2nd Time Around, Big Triumph Today!

[KaraB]

I tried this program a year ago, and while I learned a lot, I didn't do a very good job of really working at it and only got through half the cds and workbook. My anxiety problems can go through cycles, so once I was feeling better, I kind of stopped doing it for almost a year. The lesson here is that there are ups and downs to life, but if I want to weather the downs better, Ive got to stick with this and put in the work. It took me decades to worry and anticipate and negative think myself into panic and anxiety disorder, so I should expect to put in some time and effort to change how I think and how my body responds to stress. I wasn't always this way!

Today, I had to substitute teach, which I hadn't done yet. I've been dreading it for weeks and you can imagine the state that I worked myself into by last night. I hardly slept and had panic all night. The closer it got, the more anxious I was. I even had trouble getting ready and couldn't eat anything. I was sooooo close to calling in 'sick' as I've done with other jobs. I really really really just wanted to hide under my blankets and not go do something that was making me almost freak out with panic. But somehow I went, partly because I knew that not going would be a big setback, and only make the next thing scarier. Feel the fear and do it anyways. So I did, and as soon as I got to school, I was fine! It was all anticipatory anxiety. Once I was moving and talking and smiling, the panic was over. It was like night and day. I can't even believe the state I had put myself in- I really felt like it was the end of the world! And I'm going back tomorrow... I am going to put the time and effort into recovery this time and stop being so afraid!

[asammy]

That's so awesome to hear! I'm glad you stuck through the anxiety and went through with what you needed to do. That's a big part of this program I'm finding - going into situations when you feel anxious and realizing you can do it! I'm studying to be a teacher right now and it's good to hear of someone else who struggles with this type of stuff and being successful!

[ruselslus]

I have had this program sence July. I started the program for 2 weeks and then I stopped! Now I am back to it in my 2nd week and plan to complete it all the way through.I bought this program to see if it works for anger. I really hope I have success with it. I am really tired of being controlled by my anger. I have a passive aggresive personality that I have developed over the years and now I strongly want to change it! Does this work for anger....Does anyone know?

[Iwillbebetter]

Kara, Thanks for you post. I had done this same thing, this is my 2nd time doing the program after first attempt that was similar to yours. It's nice to read your post it makes me feel good about doing this again and making it threw. I've been having a few bad days the past couple days and really needed some motivation!!

[mmwillie928]

i am encouraged by something said in the first post of this string of messages. you mentioned that when you got to school you were fine and that your anxiety was all anticipatory anxiety. i just thought that was insightful, cause how many times do we avoid doing something cause of the anxiety we get before doing it? how much of our avoidance is mostly caused by the "pre-feelings"? i know once i finally do something despite my anxious feelings, like just spit it out there, that i may feel a lil anxiety after, but it goes away easier and i don't feel all down on myself for not having done something.
thank you again for your insight

[LyndaLu]

I am working on the program for the second time around also ! I am only starting Week Two,
but I feel that I am putting more effort into the program this time around. I started participating in some
workshops at a local Workforce Connection Center ( I am unemployed ) and I started taking some
classes at a local Women's Foundation too. Just getting out and doing things is really a great way
to jumpstart the program, the week, the day. I had the anxiety thing this morning, should I go to
the workshop, or should I bail out and stay home. Finally good won over bad and I drove on over
to the Center and just did it ! I am hoping to gain more confidence and strength in my life. I have
turned into a quiet agoraphobic who cannot express herself. There was a time in my life where I
had no problem talking, I could talk a lot, ha ha. I don't want to be my old self, because my old
self lead me to where I am now, full of panic, stress, anxiety and depression. I just want to become
a better me than I am now. Wishing you all luck on the program and hope to hear from you soon.
Lynda

[Dixiesmom]

I am a stay at home mom now, but when I worked, I used to worry about my job the next day. What would happen? Could I handle it? For a time, I was also a substitute teacher and I used to dread having to go in the next day. I used to make it through the day, but I never comfortable doing it.
I also had a small triumph today. A couple of weeks ago I was asked to join a volleyball group at church because one of their players was going to be out of town for the last couple of games. I haven't played volleyball in 10 years but was wanting to be more active with the church. I went to one game where I touched the ball 4 times. Out of the 4 times, it went over twice and we got a point on one of them. The other two times, one hit the net and one went out. They set me out the second game set. About a week later, I ran into the man that asked me to join the team while I was out shopping. We had a game coming up and he said his wife was going to take the place of the girl that wasn't going to be at the remaining games - the one he had asked me to fill in for. I was terribly hurt. I realize I wasn't great, but didn't think I did that bad for the first time touching the ball in years. After all, this was supposed to be a church league. I finally confronted the man after church today. I told him that I didn't appreciate the way he had done me. I understood the desire to win, but this was a church league, what about fellowship? While I didn't finish what all I wanted to say because I broke down and had to leave, at least I faced the man, stood up for what I thought and felt and didn't hide my feelings and thoughts like I usually do. It's a start that I hope to continue and improve on.