Stress Center Peer Support

I started the 30-day trial on this program... I'll try to make this long-story short..

I have more of a birds-eye view-perspective on my life now as I look back... I've always had anxiety, like everyone.. However, I've always had a highly reactive physiological system... I've always been physically-active.. Here are some vitals: Resting HR: 55-63, Total cholesterol: 110-140, all other lipid levels are excellent, body fat has always been ~7-10%, etc... My only concern is my blood pressure... I don't understand it... It is typically elevated when I'm going through my bouts of anxiety, sometimes when I feel it's fine and feel relaxed it's elevated, other times I feel nervous and it's fine... I've had it checked by nurses, doctors, machines etc... It typically flucuates from 120/60, to as high as 150/80.... My lower number never goes above 80, and the top number flucuates.. I've found out I have a significant family history of mental problems on my dad's side, particularly anxiety/depression... I've never had chronic anxiety to a point where it effects my quality of life until 22... This was my onset of it... It happened one day just sitting in an office in my college's fitness center working, I was in a room alone with a computer and I just began feeling inferior and useless... Long story short, this happens when our minds are free to wonder.. We get spacey and pessimistic... I've always been an optimist by heart and nature... Since then, I've seen a school counselor a couple of times, I currently see a clinical psychologist about once a month.. My mom's insurance only covers 6 sessions per year... From age 22-25, I felt somewhat helpless, some days good, others really bad... Ups and downs, but more extreme than most ppl are accustommed to... However, from 25-28, I got into natural bodybuilding.. I've competed in 5 shows and won some... I am 1 step away from earning my pro card... Now I've taken a break b/c I'm afraid of having long-term joint problems from the demands of intense and frequent training and dieting... However, this break has been somewhat helpful.. I've focused mainly on therapuetic exercises and have signed up to run a 10k, proving to myself and others that I am in the true sense of the word, a Natural bodybuilder and also versatile enough to do other physical activities... I got real deep into natural bodybuilding over the last 2-years.. I felt alive again and everyday was pretty much good... In bodybuilding, one has to be very disciplined and structured.. Routine is paramount.. As you can see, this lifestyle is very anti-anxiolytic... I ate super healthy foods high in antioxidants and low GI... I weight trained 3-4 days a week and cardio 4-6 days per week... Cardio in the morning for 30-45 min, and in the evening, weight training for 45-60 min... Supplements were also beneficial: fish oil, garlic, glutamine, protein powders, green tea, multi-vitamin, vitamin C, potassium.... When I work out, I typically listen to music (my CD player)... As many know, music is very therapuetic and it cognitively-dissassociates and provide a sense of solitude... So my life was pretty routine for the past 2-years, but my Blood pressure was typically 120-130/60-70 during this time... I typically woke up and popped in a motivational DVD like pumping iron, rocky, or some other movie clip that motivated me more... Ate a small preworkout meal, and went to the gym and did cardio, then trained a client... Went home ate another breakfast, prepped meals for the rest of day, did my afternoon-evening workout, had a post-workout high nutrient protein shake, trained 2-3 clients, ate a snack between clients, then trained 1-2 more and had dinner, then before bed, a nighttime protein shake... All was good...

However, this year, after placing 2nd out of 5 in my last contest and almost turning professional, here is a short clip of me in that competition, I'm 2nd from left---> <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UOI8mYFYl0" TARGET=_blank>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UOI8mYFYl0</A>

My max lifts at a bodyweight of 165-168, are:

