New baby and 3 year old is showing major anxiety

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MacyOliver12
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Joined: Thu Jan 28, 2010 9:34 am

Post by MacyOliver12 » Thu Jan 28, 2010 2:43 am

I just had our second child on Jan 18. It was quite a traumatic birth - emerg c-section. Me, baby and DH were in hospital for 3 days. Our 3 yo daughter was at our home with grandma and grandpa. On day 3, she started vomiting and being very withdrawn. We thought she had the flu. Next day, we had to take new baby to hospital by ambulance due to respiratory distress. He was hospitalized for 3 days and either me or DH stayed at the hosptial. One of us came home each night with our daughter. Each day we brought her to the hosptial during the day. We have been home since Sunday and have tried to return to normal. I suffer from major anxiety and OCD and have been really suffering lately. The hormones, lack of sleep and stress about my daughter have just about sent me over the edge. I feel I'm hanging on by a thread. Last night, we had had a fairly good day. We put DD to bed and hubby went to work for a couple of hours. I was washing my face and had the water running. I couldn't hear DD crying. I went in her room and she threw up several times all over her bed. She was so upset. I cleaned her up and DH came home. Her spirits were fine and I really feel this is her nervous reaction to our changes. She absolutely adores the baby and is always showering him with kisses and hugs. I'm so concerned for her. I don't know what to do. She does have a history of separation anxiety - I couldn't ever leave her at the daycare when she was about 11 months. She would get so upset, she would projectile vomit. I'm sorry I'm rambling, but does anyone have any advice or suggestions.

Thanks,

Guest

Post by Guest » Thu Jan 28, 2010 4:17 am

Sounds like life to me! Your daughter will adjust to the new comer. My son was 18 months when his brother came five weeks early, w/ no natural instinct to eat. That meant hours of pumping and coaxing him to eat 10ccs in thirty minutes, projectile vomiting, the max. I thought my older son was being neglected even though I had activities planned for him and he watched quit a bit of PBS. I felt so bad that he was getting the short end of the stick! But you know what, that was my anxiety talking! They are bestest friends now.

My mom had three c-sections and so was unable to lavish me or my siblings with loads of attention while she was recovering, but I don't have any recollection of being neglected or cheated, and certainly love my mother all the more now that I'm a mother and know how she must have felt! Take heart, your daughter will not remember the day you had an emergency c-section, or that she threw up, or that it was confusing to add a new sibling to her family. She's going to remember the love!

Honestly, the throwing up thing sounds like a little tummy bug (withdrawl may actually be her feeling run down) that maybe is taking a little longer to get over than usual. No big deal! You are not a bad mom for not hearing her throw up either. I know quite a few moms who have awoken fresh and alert only to go into their toddler's room to see them sleeping in vomit or diarrhea! And they are fab moms! So are you!

You might talk to your doctor about a mild antidepressant. I had very bad PPD after my traumatic pregnancy and early birth of my son, but didn't realize how bad off I was until some random nurse walked past me at a doctor visit and suggested I had PPD. I cried so hard because I was glad someone thought I was normal but needed a little help. Zoloft helped me enjoy the first year of my son's life and feel better about about how I spent time with my older son. I only stayed on it like nine months, then was okay. If you are already an anxious person, PPD may hit you like a mac truck, so be forewarned and take gentle care of yourself!

Lots of love for your family, and congrats on your newest addition!
Lisa

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