Hi Little Italy,
I am going to take off my preaching hat and put on my tough guy persona. When my son was your son's age he tried something similar. I never spanked my son, but as he got older he tried me one time to many and just with my fore and middle finger of my right hand I caught him just right between his ribs, when that happen I did a simple leg sweep while grabbing his shirt collar and down he went. I had him under control and made sure he did crash to the ground t hard. He was 16 then. He never tried anything any more with me. I then picked up by his belt and he was so shocked that he was like a little lamb.
I took him out to the car and we went for a ride. Nearby our home, was the state prison, and I told him that if he continued on this path of disrespect, not just to us, but anyone, he would surely end up in prison. If you don't care or respect any of it would be a sure he would learn it there.
I think that if you found your way on a drive that was just you and him, on the premise that you have a special surprise, and show him what disrespect leads to, it will be a shocking revelation to him, and you could avoid any physical confrontation that is sure to follow, in later years, if he continues on this path. He is testing his boundaries and your patience.
If you can't take him on that ride, because of your illnesses, maybe you have a brother or dear friend that would be glad to do that. Take him on a safe ride to all the bad places in your area, so he can see the thugs, and will be his company if he should end up in jail.
Have him see places like, biker bars, red light districts, even crack houses. These are harsh realities of life. If I had done that when my son was 14, and he was first testing his boundaries, that incident where I got physical with him would not have occurred.
Of course, I felt bad that I had to get rough with him, but if he got any bigger or stronger, as he is now, I never would have stood a chance of being in control of that situation. My son now loves me with all his heart, and now that he is 35 and raising kids of his own, he can appreciate the reality of what I was trying to help him see.
I grew up having to be a tough kid. During my life time, I face life and death circumstances that would shock the hell out many people here, but I'll tell you this; don't go for the fluff stuff in the matter of reining in a potential time bomb.
Some folks here tried the loving approach, and I am telling you, when it comes back to bite you, it is not going to be nice. You don't want to have to resort to call on the police to help rein in your kid. Most cops were once tough kids, and they will let folks that take a soft approach know it. Almost all of my cousins work in law enforcement, but I was a smart a- - that could run like the wind.
You don't have to beat your kid physically, beat him with your wit, and you will regain control. Okay, I can put on my kindlier preacher cap now. I am like the priest of boys town; formerly a young street thug, that God took, broke down and replaced a lot of my hardness with a tender heart.
I'll see if I can pm you and you can tell me if its okay and you can handle the horrors of the street life. I have some stories, I don't want to plaster here, because it may cause some folks here to have scary thoughts. Mine weren't thoughts they were real in fact they were real at least 15 times. All I can say is that God was watching over me and He must have something important for me to do, because I should have been long gone.
I hope this helps.
