RPanic04,
She's probably going to continue to do those things. As best you can, expect the static and just ignore it. Now is a good time to practice under-reacting to her (like you have been) but also not letting her words get deep inside you and upset you. The things she tells you say more about her than you. She's reflecting her own toxicity. So try to figure a way to visualize her words bouncing off you--like you are in a protective bubble. That may get you through enough of the program to form your life-plan and get a job, roommate, apt, etc. Make those things high priority so you can get away and have the room and space to grow in a healthy manner.
Hang in there! Also I agree with luvpiggy about those 2 books. I've read both in my own quest to separate from my toxic mother. Excellent principles that go hand in hand with this program. BTW I've completely separated myself (successfully) from my mother and her overly controlling relationship. I can't tell you how much better it is on the other side. I'm 43 and finally feel like an adult. So really keep at it, the payoff is tremendous.
Congratulations on starting the rest of your life!
I believe my mother "caused" my panic disorder
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Guest
Thanks for the encouraging words Nana, you are absolutely right.
I never took notice of it until recently that every few months she goes out of town for about a week to visit family and I am left alone, and when she isn't here the difference in me is amazing. I am not "cured" by any means but I wake up happier, earlier, and with more energy. It's hard to explain but I feel much more energetic, it's incredible how much energy is drained out of you while being around a very negative person. When she is here (most of the time) it seems that no matter how many hours of sleep I get I wake up so sluggish and just drag through the whole day with little purpose. I never paid attention to that until recently this past year though, I figured it was just a coincidence before.
I never took notice of it until recently that every few months she goes out of town for about a week to visit family and I am left alone, and when she isn't here the difference in me is amazing. I am not "cured" by any means but I wake up happier, earlier, and with more energy. It's hard to explain but I feel much more energetic, it's incredible how much energy is drained out of you while being around a very negative person. When she is here (most of the time) it seems that no matter how many hours of sleep I get I wake up so sluggish and just drag through the whole day with little purpose. I never paid attention to that until recently this past year though, I figured it was just a coincidence before.
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Guest