Hi Melissa
I'm like you, having trouble staying motivated to the program with listenting and such. I do enjoy regular chat better. Wrote to the tech people and they hope to have the chat room running again on here in about 2 weeks. Don't be hard on yourself about the negativity, I think if goes with the illness, I know I do it too. Am feeling that way right now...feel I should do better with the program, feel like I wanna say "baaaa" to this self help...just help me, I don't have enery or patience for all this.
Glad to see you are doing well with drinking,,,,,you are working at it and that is very positive....Congrats.
If you want to send me your email address, I'm be happy to chat that way.
Isabelle
New here, need some partners
Re: New here, need some partners
Hi, all,
I've just started Week 2 and already have been doing a lot better. I just popped in the Session 2 CD. Immediately, it reminded me about this website. I had forgotten about it during the first week, but I hope to now use it to not only help deal with my anxiety and depression better but also be there if any of you still need someone with whom to speak.
Like I previously stated, I've already seen a really drastic change in myself from Day 1 to now Day 8. I know that everyone is dealing with their own demons and have their own reasons for using this program. Still, if I can offer some advice about how I've gotten so much out of this program in so little time, I'd love to be of service.
(Read the bold parts if you're short on time. The rest is just more info in case you want to see how I've used these things to benefit myself and adapt more quickly.)
For me, several things have been key:
1) Do the relaxation tape before you go to bed. It even helps if you have someone there to do it with you. (My little brother heard me doing the tapes one night and asked if he could join. He's anxious even as a teenager and I think the nightly tapes have even been good for him. Having someone to begin this journey with also makes it nicer.)
2) Call the phone number and get your free 45 min convo with someone who has been through the program, succeeded and is now here to help you. I talked to a woman named Amber and she was extremely helpful. I'm not in a financial situation where I can afford the 15-weeks-talk-to-someone-a-lot plan, but even in that once instance, Amber was a blessing. She gave me a few homework assignments that have given me insight into my situation. First, she sought to help me build a positive image about myself. Based on my resume alone, I'm supposedly pretty accomplished, yet I still have major self-esteem and confidence issues. Homework #1 therefore become to take an index card and for 30 days, as soon as I wake up, write down one, new positive thing about myself. I've "cheated" a bit and have asked my family members to contribute to this card. I will also be asking my friends every once in a while to contribute too. I think it's important for us to see not only the positives that are apparent to us, but also what good qualities others think we have. I like this homework a lot because it's easy. It requires anywhere from five seconds to three minutes in the morning and requires me to scribble about one word. Easy, but effective, the way things should be, no? Homework #2: Draw the roof of a house. Underneath it write all your pillars, a.k.a. things in your life that are important to you and that you want to excel at. Amber told me that every day I should evaluate my pillars and see that I am doing at least one thing to strengthen one of these pillars. This is also an easy homework assignment. If I just have to do one little thing every day for one of my pillars, eventually, day after day, 1+1+1+... will add up and I will have done a lot to better myself. You can do this too! Homework #3: This assignment is more difficult than the rest, has been the one that has been giving me most trouble, and, yes, I can be honest, is right now the least fun activity of the bunch. Amber told me that I am only allowed to worry for 15 minutes every day. As a known "worrier" (I swear its one of the adjectives my friends would give me if we had to play that whole "describe your friend" game), this idea befuddled me and I'm still have issues with it. Nevertheless, Amber gave me tools to make the most out of my worrying when I do. She told me to spend 15 minutes every day writing down everything that I am afraid of, basically all those "what ifs" that plague so many of us. For the 15 minutes after that, I was supposed to answer each "what if" with "so what if." This meant that I would mentally have to go through the process of facing my fears to show myself that something was not as bad as it seemed or that, with time and positivism, I could get through it. Ex. Fear: What if I talk in front of someone and say the wrong thing? Response: So what if I talk in front of someone and say the wrong thing! It happens. It does not mean I am any less of a person because of it. So what some people may be a little bit confused? So what I may feel embarrassed? I will get over it. What they think actually doesn't matter. Also, I spoke! I was unafraid. That is a big step in and of itself. I am proud of myself for speaking. Etc. Etc. I have trouble writing out my fears every day, but I find that when I do take the time to do this exercise, the negatives in my "response" section soon become quite positive and by the end of the journal entry I feel more uplifted.