Bench press: 260

Squat: 405

Deadlift: 420

This year, I got a orthopedic eval, everything is fine, but the physician concurred with my own suspicions and said working on flexibility would be a good idea.. So I've been working on it since then and have been feeling better.. But once I stopped bodybuilding (that mental fix), my anxiety came back strong and I felt withdrawal.. but ever since getting this program, I feel better knowing others are struggling too, but mainly, that this is a team and collective effort among us all... My blood pressure today was 146/77, and with a pulse of 62... *nodding my head... I've been told I have white-coat... If I breath and relax i can knock that down to 130/68 or so... If I really relax completely, which is almost impossible to do during the day, it can get down to 122/65 wit a pulse of still, 62 or 57... so it scares me and makes me wonder if during the day my blood pressure is elevated often... By the way, last night i went out for a run.. I ran my 1st mile in 6:10... Then I rested and ran 2 more miles... It makes no sense to me that my blood pressure is elevated a lot of the time.. .I don't believe it's clinical high blood pressure, i believe its just white coat and anxiety related.. But how do i get rid of the chronic anxiety?? I remember when I was anxiety-free, meaning not having abnormally frequent anxiety, my systolic blood pressure was typically elevated, 140/70-80, and one time as high as 180/70... What is more is that none of the physicians made anything of it really.. I guess they presumed me being young healthy and very physically fit, it was just white-coat or nerves.. I believe this to be true.. I believe that my body is very strong and super healthy.. however, my periodic elevated blood pressure is just a matter of my mind... I've always had a anxious body, my mind was fine before age 22... But after 22, my mind become anxious like me body.. For example, when I had that 180/70 reading, my physician showed concern... I had my BP checked at the nurses station all week after, with controlled breathing and consciously relaxing, it was consistently 120-125/68-70.... Amazing!!! So basically, this proves my blood pressure is not physiological-based, but it is psychologically-based.. However, it could evolve if it continues, which is why im taking this program... Session 2 has made me more anxious.. It's like, this is not unfamiliar to me, ive faced my fears and lived through it, but that doesnt mean you wont become anxious and relive the episode over and over.. there has to be some kind of belief or value attached that makes it real to me... I just dont know what to do... All i know is i will continue with the program..

Hi Ivan28!

You obviously have worked very hard to get to where you are in body building. I sense that you have dedicated most of your time to this. Do you have friends, do you get out to relax and have fun, do you ever let down your hair and show who you really are?

I sense that if your mind isn't totally immersed in something like body building, those thoughts of something being medically wrong come to the surface. If you have been checked out to make sure you are OK, and you believe that you can control your BP with your mind/body do it, but at the same time, relax and be yourself with friends, acquaintances, and relatives. Get your mind off of yourself and on other things. I have personally found that volunteering is an excellent way to get my thoughts off of me and onto something else which adds value to our world. What about volunteering at a rec center and teach some teens about natural body building? You may save some kids from getting into drugs and gangs, along with making themselves healthy and their bodies beautiful! Don't overdo it though. A couple hours a week would be a good start. Don't put pressure on yourself (like you usually do). I know about this because I would do the same thing.

I hope this gives you some ideas...and helps a bit. Stay in touch and let us know how you are doing....

Yes, I have dedicated most of my time to it.. My way of balancing is going out on the weekends and dancing, meeting ppl, etc... Um, i still have my safe zones though... My safe friend, place etc... I'm a personal trainer, so when I train my clients, I take my mind off myself and focus on them.. That relieves anxiety at times... However, I like giving time to myself, so much, that I typically workout before I train my clients.. Otherwise, im anxious and that's not cool for me... Volunteering, well, I'm not so sure about that, I need to make money first before I can volunteer.... At least that's my rationale... Well, maybe that's wrong.. B/c if i have 2hours to sit here and do this, I could be volunteering.. but the problem is, i get anxious around ppl... I have sort of a social phobia, not something ive always had... I also sweat under my armpits a lot.. Especially at work during the 1st hour or 2, then i find my comfort zone... It's tough man.. and it really sucks and pisses me off a lot.. But i will do whatever i need to do or at least try in order to get better... If this is a life-long sentence, as Lucinda said in the infomerical, it doesnt have to be, but even if it is, I will die-hard and fight this until the end.. That's my never say die attitude about this.. I love life and ppl too much to let this change my life, although it has already, I wouldnt be here if i didnt have ambitions in getting better..

