The Challenge...Lesson 2

[NinjaFrodo]

This is the beginning of our challenge to go through the program together. It starts today and will go till the end of the 15th lesson. We work as a team and this is not competition. We all have diffrent strengths, weaknesses, ammount of time to put towards our recovery, stress tolerance levels, vulnerabilities to overwhelm and so forth. The key here is also not to do everything perfectly and the things we do are not just things on a to do list. I'd like everybody to instead of look at what they haven't done, to look at everything they have done in a sense that each thing you do is a step towards the goal of recovery. This is like a tunnel we are going through and we have to walk through it and we walk through it together.

EXPECT to have ups and downs, to feel excited and discouraged, to make progress and to fall into ruts. This is part of growing in any skill we learn. Progression is very very rarely a smooth straight line going up. It will look something like a rollercoaster so if you do feel bad and discouraged you can know this is just apart of growing and does not reflect your overall progress. What reflects your overall progress is the whole picture, both ups and downs.

I'm going to recover, I am recovering, each and every thing i do makes me more recovered. I will do everything i possibly can to recover in the most healthiest way because I refuse to live life based on fear, anxiety and depression anymore.

If you agree with the above statement then there are a few things i want you to do during this challenge

1)Type out (you can't copy and paste that is cheating) this quote whenever you post. Both in the threads here as well as any other place you post. It does not matter if you believe this right now or not and if it helps as you type it, imagine someone you highly respect or even idolize saying this to you. The reason for this is it keeps reaffirming why you are doing what you are doing it also reaffirms this for your team members as well as anybody else who reads your posts. This also tells me who is doing this challenge with me and is serious about recovering.

2)Write out and replace 5 negative thoughts. I suggest doing this everyday however there has to be room for times when you don't do it as well or else you may get overwhelmed and feel bad about not doing so and possibly stop the challenge altogether. That is not something I want either.

3)Write about using the 6 steps whenever you feel anxious or a very strong negative feeling. Tell us about your experiences.

4)Write about your experiences with the action assignments. Keep in mind you DO NOT have to do all the action assignments. Also do not overwhelm yourselves by trying to cram them all in the same day. This could cause more frustration than benefit.

If you have struggles or some negative thoughts you just can't overcome, feel free to post it and we will do the best to help out. Oh and because we are a team we need a name so we will be called Team Awesome.

The challenge starts now, Lessons will start on tuesday and end on monday of the following week...Good luck everybody!


Mike

[NinjaFrodo]

I'm going to recover, I am recovering, each and everything I do makes me more recovered. I will do everything I possibly can to recover in the most healthiest way because I refuse to live life based on fear, anxiety and depression anymore.


Another thing just as a beginning thing, I'd like to state what your purpose is to doing the program. What do you hope to achieve.

My purpose is to enjoy life more. I want to feel more excited about singing and hip-hop, I want to be more excited about other people and their excitement. I want to be able to share in the joys of others and I want to feel secure in any situation I am in. I'd like to be my biggest support and I'd like to live life the way that creates happiness and joy. I want to get out the cycle where I am focusing my whole life on just coping with anxiety and depression. I want to be the best that I can be and I want to help people on a very wide scale. I want to write books and do talks in front of 1000s of people. I want to make a lasting change in this world for the better, I want to inspire people to live the best kind of life they can and I want more love and understanding in this world.



Mike

[NinjaFrodo]

I'm going to recover, I am recovering, each and everything I do makes me more recovered. I will do everything I possibly can to recover in the most healthiest way because I refuse to live life based on fear, anxiety and depression anymore

I will be updating this as the day goes on and up until tomorrow.



Tuesday;

9:30am Relaxation cd;
Anxiety level fluctuated during the guided meditation. I felt better after the progressive muscle relaxation and more excited thinking about the person i wanted to become. Especially the part about being strong because I was picturing myself all muscular.

