Postpardum depression

Theres_hope · Post by **Theres_hope** » Wed Dec 10, 2008 2:35 pm

As a first time parent i thought everything was going to be find. My first child I was excited and happy, after the first month I started feeling really depressed and not attached to him at all. I started having panic and really bad anxiety attacks when left alone with him. One night I stayed up and was suicidal because i couldnt figure out why i was feeling this way. I ran across the commerical for this and started my research on this program. I can say this program brought me from a dark place to seeing the light again. I just want all the first time mothers to know there is hope, and no you are not going crazy!!!! For so long I thought i honestly was... I want to try and reach out and help other new moms!! You can heal and be your self again!!!

calmchange · Post by **calmchange** » Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:09 pm

thank you so much for this post! its like god sent..! i have a child already but never expereince depression after birth however had alot of anxiety during pregnancy. after about year after the birth of my child i developed anxiety disorder and pure O. i'm nearly recovered however, i'm pregnant again and scared that things are going to get worse AGAIN!! i'm hoping my skills get me through this..! i would really love it if other mother who survived pregnancy can be on this forum to support ppl like me..! i read old post about women and the problems and victories during pregnancy and there is nothing after..! i always wonder how they are now..! if your reading this and are a vetran please post!! and once again..THANK YOU so much "theres hopes" because your story has given me hope!

Yellow Rose · Post by **Yellow Rose** » Thu Dec 11, 2008 1:52 pm

I had a baby 4 months ago and wow was my anxiety high during pregnancy and had that post partum as well. I still have days where I don't feel close to my baby and just have to work on not beating myself up about it. I will see my mom with my son and feel like such a bad mom cause she is like all into him talking to him cooing at him playing with him. When I am alone at home with him I've got him in a swing and doing the housework and feel guilty when I am around her--like should I be spending every waking moment playing with him like that? I keep telling myself--Mom was like me when I was a baby--she had to get the housework done, supper cooked, etc. She is older now and retired and has the time to play. I tried for 9 years to get pregnant and wanted a baby so bad and now it's like OMG what have I done! It's not easy. But I have talked to other moms and they laugh at me and tell me that it's normal. I get a cabin fever type feeling because my hubby and I been married for 12 years and I worked and now am staying home with the baby and don't know how to act. LOL It is such an adjustment. I am 32 and hubby is 37 get to feeling like we are too old to be doing this. We'll probably be the oldest parents in Little League! LOL

weeshcabob · Post by **weeshcabob** » Fri Dec 12, 2008 2:14 am

I think a lot of the postpartum depression and anxiety you feel (and I felt it too) is the enormity of giving birth and raising a child. I felt very overwhelmed with the responsibility of my 1st child (at age 30 & single). When my disability ran out and I had to face the inevitable going back to work I just couldn't do it. I felt that I had given birth to this innocent child and I am now having to put her in day care at 3 months old with someone that's not her momma?? I chose to work only very part time and negotiated with my mom to babysit, and the county of Los Angeles (a la food stamps). Sure I lived below the poverty level for 10 years, but my baby girl and her brother who came 2 years later(same father)are well adjusted, happy members of society. That was 18 years ago. The time goes by so fast. You will have days that you think you can't take another day (like when they have ear infections on top of eye infections, on top of rashes), and it will be stressful---but learn to be flexible, to let go, to enjoy the moment, to not make a big deal out of everything, to apologize early to your child when you act inappropriately, let them know that you are human too, let them know that you cry too, let them know that THIS WILL PASS and mommy will feel better.

MollySK · Post by **MollySK** » Fri Jan 02, 2009 6:45 am

Hello new mommies and mommies,
well I just got back from my dr and he diagnosed me with post partum depression. He also gave me paxil which I am terrified to take! I read all the side effects and that scared me to death! I've been having scary thoughts about hurting my baby and I know that I would NEVER do anything to hurt her and after talking to my pharmacist it made me even more terrified to take it. I honestly do not want to take it if it's going to make any thoughts worse or make me act on them eventhough I know for a fact that I would never hurt her, but that silly little "what if" keeps coming back. I've been going back to my program and it doesn't seem to be helping much...

Nole · Post by **Nole** » Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:57 am

Molly,

I was afraid of the meds too, but I took them and I am soo glad I did, there were some mild SE, but after 2-4 weeks I felt sooo much better. I take 10mg of Lexapro and I feel like myself, have been on itg for 9 months. I too was having thoughts about hurting my child (but I knew I never would) but I worried about those thoughts so much it put me into a panic.

Try the meds, you will be fine, take it one day at a time, and give them time to start working, it takes time, have patience and before you know it you will start feeling better

MollySK · Post by **MollySK** » Tue Jan 06, 2009 10:29 am

Thanks Noelle.
Actually I called my herbologist and hollistic care giver and they recomended Vitamin B, Macca and yoga. I've really noticed a difference and I love playing and snuggling my daughter again. I feel like me again without Paxil!

formyboys · Post by **formyboys** » Wed Jan 07, 2009 4:22 pm

It was so great to read all your posts. Its been 12 years in two weeks that my first child was born and I suffered greatly with postpardum depression. It was severe. As I look back, I wish so much I would have enjoyed the moments it seemed impossible then to do that. The scarey thoughts all but consumed me. However, I want you to know there is such hope. I did not know of this program then perhaps it was not even around....how I wish I had it then. But, doing this program, exercising and just be around people that are supportive and loving will get you through this. I wish you all special moments that you will look back on. I know so well the feeling of having your first baby and not understanding how anything or anyone good still that joy like postpardum did. I thought that was going to be the best time of my life and it was one of the hardest. But, today I look at my almost 12 year old son and am so thankful for him. We are very close and bonded and partly I feel that is due to my appreciation of him. Without post pardum depression perhaps I may not have had that appreciation as much as I do now. Blessings to you all.