Are you on any medications that would affect your blood pressure? You could look up the side effects at webmd.com or rxlist.com
Bev

No medications.. I don't smoke and I don't drink... It's a bizarre situation... One of which I am just getting by everyday b/c I haven't come across anyone who can help me.. I'm almost too educated for my own good... The answer is likely what I already know, it's just a matter of finding someone as qualified or more than me to confirm my affirmation...

Logically, the reason my BP is elevated is b/c I have such a good cardiovascular system, in other words, I'm in great physical shape.. The way cardiac output increases is through HR and SV (stroke volume).. SV implicates elevated blood pressure since it refers to the amount of blood ejected by the heart each stroke.. Well the first variable to increase is SV, up to 40% of Max HR, so since I'm in such great shape, my HR remains normal, and my BP goes up... Ironically, I wish my pulse would race and my BP would remain normal.. But this is something that I need to clarify.. Do any of you suffer from elevated BP when stressed? I would think 99% of you do, but why don't ppl mention this as one of the common symptoms? It's always my chest is pounding or my heart is racing.. Well it would be hard to believe that your BP would not be elevated if these things are happening.. Thoughts?

Ivan
I dont in anyway bodybuild, or even take as great a care of myself as you do. IM much older than you, and used to doctors didnt seem to concerned about your systolic pressure. But just last year the National Medical community changed the numbers for good blood pressure.
THey are lower than they used to be now.
Im very small person, 5'1" tall around 108-110 pds, female. However, my family history has high bp running all through it.
i have a 62yr old brother who has been running marathons for the last 15yrs. He has high bp, has no body fat, works out. He take a bp med for his,, as i take bp meds for mine.
My bottom number has never been bad, but my top number is. Its good your doctor is concerned.
Anxiety can cause a short temporary up in your bp, but it wouldnt stay that way. IM 58 by the way and have never been overweight. Its just a genetic thing. I know you may not want to take meds for high bp, but if you are active, and eating right , and doing all the right things, then talk to your doctor, NOT ALL meds, especially those for high bp are bad, because they control it. If this is happening when you are resting, chances are you have high bp.. So, take care of it, and you will feel better:) Nelly

Hello Ivan,
Well I must say that you have yourself pulled together very well first of all but I wonder why your are so pulled together in the first place and strive so hard?? Are you trying to forget the past or just trying to prove to people that you are better then your childhood ?? Are you by any chance OCD??You may want to ask yourself what am i doing all this for who am I really ?? What is it that I want and has something in past caught up with me??
My Husband was a Power Lifter and won many Trohpys but never went on he struggled with so many pulled muscles and pain in knees it was getting older and it is rough on your body and your mind he also went and got checked and found out his Trig.. were 1250 Off ths chart way off his blood was like sludge and now at 42 he is truggling with B/P also same as you his will go up and then back down and he is a perfections and very self controlled and always on a mission and wants 100% out of evrything and everyone he plays in a Christian Rock Band so he asked the Doctor what he should do the Doctor said well in your family you have a history of high B/P his Mom and Dad and now his Brother and he is 39 yrs old my Husband does not drink nor smoke and he is on meds for anxiety , and his TRIG..LEVELS now they are down in great levels.
It seems you may need to ask your family about B/P and ask yourself about your history is there something you have kept in or are you such a perfectionist??You seem very well Eductated and well versed maybe you have pushed so much your body needs a rest and maybe see a Heart Doctor if your Family Doctor doesnt seem to know ok always ask questions and you have right to see any doctor you want and get many options as to what to do ok???
I am on the chatroom if you ever want to come in we can help you alot but know that noone there is a Doctor and we cant give you medication advice but we can tell you what we all have gone through ok?? You are more then welcome to come visit. I do suggest that you do the program all the way I believe it will help you very much and take time relax and have Happy Days !!!!! God Bless you, Ramona aka Moey

