I am too scared to take care of my kids. Am I crazy?
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Guest
Hi Sarahall:
Is there anyone who can help you with your children until you can get a handle on this anxiety?
Sometimes we do have to have a little help.
It is nothing to be ashamed of.
I guess your fears are overtaking you.
If you can, get some help with the little ones.
I say If you can, because when my 3 were little there was no help around. I could have used some once in awhile.
MJ
Is there anyone who can help you with your children until you can get a handle on this anxiety?
Sometimes we do have to have a little help.
It is nothing to be ashamed of.
I guess your fears are overtaking you.
If you can, get some help with the little ones.
I say If you can, because when my 3 were little there was no help around. I could have used some once in awhile.
MJ
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Guest
Thank you for reading my post. I have asked for help and the local Babys Cant Wait case manager is going to help me find a parenting mentor or some parenting classes because I just don't know what to do. I think that is where my anxiety comes from - not knowing what to do. My kids have no rules and no boundaries and I have behavior issues on my hands. I have to get it under control. My son has special needs. We do have a babysitter that comes on Wed. nights so I can go to church. I rely heavily on my husband. He understands when I need some Xanax to calm down. I will know more soon about what help is out there. Thank you cornflower for listening.
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Guest
When my son was a baby I had to put him in daycare while I got my anxiety delt with. He was only 5 months old and I couldn't handle being at home alone with him due to my anxiety. I tried many meds and therapy, but Lucinda's Program was the one thing that help me. My husband ordered it for me and it saved me. I didn't have any family or friends to rely on except my husband. He was taking me and the baby with him to work until his boss put his foot down. Then we had to put the baby in daycare and I felt so horrible that I couldn't be a mother. But within time, I was able to overcome the anxiety and be a mother to my son. We had a very understanding daycare lady who knew the situation. So as I was recovering from my anxiety, I would begin to come get him if I was having a good day. Over a few months I grew stronger with the attacking anxiety program and now I am doing so well that my husband can even go out of town for a whole week and I'm just fine on my own.
So don't feel alone in being overwhelmed with kids. It happens to lots of people. Sounds like the parenting advise you are going to get will help alot. For me, I just felt so overwhelmed with the responsibility that I couldn't deal with it at first. Even though we love our kids, it is a big resposnibility and can be a bit stressful. You will overcome this, and hopefully just knowing you aren't alone it how you feel, you can feel a bit better.
So don't feel alone in being overwhelmed with kids. It happens to lots of people. Sounds like the parenting advise you are going to get will help alot. For me, I just felt so overwhelmed with the responsibility that I couldn't deal with it at first. Even though we love our kids, it is a big resposnibility and can be a bit stressful. You will overcome this, and hopefully just knowing you aren't alone it how you feel, you can feel a bit better.
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Guest
Hi,
I have a son with severe autism who is now 12. It is amazing how common it is among mothers to have fear when bearing such an overwhelming burden of caring for a special needs child. I don't have any advice, but just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone, you aren't a bad mother, and I think those classes and support will help you feel more confident.
Take care,
luvpiggy
I have a son with severe autism who is now 12. It is amazing how common it is among mothers to have fear when bearing such an overwhelming burden of caring for a special needs child. I don't have any advice, but just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone, you aren't a bad mother, and I think those classes and support will help you feel more confident.
Take care,
luvpiggy
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Guest
I think it is very normal for all parents to be where you find yourself today. Continue to search for resouces that are available to help you learn how to cope and manage your situation. I also want to caution you on your use of Xanax as I am currently withdrawing from this medicine after taking daily doses for a year. I have been very sick since I started the withdrawal. I urge you to read as much information on this drug. Do take care and find a place in the day to call your own.
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Guest
TO Stoic,
About what you said about Xanax is interesting because i am allowed to take 1 pill twice a day 1 mg but I end up taking 2. I asked my doctor for more but he is sticking with the one pill twice a day. Is it a really horrible experience not taking Xanax? How did you decide that you needed to stop. What is withdrawl like?
About what you said about Xanax is interesting because i am allowed to take 1 pill twice a day 1 mg but I end up taking 2. I asked my doctor for more but he is sticking with the one pill twice a day. Is it a really horrible experience not taking Xanax? How did you decide that you needed to stop. What is withdrawl like?
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Guest
SaraHall,
I also had an absolutely HORRENDOUS experience with xanax. I hate to scare anyone, and I know that it works for some people, but I took only a minimal dose and ended up having withdrawal symptoms whenever the dose wore off, horrible break through attacks where my body went into to shock, etc. This was in 2001, and at the time, I had just moved to a new town where I didn't know had horrible mental health care. My symptoms were ignored, and I was told "It's just your anxiety" and to actually take more of the xanax. In my situation, I had to come off it without a doctor's help, and any time I worried about it and tried to consult a physician they would tell me I was "crazy" for worrying about it. Now, if I go to any doctor here and tell them of my experience, they will believe me and validate me, so what made my situation so traumatic was that I didn't get the validation. I always use the analogy that it was similar to being given chemo, having side effects from the chemo and then being told "it's just YOU!" It was really hard to get over that, still is sometimes, but I am mostly over it now because the truth about what can happen with xanax is now publicized.
