panic over trying to quit my job and get new one

[sunshine11]

Hi. This is my first post. I'm in an extremely negative job. I am a cena in a nursing home and I'm being mandated on most or all of my days off and being mandated to stay over for 12 or 16 hour shifts with fear of being fired for abandonment of patients if we refuse these mandations. So I feel the need to get a new job. So I look at an application and it says can we contact your current employer. Just from that question I have a panic attack because I feel my employer will not give me a good reference because they don't want to lose me. So how do I get through this and face my fear? I am feeling unprepared.

[Ccaa]

Don't worry so much about what they might say about you, legally employers are limited to what they can say. Most of the time they don't even call your current employer. I'm guess is that most cna employers in your area are the same, why don't you thank to your boss. Tell him or her that you re too tired and burned out and that you will be a better worker if you are rested and if he or she doesn't understand then its a risk you must take. Face it if you are working that many hours then they need you more than you need them. If you are like me a new job will e good for your anxiety because it will keep your mind busy with the new environment and give you less time to obsess the anxious crap. Best of luck to you.

[BethFunk]

So... Session Two tells us to follow some steps.
1) You notice that you have anxiety over your job situation, the mandates and your exhaustion. This is external anxiety, real and normal.
2) You give yourself permission to feel this anxiety... it won't kill you, it is normal and you have a justifiable reason to feel anxiety over the situation. Good job to you for trying to solve the problem!
3) Breathe. You are going to find a solution. The symptoms of anxiety will pass. You will have good moments while you are going through this. You are strong, or you wouldn't be a CNA!! Breathe.
4) Say positive things to your self.

Now is the time to put the STOP sign up.

STOP worrying about the future job before you have it. STOP worrying about whether they check your current employer, you can't control that. STOP and remember that you are dealing with a situation by trying to find a solution. That's good. Keep breathing.

Every time you start worrying about something that is different than your original external anxiety over a difficult situation, STOP, breathe, distract yourself and remember that you are dealing with it. Breathe until your sypmtoms lessen.

BTW... I'm writing this because I know it is what I have to do, too!! Good Luck!!
PS I have quit and been fired through my life. It's never easy changing a job... you can do it.

Beth

[sunshine11]

Thank you! I went for it and got the job! I am much happier at this job. It was time for a change!

[shannluv28]

I went through a work related situation a few months ago. I was in a negative job at an insurance company where people would call and tell me about their diseases ( not great for a hypochondriac), and also yell at me if something had not been paid. I also own my own business on the side and I wanted to quit my negative job to focus on my business. My panic attacks became really bad around the time that I decided I would quit, and my hypochondria was in full force ( i thought I had ms, lupus, heart disease, bone cancer, and a kidney disorder all within a period of a few months, so yeah, it was pretty bad lol). I think for us anxiety sufferers, we are so afraid of change in our life, that we come up with the worst case scenarios to justify feeling uncomfortable about something new. I'm so happy that things are better for you now!!