Stress Center Peer Support

hello all. I am just getting my feet wet in session two. What a better time than a day I anticipate possibly running into someone who has caused me anxiety in the past. I will be at work and the person a former coworker who just was someone who I should have not gotten involved with in my past, but obviously I had to learn that lesson on my own. I know that this person will possibly show up at my work tonight. Wish me luck!
Anyone have situations like this happen to them? If so, any recommendations? Thank you!

Hi Mcsmitheslc-

I understand about having to use your skills in a relationship. My biggest test will be when I have to confront an emotionally abusive step-mom that I've been avoiding except in a "non-commital" way. I'm dreading having to talk to her, but need to for mine, my kids' and my dad's sake.

I don't know yet what I'll do so I can't give you advice. But, I can give you a wish for success and calm focus as you deal with this person and use your new skills.

I wish you great luck and peace as you do this and accomplish this journey. -J

It's tough to give advice on this one.

I'm a STRONG avoider. I'll walk across the street if I see someone coming, even if we don't have something "strange" between us...but even more so if we do (or did).

You say this is in the work environment. Can you plan ahead of some little kindness that you could say to this person just to break the tension and the ice? Even just a half-heart-felt "good to see you" might go a very long way to make the situation less tense for BOTH of you.

Close your eyes and think to yourself for one moment how the OTHER person might possibly be feeling knowing they might be seeing YOU. Now, try to put the past aside and think of that small social kindness that you could say. Perhaps you'll shake hands. Perhaps you could just say "hi" but have a slight smile on your face.

I would think you'd BOTH relax a bit if one of you (which is YOU) makes the effort.

Also, sometimes I try to put my life in compartments. My personal life and my work life are in separate compartments. So I may see someone at work I was intimate with the night before, but I only view them in the work compartment and don't dwell on our social relationship. (I'm not recommending this, and I don't at all recommend getting involved with work -- but life happens <wink>).

Thanks both. It's good to hear input. It's good to hear encouragement and advice.

I'm pretty sure the person won't be happy to see me since he knows he hurt me in the past, so it will be strange mutually. You see, I caught him cheating adn called him on it, so that's why this is so hard. I learned the hard way of not getting involved with anyone that you once worked with.
I think avoiding him may be the easiest thing to do, but should I? I know they say that it is bad to run away from your problems, but I just fear I may not be able to handle it.

Yay! he never came after all. I was actually pretty clam through it all. Thank you all!