3) Do the extra readings. It's totally true when they say that the more you put into this program the more you will get out of it. The day after starting this program, I went immediately to Amazon and purchased all the suggested readings for Week 1 (pretty cheap since you can find most of them for about $.01). What to Say When You Talk to Yourself arrived first, so that is the book that I'm currently on. I've been using "Self-Talk" in my journal for about two days now and it has significantly altered my mood for the better.
4) Journal, journal and journal some more! No really. Write down everything. Write down your thoughts and ideas. Take notes when you listen to the tapes and videos or when you do the workbook. Write positive "self-talk" sessions. Have conversations with yourself in your personal journal. Set goals for yourself. Talk about your progress. Talk about your lack of progress and try to figure out (on paper) how you can ensure that you actually see more progress in yourself. Do not cease in your writing. If you have specific questions about what to write, you can post them in a reply and I will give more in depth answers.
So in summary (sorry for all the writing!) WAYS TO MAKE THE MOST OUT OF THIS PROGRAM ONLY ONE WEEK IN:
-Listen to the tapes
-Do the relaxation tape at least before you go to bed every night
-Watch the weekly videos
-Keep that notecard (whichever session you are on) with you wherever you go
-Talk to someone who has been through the program via that phone # they give you when you buy this program
-Do whatever homework you are assigned
-Do the extra readings
-Journal every day, multiple times a day
Now, I know the above is a lot, but even if you do two out of the eight things I mentioned, I know that you too will be on a faster road to recovery. Good luck and let me know how it goes.
You can do it! Si se puede! 加油！
~Krys
I've just started Week 2 and already have been doing a lot better. I just popped in the Session 2 CD. Immediately, it reminded me about this website. I had forgotten about it during the first week, but I hope to now use it to not only help deal with my anxiety and depression better but also be there if any of you still need someone with whom to speak.
Like I previously stated, I've already seen a really drastic change in myself from Day 1 to now Day 8. I know that everyone is dealing with their own demons and have their own reasons for using this program. Still, if I can offer some advice about how I've gotten so much out of this program in so little time, I'd love to be of service.
(Read the bold parts if you're short on time. The rest is just more info in case you want to see how I've used these things to benefit myself and adapt more quickly.)
For me, several things have been key:
1) Do the relaxation tape before you go to bed. It even helps if you have someone there to do it with you. (My little brother heard me doing the tapes one night and asked if he could join. He's anxious even as a teenager and I think the nightly tapes have even been good for him. Having someone to begin this journey with also makes it nicer.)
2) Call the phone number and get your free 45 min convo with someone who has been through the program, succeeded and is now here to help you. I talked to a woman named Amber and she was extremely helpful. I'm not in a financial situation where I can afford the 15-weeks-talk-to-someone-a-lot plan, but even in that once instance, Amber was a blessing. She gave me a few homework assignments that have given me insight into my situation. First, she sought to help me build a positive image about myself. Based on my resume alone, I'm supposedly pretty accomplished, yet I still have major self-esteem and confidence issues. Homework #1 therefore become to take an index card and for 30 days, as soon as I wake up, write down one, new positive thing about myself. I've "cheated" a bit and have asked my family members to contribute to this card. I will also be asking my friends every once in a while to contribute too. I think it's important for us to see not only the positives that are apparent to us, but also what good qualities others think we have. I like this homework a lot because it's easy. It requires anywhere from five seconds to three minutes in the morning and requires me to scribble about one word. Easy, but effective, the way things should be, no? Homework #2: Draw the roof of a house. Underneath it write all your pillars, a.k.a. things in your life that are important to you and that you want to excel at. Amber told me that every day I should evaluate my pillars and see that I am doing at least one thing to strengthen one of these pillars. This is also an easy homework assignment. If I just have to do one