Wayne Dyer chant;
Felt more calm and satisfied on a overall general level

Relaxation cd;
Started to feel more relaxed but then my thoughts began to wander alot and I was feeling that feeling just before i fall asleep and i become more anxious. I didn't want to nap or fall asleep. I felt more accomplished and less rushed.

relaxation cd before bed;
I was feeling extremely exhausted and just wanted to go to sleep and thats because i had forced myself to stay up until 2am just out of habit. I got through the breathing and the PMR but then stopped and just went to sleep. It calmed me down a bit, especially the muscle tension and relaxation with the shoulders.


Listened to Lesson 2 cd. Some things that jumped out at me...The worst thing that can happen from the anxiety is that you feel depressed and exhausted afterwards.



Negative thoughts;
1)I'm sick, I'm dying
->I'm not dying this is just a cold virus. I've survived cold viruses many times and I will survive this one as well. This is a sign from my body telling me to slow down and not push myself too hard. I'm going to use this in order to start the habit of using the relaxation to calm myself down.

2)I'll never get over this cold
->This is a cold not AIDS. It lasts from a few days up to a couple weeks and then it goes away. I have an immune system and it will take care of the virus on its own and I can support it by taking care of myself, consume healthy food/drink and relax.

3)If I recover then i'll be taking on too much responsibility and overwhelm myself even more.
->I always have and always will choose the ammount of responsibility that I will have for myself. I am in control of my life, my behavior, my thoughts and my feelings. I also have great skills in order to cope better with stress and I become even better at them everytime i use them.

4)I need to rush, I don't have much time left.
->There aren't many things that i absolutely have to do today. Nothing will lead to a life or death situation if i don't do it and besides its only 6 and I still have at least 5 more hours in the day and nothing on my list takes more than 1 hour.If anything I'll have more time on my hands instead of less.



6 steps;
Well i've got this really nasty cold and I had to leave the house to get food for myself and I was starting to get a little more dizzy and started to feel like i would collapse. I breathed slow, became slower with my walking and calmed myself down saying that Its just anxiety, I can make it to and from the store and I did get to the store and back. I feel a little more tired but I did it and i'm fine.


Got to sleep at 2am

Mike

[mcshope]

I'm going to recover, I am recovering, each and every thing I do makes me more recovered. I will do everything I possible can to recover in the most healthiest way because I refuse to live a life based on fear, anxiety and depression anymore.

After a long weekend I am glad to be back on a regular rutine. My house needs a lot of attention right now. Our son came back to live with us, I am happy about that, I was not ready to have an empty nest. On the other hand, I had to empty 2 rooms for him to put his stuff, so the house needs a lot of TLC right now.
Is good to stay busy.
Still having a job interview tomorrow. Right now I am doing ok, I will have a lot of opportunities to practice the 6 steps.

My purpose for doing this program is to be able to leave my house without anxiety, socialize with friends and family without panic attacks, be able to visit my parents in Mexico.

[NinjaFrodo]

I'm going to recover, I am recovering, each and every thing I do makes me more recovered. I will do everything I possibly can to recover in the most healthiest way because I refuse to live a life based on fear, anxiety and depression anymore

Welcome to the thread mcshope, good to have you in Team Awesome! I can also tell you didn't copy and paste the quote which is awesome. I can tell you didn't because a spelling mistake. Great you are putting the effort into it. If you want to make it bold you can click on the B above the text box and type in the quote there.

Wow your son needs 2 rooms? He must have alot of stuff. I agree staying busy is a good idea because we don't want to focus all of our time on our anxieties.

Good luck on the job interview tomorrow. Yes you will have lots of practice opportunities.

So you want to overcome agoraphobia, social anxiety and anxiety with travel then?