So, I'm not stoic and I'm sure Stoic will have advice, and I'm not telling you not to take the xanax, but I would be very cautious. Again, I was taking a small dose, and my body immediately screamed that it wanted more just for me to feel one moment of peace. It just reacted to it for some reason. I would say that if the amount that the doctor prescribed isn't enough for you, that that is a sign that something could be wrong because you have easily built up a tolerance to it. If you choose to get off of it, SLOWLY and UNDER A DOCTOR'S SUPERVISION is the name of the game.
Sorry to butt in, but just wanted to share in hopes that it could help you in some way. Also, I'm not trying to scare anyway that xanax works for. Just be cautious with it, and it really isn't a good long term solution, especially by itself with no other interventions. I wouldn't recommend that for anyone.
Take care,
luvpiggy
I also had an absolutely HORRENDOUS experience with xanax. I hate to scare anyone, and I know that it works for some people, but I took only a minimal dose and ended up having withdrawal symptoms whenever the dose wore off, horrible break through attacks where my body went into to shock, etc. This was in 2001, and at the time, I had just moved to a new town where I didn't know had horrible mental health care. My symptoms were ignored, and I was told "It's just your anxiety" and to actually take more of the xanax. In my situation, I had to come off it without a doctor's help, and any time I worried about it and tried to consult a physician they would tell me I was "crazy" for worrying about it. Now, if I go to any doctor here and tell them of my experience, they will believe me and validate me, so what made my situation so traumatic was that I didn't get the validation. I always use the analogy that it was similar to being given chemo, having side effects from the chemo and then being told "it's just YOU!" It was really hard to get over that, still is sometimes, but I am mostly over it now because the truth about what can happen with xanax is now publicized.
So, I'm not stoic and I'm sure Stoic will have advice, and I'm not telling you not to take the xanax, but I would be very cautious. Again, I was taking a small dose, and my body immediately screamed that it wanted more just for me to feel one moment of peace. It just reacted to it for some reason. I would say that if the amount that the doctor prescribed isn't enough for you, that that is a sign that something could be wrong because you have easily built up a tolerance to it. If you choose to get off of it, SLOWLY and UNDER A DOCTOR'S SUPERVISION is the name of the game.
Sorry to butt in, but just wanted to share in hopes that it could help you in some way. Also, I'm not trying to scare anyway that xanax works for. Just be cautious with it, and it really isn't a good long term solution, especially by itself with no other interventions. I wouldn't recommend that for anyone.
Take care,
luvpiggy
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Guest
Oh, I also wanted to explain what withdrawal was like. The symptoms are similar to the most severe panic attack you could ever imagine, but that times 100. High blood pressure, a high heart rate, jelly legs...I can't even describe it, but it is not JUST a panic attack. When I say my body went into shock, I mean that I am an oily skinned person who needs to wash my face every day, etc, but during the height of my withddrawal, my skin was bone dry! I was dehydrated even though I kept drinking water. There was a time when I couldn't eat or sleep or drink and I couldn't comprehend what I read or what was on television. I went diarrhea on myself several times and I had no type of stomach virus. I felt a constant burning sensation in my body. Sometimes, it felt like I could feel my bones knocking together. I would get these horrible stomach pains of anxiety where it felt like anxiety bubbles were rising from my stomach up into my brain. At my worst, I went to the emergency room completely out if it with a heart that raced for hours. A doctor came in to tell me it was just my anxiety, and she finally noted that I was dehydrated. I had been there a few days before when my skin was bone dry, and they did a blood volume on me and said I wasn't dehydrated and this time she said, "That's the last symptom before you die so that doesn't mean you aren't dehydrated." I literally couldn't talk sometimes, and rambled. She gave me a larger dose of xanax for my anxiety. At first, I took it, and I was happy. My husband took me home, and I thought, "I can just sleep forever." When I got home and laid down, I thought I was asleep and dreaming about nurses talking, and then my eyes shot wide open and I was not only awake but extremely hyper. The xanax had given me hypnogogic auditory hallucinations, and I was sure I had now went psychotic! I was in an absolute dream state, etc. It was the most horrific experience of my life:(.
I just want to let you know that it was the Xanax, and I know some of my descriptions are bizarre and scary, but they are the descriptions of someone going through withdrawal. If someone detoxing from heroine gave those descriptions, we would get that, and an anxiety medication shouldn't cause that for anyone. No one deserves what I went through, least of all a mother who is just trying to do the right thing and take care of a special needs child. Anyway, I just wanted to say that now it has been validated by the medical community that it was the Xanax. However, see how I still feel the need to prove it because being told it wasn't the xanax at the time was so traumatic for me:(. I just don't want that to happen to anyone else ever again.
I just want to let you know that it was the Xanax, and I know some of my descriptions are bizarre and scary, but they are the descriptions of someone going through withdrawal. If someone detoxing from heroine gave those descriptions, we would get that, and an anxiety medication shouldn't cause that for anyone. No one deserves what I went through, least of all a mother who is just trying to do the right thing and take care of a special needs child. Anyway, I just wanted to say that now it has been validated by the medical community that it was the Xanax. However, see how I still feel the need to prove it because being told it wasn't the xanax at the time was so traumatic for me:(. I just don't want that to happen to anyone else ever again.
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Guest
Getting back to the original post, I too had issues when our second child came along 3 and half years ago. My wife said just this weekend that she felt like a single mother for so long because I was scared of our son. Many things have snowballed from that and now I'm in a terrible fight to save my marriage. Sometimes it can just be hard for us to operate at a normal level and hopefully you have someone that understands that. Take care.