little thing every day for one of my pillars, eventually, day after day, 1+1+1+... will add up and I will have done a lot to better myself. You can do this too! Homework #3: This assignment is more difficult than the rest, has been the one that has been giving me most trouble, and, yes, I can be honest, is right now the least fun activity of the bunch. Amber told me that I am only allowed to worry for 15 minutes every day. As a known "worrier" (I swear its one of the adjectives my friends would give me if we had to play that whole "describe your friend" game), this idea befuddled me and I'm still have issues with it. Nevertheless, Amber gave me tools to make the most out of my worrying when I do. She told me to spend 15 minutes every day writing down everything that I am afraid of, basically all those "what ifs" that plague so many of us. For the 15 minutes after that, I was supposed to answer each "what if" with "so what if." This meant that I would mentally have to go through the process of facing my fears to show myself that something was not as bad as it seemed or that, with time and positivism, I could get through it. Ex. Fear: What if I talk in front of someone and say the wrong thing? Response: So what if I talk in front of someone and say the wrong thing! It happens. It does not mean I am any less of a person because of it. So what some people may be a little bit confused? So what I may feel embarrassed? I will get over it. What they think actually doesn't matter. Also, I spoke! I was unafraid. That is a big step in and of itself. I am proud of myself for speaking. Etc. Etc. I have trouble writing out my fears every day, but I find that when I do take the time to do this exercise, the negatives in my "response" section soon become quite positive and by the end of the journal entry I feel more uplifted.
3) Do the extra readings. It's totally true when they say that the more you put into this program the more you will get out of it. The day after starting this program, I went immediately to Amazon and purchased all the suggested readings for Week 1 (pretty cheap since you can find most of them for about $.01). What to Say When You Talk to Yourself arrived first, so that is the book that I'm currently on. I've been using "Self-Talk" in my journal for about two days now and it has significantly altered my mood for the better.
4) Journal, journal and journal some more! No really. Write down everything. Write down your thoughts and ideas. Take notes when you listen to the tapes and videos or when you do the workbook. Write positive "self-talk" sessions. Have conversations with yourself in your personal journal. Set goals for yourself. Talk about your progress. Talk about your lack of progress and try to figure out (on paper) how you can ensure that you actually see more progress in yourself. Do not cease in your writing. If you have specific questions about what to write, you can post them in a reply and I will give more in depth answers.
So in summary (sorry for all the writing!) WAYS TO MAKE THE MOST OUT OF THIS PROGRAM ONLY ONE WEEK IN:
-Listen to the tapes
-Do the relaxation tape at least before you go to bed every night
-Watch the weekly videos
-Keep that notecard (whichever session you are on) with you wherever you go
-Talk to someone who has been through the program via that phone # they give you when you buy this program
-Do whatever homework you are assigned
-Do the extra readings
-Journal every day, multiple times a day
Now, I know the above is a lot, but even if you do two out of the eight things I mentioned, I know that you too will be on a faster road to recovery. Good luck and let me know how it goes.
You can do it! Si se puede! 加油！
~Krys
Re: New here, need some partners
Hi Melissa, Tommy, Deckcrafter, Isabelle, Germaine!
Did I miss anyone? LOL.
I am new here as well. I have depression, OCD, and generalized anxiety. I am also looking for people to talk to.
I am sort of isolated in a new town, and my poor fiance doesn't really know how to react to most of my symptoms. I feel alone alot. I tried making new friends here, but most of the people I have met are busy and can't get together.
Anyway, I am on Session 4. I am kind of stuck on it, actually! LOL. I feel like a lot of the discussion is common sense, and I should be able to implement it into my life, but I am having a hard time doing it. I, too, feel like there are more "testimonials" than "instruction." I really don't want to be negative, I guess I am just having a hard time.
I would love to talk to you all, and be there as a good listener.
I hope you are all well....
Did I miss anyone? LOL.
I am new here as well. I have depression, OCD, and generalized anxiety. I am also looking for people to talk to.
