Stress Center Peer Support

My father-in-law is termianlly ill, just released from the hospital, and having trouble understanding what is happening and why. He has severe panic attacks, dementia, hallucinations, insomnia, and well you name it.
I need to know what we-the family- as the "collective care unit" can do to support him and help him understand what is now happening to him. What to do and what NOT to do when he starts the shallow breathing and yelling for help. He seems not to hear or understand us when we try the "In through the nose and out through the mouth" method. His doctors have him on 5 different meds and basically said this is his quality of life and we should make him comfortable.
Please, any advice, suggestions, ideas, or would be appreciated. I'm not sure he could follow the lessons and DVD's. (I used to have the program but my exhusband took it when we split up. I learned so much from them when I tried to support him with his panic.)This was my first thought when we learned he has anxiety.
Thank you!

First of all, Melissa, is your father under hospice care now? That is usually the procedure. The nurse will beable to help you with this - the one that is in charge of his case.

The only thing I can suggest (besides anti anxiety meds which will make him sleep all the time) is to talk very slowly to him and tell him that everything is being taken care of. He will listen to your tone of voice so it is really helpful to keep yourself calm. You need to know that the anxiety will not hurt him. You don't have to get excited along with him. Talk calming and soothing to him. Take his attention away from his symptoms by reading to him or show him items that he can see while you hold them up. Anything will do. Distract his attention away from himself, is what I am trying to say. Often this will be enough to calm him down. If not the ativan or whatever your doctor feels is best will help to calm him down.

It's not an easy thing you are doing. Get all the support that you need to help your through this.