortly after that as a financial advisor, and I was doing great, and seemed to get my anxiety under control. 3 years into my new career I then was approached by a friend to invest in a business idea, which I thought had a great shot to be something. We opened a business account and deposited initial funds and then not too long after that my partner and supposed friend took all the money and fled. This happened about 3 years ago and ever since then my anxiety has been through the roof. I can't seem to focus on my job. My business has continually been declining because I am anxious when it comes time to get new clients. I am afraid to talk to people and pick up the phone sometimes. I have feeling of guilt and very low self esteme especially letting someone manipulate me and take my hard earned money. The issue that I am dealing with now is that my career is so tied in the way I feel. The only way I make money is to attract new clients and provide a good service to exsisting ones. When I first started I was doing great, I truely enjoy being able to help people deal with their insurance and finances and prepare for their futures. Since my anxiety has been getting worse my business has seen a tremendous decline because I can't seem to grow out of this. All my cleints love me and they have no idea what I am going through. I feel that if they know they will not longer want to do business with me. So i am at a crossroads. I can't seem to determine if my job is contributing to my anxiety and depression and making it worse since there is alot of unknowns in what I do or is my negative thoughts and anxious feeling hindering me from reach my potential. I do not work for an employer and recieve a steady W2 paycheck, I run my own business and that has been making me feel so nervous about tomorrow. I'm sorry I am rambleing but I guess I am looking for some recommendations. I am definitely committed to going through this program. Should I continue to operate my business even though I feel that it not helping my situation or should I take a step back and look for something steady so I can get my emotions in check. I know this is a hard question to answer and it has been driving me crazy. Also I have been dating this great girl now for about 9 months and I love her very much. We've talked about marriage but everytime I think about making that move it drives me crazy with negative thoughts. I need to fix this problem so I can go on with my life.

[coachchris]

Hi Henry,

Just wondering how lesson 3 is going for you? Is it helping you to move out of the negative into the positives?

Coach Chris StressCenter.com

[Henry23]

I haven't started lesson 3 yet unfortunately, I was away for a couple weeks and had to hold off on moving forward with the program. I plan on starting it this coming Monday. I hope that it will help with my negative thoughts. Thanks.

[coachchris]

Hi Henry,

Good to hear. Keep me posted. I am going to private message you some positive selftalk to help get more positive going. Make it a good day.

Coach Chris StressCenter.com

[BillSheldon]

Hi Henry,

I'm not sure if you still read these forums, or how you're doing now, but I wanted to let you know that I stumbled upon your post, and that I can thoroughly relate to it. I too am a business owner, and feel apprehensive about doing what it takes to make it thrive due to awful self-doubt, anxiety, and off-and-on depression. I hope you are better now, and would love to hear an update.

BS