any suggestions for whining kids?

sleeplessMom · Post by **sleeplessMom** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:25 am

OK, so I know I am not supposed to say that my whiny kids are causing me anxiety, I am supposed to say that it is my reaction to the whining that is doing it. But really, how much whining can you listen to? It would grate on anyone's nerves. Sometimes they start before 7:00 am, whining and arguing over me in my bed. And I wonder why my anxiety is so much worse in the morning! My two kids are 4 and almost 8. It's mostly the 4-year-old that every word out of his mouth is a whine. We use the 1-2-3 Magic discipline approach, and he frequently gets "counted" and put in time out for whining, but it doesn't seem to make much difference. It is hard enough managing my own problems right now. I am having a major growth spurt whammy after a year of doing really well. My 4-year-old does get a lot of attention from me, so I don't think that is the problem. In fact, one of my frustrations is that I can't get anything done because I am always playing with him, or he is always bugging me to play. I am open to suggestions. Any ideas?

SeaRunner · Post by **SeaRunner** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:36 am

Oh my goodness....this sounds like my house...my kids are 4.5 and 6.5 and my mornings start with the MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYY! I am divorced so I have my kids 1/2 time which gives me a little break...but the days I have them I can feel the anxiety building up. They also fight me on everything.....this makes me want to explode which makes me feel guilty as they are little.....somedays I have actually put the timer on for 10 mins and told them they need to not call me or ask for anything until the timer goes off. That usually helps me get it together to move on to a better place.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 9:52 am

YES!!!
There is a program called either MAGIC 123 OR
123 MAGIC. Wonderful!!!!!!
I use it at school and with my grandchildren. It works for both. Thank God!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 10:04 am

I use the 1-2-3 Magic but it hasn't made a huge difference....I started using it when the kids were 2 & 4.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 10:19 am

LOL, I'm sorry, but Nana's answer made my day! haha

honeydew3 · Post by **honeydew3** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 12:10 pm

I had a hard time getting started even though I used it sort of. The thing I have the m ost trouble with is keeping me emotions and raising me voice and using too many words. Shutting my mouth is the big key and not showing any emotion. But those kids really know how to push my buttons. It works best when I can just raise the finger for the number they are on. My biggest problem is remembering what number all 20 kids are on!LOL
It works best with my granschildren.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 10, 2008 12:11 pm

Why did it make your kay? Sarcasm or real?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 6:14 am

Nana: The 1-2-3 Magic is great. You'll see from my original post that I have been using it for almost 2 years, and it works well except hasn't helped much with whining. I suppose I need to be more consistent with it...it's hard to have the energy to drag a kid into a time out every 5 minutes, especially if they start before you are even out of bed.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Feb 11, 2008 6:59 am

I found this website when I was doing a paper for my psychology class. It has a lot of useful information on it. Maybe it will be helpful. <A HREF="http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T063900.asp#T063500" TARGET=_blank>http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T063900.asp#T063500</A>
If it doesn't take you right to the article on whining I think the links are Discipline and behavior/bothersome behaviors/ whining. Also is there a way that you can get a break for a little time to yourself? One thing that helped me when my children were younger was to trade babysitting with a friend. Preschool might be helpful too if that is an option. It could give you a little break and break some of the monotony for your preschooler.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:52 am

I have been using the 123 Magic book the past couple of months and after reading all the posts I realized there is a lot less whining in the house. I have 4 boys ages 10 down to 3. I never knew that temper tantrums would continue throughout childhood in different stages. Of course as I started posting, my 3 year old comes to ask me something, which the answer was no. "Mommy, can I watch..." "No, tonight is movie night..." cry and whine and asking mommy "Pleeeeaaaaase" I said, "You really like that show, don't you", "Yes, may I please watch it", In a friendly, silly mommy voice "Noooooo, you just watched it the other day. You may watch it next week" sniffle, sniffle, asking again to watch it today..."Oh, you don't want to watch it next week?" "I do" and off he went to play.
I didn't think counting was the best way to handle that. I also use Dreikurs techniques found in the book Children: The Challenge by Rudolph Dreikurs, M.D. This has helped me with a lot of issues as well.
I have to find a way to get my 10 year old going in the morning without being told over and over again to the point of my yelling "YOU"RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR THE BUS....!!!!"
Motherhood sure is an adventure in learning self control.