Thanks for the replies... I suppose I will need to take BP meds eventually... Yes, there are lots of things in my past that have effected me today.. I don't know what else to do... I have taken a break from the training and competition for the last month, but I'm still not 100% better yet physically.. But I will say this, I can't see myself living the life I want without having something great happen... I'm sorry but this is the truth... Perhaps I won't lift as heavy and just bodybuild and sculpt my physique.. But if I still have joint problems etc, that's not my problem.. I'd rather know I've lived than to never have lived at all... Why live in my older years pain-free (to some degree) and not have those 5-10 years of complete sense of happiness and accomplishment? So I say, I'd be better off competing as long as I can AND living my life to the fullest for me... It's hard to partition whether my concern for long-term joint health is smart OR my anxiety... We are biased to know when our thoughts are rational or irrational b/c we have anxiety... So my next best guess is, I will compete in this show 12-weeks from now, I will lift for higher reps and moderate weights AND if it still creates muscle imbalances, joint issues etc, I don't care, b/c It's just bunch of BS considering I've taken 5-weeks off to do nothing but lower trap, rotator cuff, shoulder stability, yoga, stretching, PNF stretching, massage, foam rolling, terminal knee exts, birddogs for lowerback stability, glute-hip stretching, vibration training for shoulders and knees, core training, using the jacuzzi, using proper body mechanics 24/7, maintaining good posture daily (shoulders back and down, head neutral), taking reputable joint supplements such as fish oil, glucosamine sulfate, etc... I've done everything right, and I will continue with prehab exercises until my body re-aligns, but with any form of training, certain things will change.. It is inevitable, unless you are the 1% perfect specimen... I'd rather take my chances and not let my anxiety effect my choices.. Am I being imprisoned by the need to accomplish and overachieve with bodybuilding, sure, but it's better than the alternative, unless I'm proven otherwise with this program and the continued support, growth and compassion to live a relatively anxiety-normal life... Otherwise, I'm sorry but I'm going to go for it... At least that way, I may have joint problems (I probably won't have any serious kind, but most ppl will have some kind of issue just from normal wear-and-tear anyway), but it beats the alternative of having wear-and-tear from being sedentary.. With anything, there are goods and bads... With exercise, there are so many goods, but very few bads.. One bad is wear and tear... Overall, exercise is good.. And if there is any kind of good obessession, exercise is the closest thing to it... So I'd rather say, "In your face anxiety, at least I became a professional natural bodybuilder with a PhD and etc etc., and have pictures to prove this amazing success and accomplishment, so that way, ppl will see that in spite of my mental shortcoming, it didn't stop me from achieving anyway!"

Also, one of my favorite movies is "A beautiful mind." I can relate to it just b/c he had such a beautiful mind in it's intellect, yet he was also paranoid.. I will check out your support groups etc.. Thanks for your help.

Did you see my video above???

Here is a short clip of me in that competition, I'm 2nd from left---> <A HREF="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UOI8mYFYl0" TARGET=_blank>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3UOI8mYFYl0</A>

It motivates and inpires me everytime I see it... This show I'm doing in 12-weeks is just for me.. I will not lift as heavy or crazy, but I will train hard enough to do well.. I should place in top 3-5 and get a nice tropy etc... I may actually win though and turn pro... You never know in these shows... I'm learning as I go... I will train smarter and not place so much pressure on myself.. Maybe taking a year-off of lifting real heavy is smart, but in order to stay interested and invested in life happiness, I need to compete at least.. Those who come in really defined always have a chance at winning.. So instead of trying to get bigger (lifting heavy), I will concentrate on becoming more defined and posing better... If I turn pro then I will be elated.. But then later on, when I'm ready, I'll have a more informed decision to make in regards to adding mass or not... But for now, I'm trying my best to stay positive and set goals for myself...

Ivan28

I think your goals and your self-discipline are awesome. With such high standards you also get anxiety and I think , just by reading your post, that you just need to relax with as much drive as you have with your bodybuilding. You might've mentioned this in your post, but don't serious athletes like yourself have higher blood pressure sometimes...??? I mean, I thought I read somewhere where marathon runner's do. Anyways, do the relaxation tape with this program consistently, the tape on expectations will be good for you too and continue to excel in this field. Enjoy the health you have and most of all have fun along the way, because, like Lucinda says, sometimes the best part of achieving your goals is the road you take to get to them.