Divorced and having difficulty with alienation.
-
Bob Lasheff
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Sun Apr 26, 2009 2:28 pm
-
Guest
Hi Bob:
I went through a divorce and it is my opinion that it is the hardest thing we'll ever face.
For me , it was a long time ago. And so the pain is gone. But I won't ever forget it.
I married again several years after the divorce and lost that husband by his death. That was a loss and not so easy. However, I must tell you that, for me, divorce was so much harder.
But looking back I can see that a different attitude would have helped me get adjusted to that much quicker.
I think working the program will help very much.
One thing I realize now is that we can be happy on our own. I mean the resource to do so is within us. We need not depend on someone else to help us be happy.
Giving up the children would, of course, be a double whammy! I didn't go thru' that. However, when they were grown they had some tesentments that I'd been so depressed for many years. And who could blame them?? However that emotion of resentment wasn't good for them.
(I think they have gotten over that now - after all they've gone thru' a bunch of that now for themselves and on their own.)
The truth is, Bob, that you have the strength and resource inside you to pull out of this slump and create a life for yourself.
Start by listening to your relaxation tape a lot.
And session by session work on the program.
Practice the skills. Your life will change.
Letting go and letting God helps a lot too.
He is a healer of all kinds of pain. And He truly does love a broken heart.
I imagine that your heart is kind of broke over the children .
But use the skills and get control of the anxiety and you might be surprised. One of these days you might find those children wanting to see you. Be ready.
Wishing you the very best!!!
MJ
I went through a divorce and it is my opinion that it is the hardest thing we'll ever face.
For me , it was a long time ago. And so the pain is gone. But I won't ever forget it.
I married again several years after the divorce and lost that husband by his death. That was a loss and not so easy. However, I must tell you that, for me, divorce was so much harder.
But looking back I can see that a different attitude would have helped me get adjusted to that much quicker.
I think working the program will help very much.
One thing I realize now is that we can be happy on our own. I mean the resource to do so is within us. We need not depend on someone else to help us be happy.
Giving up the children would, of course, be a double whammy! I didn't go thru' that. However, when they were grown they had some tesentments that I'd been so depressed for many years. And who could blame them?? However that emotion of resentment wasn't good for them.
(I think they have gotten over that now - after all they've gone thru' a bunch of that now for themselves and on their own.)
The truth is, Bob, that you have the strength and resource inside you to pull out of this slump and create a life for yourself.
Start by listening to your relaxation tape a lot.
And session by session work on the program.
Practice the skills. Your life will change.
Letting go and letting God helps a lot too.
He is a healer of all kinds of pain. And He truly does love a broken heart.
I imagine that your heart is kind of broke over the children .
But use the skills and get control of the anxiety and you might be surprised. One of these days you might find those children wanting to see you. Be ready.
Wishing you the very best!!!
MJ
-
Guest
I myself have not been through divorce, but this sounds like something that has been addressed throughout the program. You are still living in the past, and you have to find ways to get over it. Of course you won't forget it, but there's either some kind of guilt, anger or resentment lying inside of you that doesn't belong there. You have to move on, before it eats away at you anymore than it has already.
It may be something you might have to address, maybe getting in touch with them and either forgiving or apologizing, this would actually help you through the process.
It may be something you might have to address, maybe getting in touch with them and either forgiving or apologizing, this would actually help you through the process.
-
Guest
bob,
like the others said do that. but you have to forgive the one that has hurt you and that will help you move on as well. many of us have been through divorce. my kids were grown when i went through mine and I moved from one state to where i am now and started over.its been 13 years.don't let it be 14 until you do something about it.how old were the kids when you divorced. they will be old enough soon to want to contact you.always remember that they will want to see you and then things will be better. fist beleive in yourself and if you are in the program do it and see where it takes you. you will be surprised at how many will be here to help you though the rough times.take care and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and God Bless.
don
someone that has been through a divorce and was married for over 30 years and started over and it was the best thing that has ever happend to me.now married and living in the country and retired.
if I can do it then bob you can too.
like the others said do that. but you have to forgive the one that has hurt you and that will help you move on as well. many of us have been through divorce. my kids were grown when i went through mine and I moved from one state to where i am now and started over.its been 13 years.don't let it be 14 until you do something about it.how old were the kids when you divorced. they will be old enough soon to want to contact you.always remember that they will want to see you and then things will be better. fist beleive in yourself and if you are in the program do it and see where it takes you. you will be surprised at how many will be here to help you though the rough times.take care and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers and God Bless.
don
someone that has been through a divorce and was married for over 30 years and started over and it was the best thing that has ever happend to me.now married and living in the country and retired.
if I can do it then bob you can too.Bob,
I know exactly how you feel. It's very hard to deal with, specially your kids. But one other person that you need to forgive is yourself. That was my biggest obsticle, once i learned to do that, things got much easier. I don't know if you ever get over it, lord knows i'm not, but it does get easier. It's like dealing with death, you can heal from it.
Bill
I know exactly how you feel. It's very hard to deal with, specially your kids. But one other person that you need to forgive is yourself. That was my biggest obsticle, once i learned to do that, things got much easier. I don't know if you ever get over it, lord knows i'm not, but it does get easier. It's like dealing with death, you can heal from it.
Bill
ATTITUDE -- The mind is like a parachute...it doesn't work unless it's open!!