Mike

[NinjaFrodo]

I'm going to recover, I am recovering, each and everything I do makes me more recovered. I will do everything I possibly can to recover in the most healthiest way because I refuse to live a life based on fear, anxiety and depression anymore

A friend of mine just posted a video on facebook and we had a conversation about it.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1940768

The first thing i thought was robot. It scared me. They are doing everything perfectly and they gave up their control all to the announcer. Is this what perfection means? To do everything like everybody else where it has no mistakes? That performance honestly looks so boring and there was no personality there. Does perfection mean to be something without emotions or personality? To be something other then yourself? This just makes me feel more against perfectionism.

This is what my friend said (she said it in a funny way by the way);

Ah, it wouldn't be so bad. Wouldn't need to worry about thinking. Quite a relaxed life probably. Just do what you're instructed, no fear of making the wrong choice because well, you don't have any! haha! Don't worry about being different, c...uz obviously everyone will be the exact same, under pain of death I assume.

Yes a robots life for me. I mean, look at all the cool walking in intricate patterns you could do!! well not you per-say, your master will tell you don't worry.

Join us Mike, join the better world! JOIN US!


Mike

[NinjaFrodo]

I'm going to recover, I am recovering, each and everything I do makes me more recovered. I will do everything I possibly can to recover in the most healthiest way because I refuse to live a life based on fear, anxiety and depression anymore. How I did things in the past doesn't work anymore I added a bit more to the quote...if you find it helpful you can add that piece as well!

You know thinking about my social anxiety or rather when i'm in face to face social situations compared to how i socialize on the forums, i've realized some stuff. I've told myself that I don't have leadership qualities, I'm not authoritative, I can't handle conflict, I wouldn't be able to handle problems when they come up, how i'm just boring, I have nothing interesting to say and I don't get excited. During these past 6 years on the forums I have been very assertive on the forums (and in person at times), I've handled many forum problems between people, I get excited and have empowered people to try new things, I've taken action many times and talked like a leader and I can write and write and write and write about many diffrent things and I get very excited! I have those qualities within me I just don't have as much access to them because of the anxiety. My mind goes blank, i can't concentrate as much and its harder to recall words. This only motivates me more because it shows me that if I can get to the same point in context to anxiety when i'm on the computer as opposed to face to face conversations, I would be just as effective.


Mike

[THH]

Was all that spam? on some of the other spots? I noticed that yesterday.

Well here we go again.
I played session two today. I thought to my self this is really good because it reminds me how far I really have come.
Sometimes I don't really feel much progress is happening, but I can say I havent had a P.A. ( Panic attack) for 6 months now!!!! I could so relate to this tape, I had those puddle feelings, I didn't really have the RUN feelings. I had the helpless FEAR!
I listed some of my symptoms before the panic attack. When I could feel all the things I had listed I realized it really WAS anxiety and when I used the 6 steps on the card, it did go away. When putting continuious negitive thoughts in your mind and dwelling on them gave me my body symptoms, which fed "somethings wrong with me" that fed the anxiety.
I really did feel like the people on the audio. if this is your first trip through this program it gets sooo much better!
Ninja, you are going to recover!
You have recovered!
We have to believe it down in the gut, I am strong, capable, smart, creative, postive, interesting, a great comuticator!


I love the things in the past don't work for me anymore! Awsome!

They do not for me either.

Good on realizing how you are on the computer
verses live face to face. You can do it. I think of things like this like riding a bike, when your just a little kid. Pulling off the training wheels, someone holding on to the bike, keeping you up right, time to time you look back are they still there, and they are not! You rode the 2 wheel bike and did good until you looked back, then you wreck! LOL... Point is you did it along. It was the (fear of what?) I can't remember that far back...hummm. But I remember the fear I could not do it?!
Just a thoought.

that video was kinda strange? I wonder if they are compeating or what? Is it like Americas got talent? LOL... Reminds me of a military?
We are too much rebels to join a group like that!

[SeaRunner]

"I am going to recover, I am recovering, and each and everything I do brings me closer to freedom from my self-imposed limitations. I will do everything I possibly can to recover in the healthiest way because I refuse to live a life based on false fear, anxiety, and depression."

