Negative thoughts

[joygirl623]

Well I'm new here, just started the program last week. Just a little background information... I had problems with anxiety a few years ago and was able to overcome it. After a stressful experience, my anxiety came back and it is worse than ever! I'm really hoping this program (along with therapy) will be able to help me feel "normal" again.

One of my main issues right now is battling the negative thoughts. I'll start to feel anxious and/or depressed and I will feel like there is nothing I can do to make myself feel better. Then more negative thoughts come - "I'll always feel this way", "This will never get better", "I'm crazy", etc... I try to ignore the thoughts or try to replace them with positive things, but sometimes I just can't stop the negative thinking. I'm really hoping if I stick to the program and do the work I will be able to overcome this, but sometimes I just feel like nothing is going to help. Any advice?

[jkulag]

I think it may have been Lucinda or maybe someone else who said, don't put so much pressure on yourself to be "normal". That helped me. Also, anyone can overcome negative thinking. Half the battle is just becoming aware that you are doing it. But it is a bad habit that needs breaking. When I first started trying to break this habit several years ago, I didn't even know how to have a positive thought. So, I have bought several daily devotional books on Positive Affirmations. You can find them at bookstores, and I believe there will be some in the tape on Obsessive Scary Thoughts. But I'm not at that session yet, so I continue using my daily devotionals. They have helped me a lot. At first they seemed a little strange, cause I just wasn't used to saying positive things to myself. But now I love them. And that's how I start every morning. It gets me started on the right track for the day. Best wishes and don't give up !!! jkulag

[Jenna1]

My negative thoughts aren't just about myself or about life in general. The negative thoughts are thoughts that are put in place of the person that I'm about to talk to or face (putting words in their mouth). For example: I'm out shopping and my thoughts are: My fiance is probably aggravated that I'm doing something without him. He would rather me be home with him. Am I doing the right thing? Should I be at home? Should I be entertaining him? ....now I'm not even enjoying myself and he's NOT even thinking along those lines. When I get home I'm in such a bad mood that I'm lashing out at him and he hasn't done anything or a thought like that hasnt crossed his mind. This is a silly example, but it could be the same situation for more serious instances. For example, my boss is in the office next to me...can she hear me typing? If I'm not working 100 % of the time is she going to be mad at me? I better think of something to do meanwhile like open and close a drawer.
24/7 these are the thoughts I have and it is just continuous. ALL THE TIME! How do you stop those thoughts!?!

[d1adsl5a]

Negative thoughts are the worst. Once the thoughts start it is hard to pull them back. Been going through a divorce for a couple years. Still trying to figure myself out. I meet this wonderful girl. I ended it a few months ago after 10 months. Got scared, clausterphobic, worried she wasn't the one, didn't know how to have fun anymore. Well 3 months later, crippling insomnia, my life was in a tail spin. She was the one thing other than my sons that made sense in my life. I call her. When I saw her, the love came right back. Within a week, I start the same negative thoughts. Is it right, isn't right. Is she the one?? I can't make a decision. I know I just need to relax, have fun and not obesess. She is the nicest person I ever met. She treats me great. I was treated like hell for 15 years in a bad marriage. But that is what i am used to. Always getting put down and putting up a wall not to deal with the pain. The girlfriend, does nothing but try to make me feel good. Yet, the negative thoughts swirl around constantly. I actually had an anxiety attack about it today. I am a mess. I am determined to see this through. I need to forgive myself if I am unsure. But, i understand the negative thoughts they are hard to shake...

[jkulag]

I have found it helpful to identify the type of thought distortions I'm in the habit of thinking. For example, am I assuming that I know what other people are thinking and assuming it's something bad ? That's an example of "mind reading". Then the next time I start to think I know what someone is thinking (when in fact I really don't) I remind myself that I am not able to read minds ! Or if I'm in the habit of singling out the one negative thing about a situation and just focusing exclusively on that when in reality there are mostly good things about the situation but just this one negative. That's called "mental filter". I found this list of the most common thought distortions that people are in the habit of thinking in the book FEELING GOOD by Dr. David Burns. It's been very helpful.