I have a son who will be 20 in 8 days. He lives at home. If you can call it that, He uses the house as a weigh station. He has been in school for the past 2 years, been in trouble 3 times for drinking and driving all of which his mother and I have fought to keep off his record. (He now has an interlock device on his truck, or should I say my truck) We have sent him to a therapist for treatment and have him on zoloft and ridilin. He doesn't outright refuse to work, but makes little to no effort to try and find a part time job. even flipping burgers to help pay for his necesities.
My question when do you draw the line? Your concerned about him, but your tired of the situation.
Do I cut him off from the things his mother and I pay for. Car, insurance and phone and any other things we pay for except his medicine.
Anyone with a similar situation or close to his age what can I do to snap the boy back into reality?
DerekM
20 year old son
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Guest
Just curious why you are paying for him?? Is he disabled or physically unable to work in any way? If not is there a particular reason that you would be paying for him. It sounds like he is free-loading off you - give him a deadline - this will help him be self-sufficient, by paying his way you are encouraging him to be dependent on you.
You can also have him pay you rent, even if you were to put that rent in a special account for him, it is important to instill this on him, you won't be here forever.
Also just to add, I'm wondering why you are fighting hard to keep his record clean. If he is an adult, shouldn't he be doing this himself, or at least learning on his own how to do it? You would be surprised how productive people could be when left to their own devices!
You can also have him pay you rent, even if you were to put that rent in a special account for him, it is important to instill this on him, you won't be here forever.
Also just to add, I'm wondering why you are fighting hard to keep his record clean. If he is an adult, shouldn't he be doing this himself, or at least learning on his own how to do it? You would be surprised how productive people could be when left to their own devices!
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Guest
Derek...If you are a Christian, then, the very best thing you could possibly do for your son is to pray!!!
My son scares me riding his motorcycle...He is 25 years old, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, so, I always pray safety and protection around him!!!
He just don't see the danger in the speed like I do...
My son is a quite a bit older than yours, but, it doesn't matter how old they are we still worry about them, and try to help and protect them in any way we can...
I don't know your son's problems...It does sound like he may have a lack of motivation, and that he could be suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder!!!
I have heard of people with this, who can't be still, and also of people, who just can't seem to get motivated!!!
I know a guy who used to take ridilin, and he wanted to sleep all the time!!!
I think there is definitely a fine line to be drawn here...
There are only so much we can do for our children!!!
Shifrah gave some excellent advice here...I am just concerned that your son may not be well and that could be adding to his problems!!!
I pray things get better..God Bless
My son scares me riding his motorcycle...He is 25 years old, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it, so, I always pray safety and protection around him!!!
He just don't see the danger in the speed like I do...
My son is a quite a bit older than yours, but, it doesn't matter how old they are we still worry about them, and try to help and protect them in any way we can...
I don't know your son's problems...It does sound like he may have a lack of motivation, and that he could be suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder!!!
I have heard of people with this, who can't be still, and also of people, who just can't seem to get motivated!!!
I know a guy who used to take ridilin, and he wanted to sleep all the time!!!
I think there is definitely a fine line to be drawn here...
There are only so much we can do for our children!!!
Shifrah gave some excellent advice here...I am just concerned that your son may not be well and that could be adding to his problems!!!
I pray things get better..God Bless