I am sort of isolated in a new town, and my poor fiance doesn't really know how to react to most of my symptoms. I feel alone alot. I tried making new friends here, but most of the people I have met are busy and can't get together.
Anyway, I am on Session 4. I am kind of stuck on it, actually! LOL. I feel like a lot of the discussion is common sense, and I should be able to implement it into my life, but I am having a hard time doing it. I, too, feel like there are more "testimonials" than "instruction." I really don't want to be negative, I guess I am just having a hard time.
I would love to talk to you all, and be there as a good listener.
I hope you are all well....
-
melissa225
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:42 pm
- Location: Modesto, CA
- Contact:
Re: New here, need some partners
Welcome Mandi,
Well it is nice to meet you and welcome to the board. It is hard to be in a new place with not many friends and especially when people don't always understand what you are trying to deal with. I wish you the best and if you ever need to talk feel free to contact me anytime. Have a great day and hope your having a good weekend.
Talk care,
Melissa
Well it is nice to meet you and welcome to the board. It is hard to be in a new place with not many friends and especially when people don't always understand what you are trying to deal with. I wish you the best and if you ever need to talk feel free to contact me anytime. Have a great day and hope your having a good weekend.
Talk care,
Melissa
-
tommy_riley
- Posts: 31
- Joined: Mon Jan 24, 2011 1:57 pm
- Location: San Francisco, CA
Re: New here, need some partners
Hi again everyone,
So I kinda got stuck on session #2 - have not listened to the discs in a few weeks or worked on the book. I will try and find some time to finish session #2 in the next few days.
Things have regressed a little for me - I still use the positive self-talk and that absolutely helps keep the physical anxiety from becoming completely overwhelming, but it is there.
My anxiety takes the form of adrenaline release, chest tightness which spreads out to my arms in a feeling of general nervousness. When this happens my brain just kind of turns off and I am focusing on mainly nothing or thinking about how my body feels. I will use the positive self-talk to tell myself "it's just anxiety, it will pass" but it sticks with me for hours at a time. I don't have too much going on in the fore-front of my thought processes (consciousness) that makes me anxiety ridden, but I believe what has happened is that long term worry about bills, past DUI's (and the consequences there of), limp in leg/not being able to do as much physical activities due to motorcycle wreck a few years ago, job stress/worry, relationship issues, social situation issues, etc. all have built up and are stirring around in my subconscious which in turn puts my body into fight-or-flight mode and releases the adreniline. So it's this years of conditioning that has brought me to this state. Even though I practice the positive self-talk, I feel like the "worry" that is in the subconscious is what is causing the anxiety to manifest itself in physical form. I can only hope that with continued postive self-talk and more session work my mind will eventually retrain itself to not release the adrenilne.
There are two things that are bugging me the most right now:
1. As I stated above, I was in a motorcycle wreck - everything I read says I need to get more exersize - so I do what I can, I goto the swimming pool and try and do cardio - I get so out of breath though that I can only do a few laps, so I resort to H2O running which doesn't seem to get my cardio up enough. I tried an eliptical machine and that made my back hurt for several days and I don't think it's good for my leg. So I feel kinda stuck in this catch-22 of knowing I need to work out, but not really being able to due to my physical condition. If I had a personal trainer they could probably help and guide me into things that work for my condition, but I have no spare $$$ to put towards this (barely make it month to month as it is). So that kinda pisses me off, and makes me worry that I am not doing more about it.
2. When the physical anxiety manifests itself it makes me clam up socially. If my kids are over on the weekends, I sometimes have to go lay down to try and relax, and I feel guilty that I am not interacting more with my children since I only get two days a week with them. I am also trying to explore a new relationship with a gal who seems to be into me, but when the anxiety is there it's hard for me to be forthcoming with idle chit chat, day-to-day conversation and she really noticed the effect my anxiety was having on me yesterday and asked if I was OK more than once. I sometimes space off and think about my anxiety or what other people are doing around us when she is talking to me, making it difficult to fully engage in the conversation. This obviously bugs the crap out of me because I don't want to seem like a borderline personality disorder guy or mr. no personality. Sure I have talked to her about my condition, but another fear I have is that since the relationship is still new, that if I talk about it too much, or make it the point of most of our conversations she is going to get scared off and then I will be back to alone time for tommy. I don't have many friends left that are worth talking to (most are drug addicts or alcoholics and I don't want to associate myself with that) so it just eats me up inside when I think about how I've gotten to this point of no real support/friend system and being isololated/alone. You would think that many people would be greatful to be able to focus on themselves and have lots of time to themselves to work on issues and become a better person, but I guess I am not one of those people - I want more friends and relationships and people to practice re-discovering my social skills with.
