Hello everyone,
Life is all of the sudden moving very fast for me and I'm finding it very hard to stay relaxed. Last year, I graduated from university and currently, I'm waiting to find out if my application to teacher's college was accepted. I'm working full time right now building a stallion barn, but the project is almost done and there are talks of lay-offs. I have gotten used to the steady pay cheques and I'm afraid the money will run out and I wont be able to pay down my student loans. I am also in a serious relationship right now which I'm finding very difficult to manage because my anxiety is so intense. Whenever I'm with her, I'm afraid I'm going to embaress myself and I'm also afraid that if we break up, she will tell everyone about my anxiety. Although I really like her, I have been tempted to end the relationship in order to avoid the stress that is associated with it. Although I've always had anxiety, it is only recently that I began to have full blown panic attacks. My stomach feels like it has butterflies, my hands shake and my heart beats awkwardly. I have very scary thoughts and sometimes I cant even figure out what is bothering me. I'm really trying to work with the program, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to live with this the rest of my life. I'm only 24 years old and I already feel mentally and physically drained. If anyone has any words of encouragement or advice for me, I would really, really appreciate it. I decided today that I'm going to start using this website since it can be very lonely trying to do the program alone.
Life and anxiety
Re: Life and anxiety
Let me tell you something, I was married for 24 years and just about 1 year ago we separated and we are now going for a divorce. I have always tried to be there for my family but after my mother was killed in an car accident, lost my job because of a lower back injury and our daughter getting cancer ( all in 3 years), I was about ready to loss my mind. My wife said that I was not there for the family but she does not know what I was going through, I tried to tell her how I felt but to no avail. I do not blame her for leaving, I am hard to live with and I know that but what really hurt was that she told me that it was all my fault that our marriage did not work. Don't get me wrong she is a good person and we still get along, we have 2 children and still do things together.
About 8 to 9 months after being separated, a girl that I knew from a boarding school saw that I had put separated on my FB profile. I found out that she was quite excited to see that because she really want to connect with me. Things never worked out in school cuz she is 2 years older then me. I contacted with me and WOW my life has changed. She saw the issues I was having and tried to help. In fact she is the one that found this program for me, she is very special to me. She will stand beside me as long as I'm trying cuz she doesn't want to give up on me. I'm still afraid of moving on but remember if people find out it doesn't matter. Most people have anxiety and only the strong ones can admit it. Ben22 you are strong.
What I'm trying to say if that if a person can't except you with your good and bad (challenges) then they are the losers cuz we are very special people and they are the ones that are losing. People want easy but life is not easy sometimes you need to fight for what you want. The people that except you for who you are are the true friends and partners.
Ben22 don't try to fit into anyone's box you be yourself and that special person will find you and see the value in you no matter if there are some issues or not. They will stand by you and encourage you, I have found that to be true.
Hang in there Ben22. I'll pray for you man.
About 8 to 9 months after being separated, a girl that I knew from a boarding school saw that I had put separated on my FB profile. I found out that she was quite excited to see that because she really want to connect with me. Things never worked out in school cuz she is 2 years older then me. I contacted with me and WOW my life has changed. She saw the issues I was having and tried to help. In fact she is the one that found this program for me, she is very special to me. She will stand beside me as long as I'm trying cuz she doesn't want to give up on me. I'm still afraid of moving on but remember if people find out it doesn't matter. Most people have anxiety and only the strong ones can admit it. Ben22 you are strong.
What I'm trying to say if that if a person can't except you with your good and bad (challenges) then they are the losers cuz we are very special people and they are the ones that are losing. People want easy but life is not easy sometimes you need to fight for what you want. The people that except you for who you are are the true friends and partners.
Ben22 don't try to fit into anyone's box you be yourself and that special person will find you and see the value in you no matter if there are some issues or not. They will stand by you and encourage you, I have found that to be true.
Hang in there Ben22. I'll pray for you man.