Stress Center Peer Support

I have often heard this symptom mentioned on some postings and I'm wondering if that's what I was experiencing.

Today, I was working on limitations. I wonder if I did too much? My kids had a 1/2 day from school today and I signed them up at an afternoon craft event at school for 2 hrs. this is the first time I have ever done it. The kids enjoyed it. When we were leaving the building I parked in back of school and had to walk down a little road that had a curve. Well a car came around corner little fast. I was able to pull my son in off the middle of the little road.I had my youngest on the side closest the sidewalk and my oldest right behind me. I did not realize my third son was out so far as he was walking behind me. My oldest son then pointed out mom where walking on the wrong sid eof the road. Thank God nothing happened and everyone was well. I told myself it was a learning experince and everyone was ok. I did obessess over it for a bit but was ablt to let it go afetr about 20 mintues of really working at it.

I dropped the kids to my husband and went to an open house job fair. I have been fairly "excited" (nervous) over going to it. While driving on the highway, a car pulled on to merge right in front of me. Now I had been slowing donwn to let her pull ahead of me. She was not speeding up and I had to pull into the left lane or we would have collided. At the time I used my skills to calm myself and to float through the adrenaline feelings.

I got to the job fair and was feeling little "nervous", I told myself I was still excited. I met with three different nurse managers. It was intense but I was with several other potential employees.

While with the first manager I became fixated on my eyes blinking so much and wondered if she could tell I was nervous because I was trying so hard not to blink. It felt like my eyes were watering. I kept trying to calm myself and say its just anxiety float with it.

The second meeting with a managers went ok I was not fixated on my eyes. I was feeling ok. By the time of the third meeting with the next manager I was feeling really insecure. Some of the potential candidates had extensive background in the position where here I was re-entering the work force after being off 9 years.

This manager told me I was not really qualified for the position but offered some recommendations on what i need to do. By the time I left i was feeling down because I felt rejected. I kept telling myself its ok, I'll feel better when I get home and having something to eat because I was starving.

The drive home felt "weird". It was hard to describe it. I was there in body but feeling ? spacey. I kept wondering to myself am I ok?, was I driving to fast? am I allowing enough stopping distance between the cars, as I had to stop a few times short. I don't usually drive in rush hour traffic in the dark on the highway.

I felt really weird. I know I wans't speeding or driving reckless. But I just didn't feel quite right. Now this didn't cause a panic attack while driving home. I was telling myself to float I was ok. That I was tired and feelking a little down but I was ok. I turned the radio on but felt like that was to noisey, so I shut it off. I did keep wondering to myself was I ok and what was wrong with me.

It wasn;t till I was coming off the highway that I began to have a panic attack about the near accident on the way to the job fair. I was able to use my skills and talk myself down. I came home and ate, hoping to feel better.

Now I am feeling really kind of anxious. My scary thoughts are: was I driving too fast, what if i was depressed and trying to hurt myself or someone else, what if i didn't care and was hoping to drive recklessly, maybe I should have pulled over when the spacey "weird" feelings started but I couldn't because I was on the highway in heavy traffic.

I think I am scarying myself with my what's wrong with me and scary anxious thoughts of am I suicidal and not know it type thoughts. I have experinced this weird feeling once before when I had been doing alot of driving on the highway.

I would like to know if anyone has ever experienced this type of feeling and especially driving. I have gotten over driving with panic attcsk and I don't want to have a new problem with driving. If anyone can offer some insight to this strange feeling I had I would appreciate it because I am feeling overloaded right now.

Thanks. Take care and God bless.

You know how if you stare at a word for too long, it begins to look weird? or if you say a word out loud over and over, it begins to sound foreign? That is what I think derealization is, if we focus too much on what we are feeling then we begin to feel weird.

Yes, I have felt exactly like you. I have obsessed over how I'm feeling way too many times: and each time, I am greeted by the same scary feeling. Telling yourself to "float" with it is a great skill.

I can assure you that you are not alone! Reigning in my negative thoughts was a major turning point with me.

Best of luck to you!

Dear bna,

I completely understand! Me and some friends of mine went to Italy this summer and I was the designated driver (for some reason, they think I'm the calmest of us:). I must say that even though I really love Italy, they drive like maniacs. Anyway, I was driving every day for a week and it was a constant battle with questioning myself if I drove safe enough and definitely that wierd spacey feeling almost all the time. On the last day on our way to the airport I felt so nervous and my heart was pounding so hard I drove to the sideway letting one of my friends drive the last 30 minutes (the whole week I had spent more than 20 hours behind the wheels) and when we got to the airport I felt like a complete mess. I thought I would faint and my body felt like it was walking by itself and my head was completely disconnected (I'm sure it wasn't Finally onboard the airplane, my anxiety level was beyond and I tried to calm myself, but that just didn't work. When looking back I must say I do understand myself a little better. I was a stressful week driving in a foreign country and having a constant battle with mistrusting myself. I have no problem at all driving now, but I know that I am more vulnerable those days I am really worked up because of something else, and I try to give myself some extra comfort and understanding those days. I do trust now that I am a good driver and that I, despite spacey feelings, have full control of what I do when I drive.

It seems as you had a really rough day with a lot of nervous moments, no wonder you felt anxious and spacey! Just give yourself some cred for being so great and doing all of those things in one day!

Best,

H

bna, relax and breath...you had an "anxious" day!! Thats all!!!! I become focused on every word, action, etc. When I'm in my most anxious times. THIS TOO SHALL PASS... Practice your breathing skills!

God bless you and take care
Robin

The one time I post a long reply here it disappears on me - go figure!

Just wanted to say you did great on the highway, everything you were supposed to do. The other person wasn't paying attention - I can tell you pay close attention to detail, honesty, memory and ethics are going to take you very far and will crush another applicant that may have a longer list of "experience".

Interviewers and employers would rather have someone with those sets of values over someone with all that experience and a ho-hum personality or no set of values, sometimes it says they could never stay at a job long enough, and might make them wonder why.