Anyway, I'm just rambling a bit today, feeling a little overwhelmed at work from all the catchup over the 3 day weekend and needed a diversion, so I came here.
P.S. so - now that we've all identified we would like some partners, how does that exactly work????
So I kinda got stuck on session #2 - have not listened to the discs in a few weeks or worked on the book. I will try and find some time to finish session #2 in the next few days.
Things have regressed a little for me - I still use the positive self-talk and that absolutely helps keep the physical anxiety from becoming completely overwhelming, but it is there.
My anxiety takes the form of adrenaline release, chest tightness which spreads out to my arms in a feeling of general nervousness. When this happens my brain just kind of turns off and I am focusing on mainly nothing or thinking about how my body feels. I will use the positive self-talk to tell myself "it's just anxiety, it will pass" but it sticks with me for hours at a time. I don't have too much going on in the fore-front of my thought processes (consciousness) that makes me anxiety ridden, but I believe what has happened is that long term worry about bills, past DUI's (and the consequences there of), limp in leg/not being able to do as much physical activities due to motorcycle wreck a few years ago, job stress/worry, relationship issues, social situation issues, etc. all have built up and are stirring around in my subconscious which in turn puts my body into fight-or-flight mode and releases the adreniline. So it's this years of conditioning that has brought me to this state. Even though I practice the positive self-talk, I feel like the "worry" that is in the subconscious is what is causing the anxiety to manifest itself in physical form. I can only hope that with continued postive self-talk and more session work my mind will eventually retrain itself to not release the adrenilne.
There are two things that are bugging me the most right now:
1. As I stated above, I was in a motorcycle wreck - everything I read says I need to get more exersize - so I do what I can, I goto the swimming pool and try and do cardio - I get so out of breath though that I can only do a few laps, so I resort to H2O running which doesn't seem to get my cardio up enough. I tried an eliptical machine and that made my back hurt for several days and I don't think it's good for my leg. So I feel kinda stuck in this catch-22 of knowing I need to work out, but not really being able to due to my physical condition. If I had a personal trainer they could probably help and guide me into things that work for my condition, but I have no spare $$$ to put towards this (barely make it month to month as it is). So that kinda pisses me off, and makes me worry that I am not doing more about it.
2. When the physical anxiety manifests itself it makes me clam up socially. If my kids are over on the weekends, I sometimes have to go lay down to try and relax, and I feel guilty that I am not interacting more with my children since I only get two days a week with them. I am also trying to explore a new relationship with a gal who seems to be into me, but when the anxiety is there it's hard for me to be forthcoming with idle chit chat, day-to-day conversation and she really noticed the effect my anxiety was having on me yesterday and asked if I was OK more than once. I sometimes space off and think about my anxiety or what other people are doing around us when she is talking to me, making it difficult to fully engage in the conversation. This obviously bugs the crap out of me because I don't want to seem like a borderline personality disorder guy or mr. no personality. Sure I have talked to her about my condition, but another fear I have is that since the relationship is still new, that if I talk about it too much, or make it the point of most of our conversations she is going to get scared off and then I will be back to alone time for tommy. I don't have many friends left that are worth talking to (most are drug addicts or alcoholics and I don't want to associate myself with that) so it just eats me up inside when I think about how I've gotten to this point of no real support/friend system and being isololated/alone. You would think that many people would be greatful to be able to focus on themselves and have lots of time to themselves to work on issues and become a better person, but I guess I am not one of those people - I want more friends and relationships and people to practice re-discovering my social skills with.