Mike - I hope you don't mind that I edited your quote a bit. I thought it would mean more to me if I personalized it a bit.

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

I have let my fears and irrational thoughts restrict my life in a unacceptable way. I will not live this way any longer. I have a tremendous of amount of positive energy, self confidence, compassion, and creativity that I want to fully experience and share with the world. I want to travel to exotic places and experience fun and exciting challenges and I will no longer allow my scary thoughts or hesitations enter into the decision making process. I want to excel in my career and become an invaluable and irreplaceable employee. I want people to be able to count on me and know that if I say I'm going to be somewhere that I'll be there and not rely on the excuse that I'm too uncomfortable or afraid to go. I want to experience all the things that I used to enjoy so much like riding my motorcycle without even wasting a single thought on what might happen if I start to feel anxious. I want to fully trust myself, knowing that I don't need to be any particular place or be with certain people to feel comfortable. All of this is already within me and is just waiting to be fully utilized.

POSITIVE THOUGHT REPLACEMENT

1) I can't handle a full blown panic attack. --> There is nothing about a panic attack that can hurt me. It's a completely normal and healthy body response that is occurring out of context.

2) I'm never going to get past my current boundaries. --> Every time I push myself I get a little bit further. As I become more comfortable trusting myself I will see my boundaries grow and ultimately disappear.

3) I have to be in control at all times. --> The belief that I can always be in control is a false belief. There are too many outside influences that I can't change. However, I am completely in control of my perceptions and reactions. That's all I need.

THOUGHTS ON SESSION 2

I've become so used to immediately reacting to a panic attack that I've forgotten there is a moment in time where I can stop and decide how I want to handle stress. I would like to work on being more mindful of the choices I make when I start to feel anxious. When I just go on autopilot, I'm not always making the best decisions. I have some habits that need to be broken and others that need to be reinforced.

I also felt encouraged by Dr. Fischer reminding us that the feelings of anxiety under different circumstances might be perceived in a completely different way. When we are in actual danger, we wouldn't even notice the symptoms of anxiety because they are what we expect to happen. And when we are experiencing a very exciting event, like the example of a roller coaster he used, the same feelings would be interpreted as thrilling excitement.

I remember both of these topics from the first time I went through the program but I think I have a different perspective now and can more fully appreciate their meaning.

DEALING WITH PANIC

I went out driving today alone. Not only did I go in a direction I typically don't go, but I also pushed the limits of where I drive typically. As I started to feel anxious, which occurred multiple times during the drive, I reminded myself that that is exactly what I want to happen. I'm out here to experience anxiety and prove to myself that I can cope without running away or losing control. I also reminded myself to make a conscious decision to address my anxiety in a positive way rather than just immediately defaulting to my typical coping techniques.

I did come to a point where I had to make a decision to get on the freeway. Traffic was starting to build and the ramp was being metered. I got all the way up to the ramp but ultimately did not get on. But rather than criticizing myself, I instead gave myself credit for taking things as far as I did and handling my anxiety in a healthy and positive way. Also I know that just because I didn't take the freeway ramp today, it doesn't mean I can't do it tomorrow. I have an unlimited number of chances to take risks.

I find that I'm getting better each time with Step 1 of dealing with a panic attack: accepting. I'm allowing myself to move into and through panic without immediately resisting. It's still uncomfortable now but I can see that the benefits already.

ADDITIONAL GOALS

I really want to make a concerted effort to practice the relaxation exercises or meditation on a regular basis. Now that my sleeping troubles are getting a bit better, I think I can make that effort without worrying about falling asleep or becoming too tired while relaxing, which has been problematic for me in the past. I want to get to the point where I can quickly achieve a state of relaxation in whatever situation that presents itself.

[THH]

SeaRunner, You are a very good speaker. I do love to read your posts. You have a way with words. Keep writing, I'll keep reading...
Great stuff!