Two steps foward Four steps back

[byfaith421]

I have had panic attacks for 30 years and I have finally decided to do something about it. I started the program two weeks ago and feel Im on the road to recovery and something happens, I feel I just blow all that I worked on and it goes down the drain. My thoughts are constant, it seems I cant turn my brain off. I guess with all that negative self- talk for 30 yrs. it want happen over night. I truly need a friend that understands what Im going through. So-called friends have told me to get a grip or go get nerve pills, but that is a problem to, Im scared of medication to the point I cant even take Advil for a headache. They laugh at me or tell me I need to see a shrink. It has caused me to withdraw and not tell anyone what I am going through, I just keep it all inside and lash out in anger. I guess I feel it is my only defense. I am so proud of myself for taking the step to get well, I refuse to live this way another 30 yrs. It is time to start taking care of myself for a while instead of taking care of others. I hope this dont sound self-centered because that is not who I am. I have a tender heart and I think sometimes people take advantage of that. The program is awsome and I have high hopes for recovery.

[Clarysage]

Good for you! I think it is great that you have made a commitment to get well and take action. That is wonderful. I think taking responsibility for your own well being is a very positive step. This program has given me so much. After listening to just the first CD I believed there was hope for me and that I could get better. Some days are better than others. I am only on session eight and already I feel more freedom in my life.
I have one friend I can talk to and I see a counselor once a week which helps too.