Anyway, I'm just rambling a bit today, feeling a little overwhelmed at work from all the catchup over the 3 day weekend and needed a diversion, so I came here.
P.S. so - now that we've all identified we would like some partners, how does that exactly work????
-
melissa225
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:42 pm
- Location: Modesto, CA
- Contact:
Re: New here, need some partners
Well hello Tommy,
Wow sounds like you are really overwhelmed but I'm not sure how it works on how we each talk w\each other but I have been talking w\some of the people through personal email. If you would like you can message me anytime I'm usually on here a lot considering I'm a stay at home mom and go to school full time and I do work but its work I make my own schedule. I understand though not having many friends and not wanting to concentrate on yourself because I'm the same way. I don't like talkin about myself much I'd rather listen to other people and let them know they have a friend and that I care. I have a huge heart and enjoy talking w\ev1. So if you ever need a friend to talk just send me a message and I'll get back to you. I can even give you my user name for messenger if you would. Well hope you have a great day.
Talk w\u later,
Melissa
Wow sounds like you are really overwhelmed but I'm not sure how it works on how we each talk w\each other but I have been talking w\some of the people through personal email. If you would like you can message me anytime I'm usually on here a lot considering I'm a stay at home mom and go to school full time and I do work but its work I make my own schedule. I understand though not having many friends and not wanting to concentrate on yourself because I'm the same way. I don't like talkin about myself much I'd rather listen to other people and let them know they have a friend and that I care. I have a huge heart and enjoy talking w\ev1. So if you ever need a friend to talk just send me a message and I'll get back to you. I can even give you my user name for messenger if you would. Well hope you have a great day.
Talk w\u later,
Melissa
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westlynne56
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:02 pm
Re: New here, need some partners
I'm new also and am doing *everything* the program suggests. I've suffered with anxiety for about ten years; luckily, off more than on. This year I got hit with a couple of health issues, most recently, tinnitis that has me about as anxious as I've ever been. Anyone who knows anything about tinnitus, knows anxiety/stress makes it worse.
So here I am, hoping--no believing--this program will help me get through. The relaxation CD's really help and so does journaling. Dr. has also put me on anti-depressent to help, mostly with sleep.
Hope to see you all through to the end of the program.
All the best.
Lynne
So here I am, hoping--no believing--this program will help me get through. The relaxation CD's really help and so does journaling. Dr. has also put me on anti-depressent to help, mostly with sleep.
Hope to see you all through to the end of the program.
All the best.
Lynne
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melissa225
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:42 pm
- Location: Modesto, CA
- Contact:
Re: New here, need some partners
Welcome Lynne,
Well I hope the program works for you I've been doing my best to keep up w\the program but her lately been having some trouble. I wish you the best and if you ever need to talk feel free to message me and we can talk if you like.
Have a great evening,
Melissa
Well I hope the program works for you I've been doing my best to keep up w\the program but her lately been having some trouble. I wish you the best and if you ever need to talk feel free to message me and we can talk if you like.
Have a great evening,
Melissa
-
Havefaith21
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Fri May 01, 2009 11:10 pm
Re: New here, need some partners
Hey all,
I am starting session two today, and if anyone wants to PM back and forth and motivate each other, I am all for it, feel free to PM anytime. I hoping we will ALL feel better ASAP!!!
Ashley
I am starting session two today, and if anyone wants to PM back and forth and motivate each other, I am all for it, feel free to PM anytime. I hoping we will ALL feel better ASAP!!!
Ashley
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westlynne56
- Posts: 24
- Joined: Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:02 pm
Re: New here, need some partners
Hi, Tommy. I was just reading your post and it seems to me that someone who is so down on himself, you've made some pretty amazing things. Just getting on this program is big, that and the fact you've decided to separate yourself from the negative people in your life says a lot about the person you are. Swimming laps? Amazing! Doing what you can? Amazing! My advice, share your experiences with your new lady, much better that giving the impression you're pushing her away.
Give yourself credit, man. I'm impressed.
Give yourself credit, man. I'm impressed.