Stress Center Peer Support

Greetings -- I had difficulty thinking that I ever had a panic attack, but I remember this incident years back. I remember quite a few otherpanic attacks when I set myself to thinking.

I was on a ship out of LaGuaira heading for the US mainland with about 10 days left in the trip. I found myself on a moonless night on an obscure deck and there was no reflected light, and I couldn't even see the end of my arm. I was quite self-medicated and I thought how easy it would be to end it all right then and there, in that I was quite depressed. No one would miss me nor would even bother to look for me on this particular ship. For a long time I pondered should I or should I not, and somwehow thanks be to God I went back to my cabin,. But from that moment on, I was in a continual state of panic and fear and I never went outside for the remainder of the trip in that that rail was so close. I couldn't trust myself.

WW

Thank you for sharing this deep part of yourself. Have you talked to a counselor or therapist so that you can get some understanding of what occurred? I recommend it plus I recommend the program.

Also, the fact that you CHOSE not to jump is an indication that you can trust yourself.

I think that the feelings of "nobody would even notice or care" is the type of thinking we have at times which is what really gets us down.
I know that once we start to get ahold of the negative automatic chatter and more realistic thoughts are becoming the norm that we gain some confidence.
I have had scary thoughts of dying as well but I know I would never do it. It's so uncomfortable to think these things but thats why we are here. To help OURSELVES get better. I'm grateful for all of you posting here because it helps me tremendously.

Take care
M

Worry.....Im so glad you decided you were worth not jumping cuz I believe it too!!! Life can be tough at times but tomorrow is always a new day. The fact that you are scared of your feelings says that you really dont want to die. And thats a good thing. I also recommend this program to you and online chat as well. You will find your not alone in your thinking. You will also find that others have been where you are and have sucessfully found the way to a bright and happy life.

Were you on a vacation cruise? if so then someone choose to go with you because they DO like you and they DO want to be with you.....your lucky you have those people in your life.

Dont let lifes struggles get you so down...get yourself some good therapy and get yourself the program to help you gain the life skills you need to make life happy again.

I have completed the program and it has been a godsend for me. Life is so much better and I had the control all along. Please give it a try and know that you have people here that are wanting to help you and become your freind so keep reaching out trust me there will always be a hand to hang on too!

Dodger