Autism

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 20, 2009 8:24 am

Hi MM:
It sounds like you are starting off with a very good perspective on the diagnosis that has been given you about your son.
I just wanted to encourage you a bit if I could.
I am not greatly knowledgable about Autism.
However, I have a nephew with Asbergers Disease.
He is now 35 years old, or will be soon.
He is probably what they call high functioning.
I thought if I told you some of the things that he CAN do that it might encourage you.
He can drive a car. But his Dad has to kind of watch him with it and caution him at times.
LIke when he needs to change lanes, etc.
And he is really good with the computer. Unbelievably good with it. Also he cooks. My brother will supervise him somewhat but he makes their lunch and cleans up the dishes, etc.
So there are many things that your son may learn to do.
And with your knowing now that he has this he will have a better chance and do even better than my nephew.
I just wanted to encourage you. It sounds like you are doing okay with this.
I hope your wife learns to care for herself also.
You area brave and courageous couple.
Wishing you blessings!!
MJ

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri May 22, 2009 1:53 pm

Mallory,

I appreciate the advice you gave, but I do take a little offense to when you said that the biggest obstacle for children with autism was their parents not knowing enough about it or how to help their children. I am not surprised that you are being taught that in college. I have almost two Master's degrees, and I remember that most of my education classes taught education students to have a negative perception of "ignorant" parents.

I want to let you know that most parents of children with autism are highly educated about autism. If you want to meet these numerous parents, feel free to visit autismspeaks.org and go to their forum and social networking site. I also want to say that although you have taken classes on autism, which is so great and wonderful that you are receiving that training, you have absolutely no idea what parents of children with autism experience on a daily basis. You have no idea how the educational system treats parents. My husband and I are both highly educated, love our son dearly, and my son did receive an early diagnosis, but the educational system failed to give him the intensive services he needed. They kept saying that they were doing it, but they weren't. Right now, my husband and I are fighting the school system to get more services for our son. The law is written in black and white, and the school system is playing many games and tricks to get out of providing those services. I have spent about 40 hours this week using my college education and love of my son to study the law and fight the school to get my son what the law entitles him to.

I hope you can see where I am coming from. I think it's great that you love working with kids with autism, but I am highly concerned about your perception that parents not knowing about autism is the biggest obstacle for children with autism. I hope that you will take the opportunity to interact with more parents of children with autism because you will find that one of the major obstacles for children with autism is an educational system that does not follow the law, and educators who are in the profession for the wrong reasons. Autism is not seen as a medical diagnosis, it is often not covered by insurance, there is no known cause or cure, and the treatment of autism is dependent on an educational system that only requires it to offer fair and appropriate services. In medicine, doctors are to give patients the best treatments, but in education, the services only need to be appropriate which is open to interpretation. You have no idea what it is like for parents of children with autism to deal with an educational system that doesn't have the resources to give children with autism what is best in all states throughout the United States.

I could have misinterpreted you, and the original poster didn't take offense, but I did take some offense. Having a negative attitude toward parents of children with autism by assuming that most don't know about autism is first of all an erroneous assumption and secondly, it actually does harm to the child with autism. Please educate yourself to change that negative perception. I could have misunderstood you. I could have posted this privately, but I am concerned that someone who doesn't understand autism could read your statement and assume that many parents of children with autism don't know about it so that's why I am doing this publicly.

I do want to reiterate that I think there is a lot of hope for the original poster's son. I think early intervention is very important, so my statements were not meant to imply hopelessness, but to potentially defend all of the numerous and wonderful parents with children with autism who are usually highly educated about autism.

Take care,
luvpiggy

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 25, 2009 4:13 am

I understand where you are coming from and I am sorry if I have offended you. I do not think that I have a negative attitude towards parents, at all. I actually think that parents who are learning about their child and their needs is also one of the most beneficial things to children with Autism. I have been to many schools doing field experience and the one complaint of teachers, is that SOME not ALL of their parents are not involved and do not practice the same rules and guidelines in their homes. The only reason I said this is because some parents believe that their child should be taken care of at school...and they dont follow up with that at home. I would never think that ALL parents are like that..I am not that closed minded. I have worked with some wonderful parents who were beyond willing, and that sounds like what you and your husband are. Moreover, I dont see where you took offense that I implied that all students with autism have "uneducated" parents who do not care, and I think that is how you have made it out, that is NOT what I meant. All I was simply saying was that I thought it was great that she was concerned and really looking into it, because there are some parents out there who don't, and that negatively affects the student.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 25, 2009 4:22 am

I have reread what I wrote, and I can see where you might think that bc I did not take the time to explain myself enough, and for that I apologize. I would never want to make anyone think that they weren't good parents or anything like that, because I do understand how tough it is sometimes to have a child with Autism. Furthermore, I think you brought up another big issue which is education for children who are autistic. I know that is another bone to pick bc I agree...some schools are looking to do whatever it takes to get out of doing a little work. No matter how it affects the student..which defeats the entire purpose. I totally understand your aggravation with the system, and I have also seen that side of it too, with parents. I wish you well, and once again that is not what I meant at all, and I am very sorry for offending you or anyone else. Take care!

NinjaFrodo · Post by **NinjaFrodo** » Mon May 25, 2009 8:10 am

Thanks, Mallory:). I knew there was a high possibility that I could have misunderstood you, and I read your post at the end of a very stressful week with fighting the school system. Thank you so much for being so kind and understanding. I'm sure you will be a great asset for children with autism and their families.

Take care,
luvpiggy

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon May 25, 2009 3:24 pm

Thank you luvpiggy, I can completely understand. Once again I am sorry for offending you, I hate doing that! I hope you have a wonderful week!

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue May 26, 2009 12:58 pm

luvpiggy and mallory -- I am sure God is smiling on you both. I love how kind you were to each other. It made my day and I had to comment on it. This is why I love this community.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed May 27, 2009 4:01 am

Thank you ship2shore, That means a lot! That is why I love this community too...everyone is so understanding and kind.