How do you deal with the anger and grief that comes when your child is diagnosed

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SaraHall
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 12:43 pm

Post by SaraHall » Thu Jan 28, 2010 5:43 am

My son has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS and I feel so angry. I am mourning my son. Why did this have to happen to my baby? How do you process the feelings that come when your child is diagnosed as special needs? How can you connect emotionally with a child that has special needs? Is there hope? Please help.

Guest

Post by Guest » Sun Feb 07, 2010 10:01 am

When my daughter told me my grandson was autistic I was deeply saddened. However, in that same conversation my daughter told me that it was about moving forward and getting her son the help he needed. I admire the devotion she has in lovingly taking my grandson to all the therapy sessions he needs. Though his progression is slow, I can see that when he looks into his mother's eyes how much love he has for her. Grieving for a loss is normal. However, as a mother of 5 children, I can tell you that there will be great joy with great sorrow. Keep fighting for your rainbows of hope for you and your children. Do take care of you first by loving yourself and getting the information and support you need - the rest will follow.

Guest

Post by Guest » Sun Feb 28, 2010 2:57 am

My son also is PDD. I know what your are feeling. It is hard to have a special needs child. I love my son for who he is. He has many quirks but is so unique and true to who he is. My husband and I have allowed him to be who he is. We allow him to have his quirks and most of his obessions. Some we work on to help him change. It is hard to parent a special needs child, especially PDD or even AS. At times we feel our son is a round peg trying to fit in a square hole. We don't know how he will fit into society but are here to guide him along the way. So many people don't know about PDD or AS and at times makes things harder. I know for my personal experience, I am always learning about PDD. My son didn't like to be hugged but we made sure he had light hugs. Now he will come to us for a hug or sit on our lap (he's 11). At times we just sit and listen to him talk about his obessions. I am so lucky to have such a unique person in my life. I embrace who he is and always working on accepting who he is. It is not an easy journey.

Guest

Post by Guest » Fri Mar 26, 2010 4:14 pm

PDD-NOS
Hi Sara,
I think "knowledge" is power!!! I also believe these "type" of children are actually be a
God-send!!!

Here is a site, which may be of much interest to you!!!

What is PDD-NOS

I am no way undermining your feelings, because I do not have a child with with PDD and I can only begin to imagine what "type" of emotions you are dealing with right now!!!

I am just saying I do know a thing or two about "special needs" children, and I pray that you can trust me on that one...

May God richly bless each of you and your children, as He has me and mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alyzu
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Feb 01, 2007 2:36 pm

Re: How do you deal with the anger and grief that comes when

Post by Alyzu » Tue Aug 16, 2011 10:18 pm

Hi! I'm a mom of 2 kids with Autism. My son was diagnosed 7 years ago, at age 3, and my daughter was diagnosed a year later , at age 2. It is VERY difficult at times, and you need to give yourself time to mourn the child that will never be. In time you will be able to not only accept but cherish the person your son is. But give yourself that time, and be kind to yourself, especially when you are feeling overwhelmed. The stages of grief may be similar to those you feel after losing a loved one. Let yourself feel it all.

My kids have Autism. It's a part of who they are, just like their brown eyes, high energy levels, and ticklish feet.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

life'sgood
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:01 pm

Re: How do you deal with the anger and grief that comes when

Post by life'sgood » Thu Sep 08, 2011 1:46 am

I have a 5 year old with a disability that he was born with. What helped me a lot when he was born was that people kept telling me that he is a child first. PDD is NOT who your son is, it is something he has. I get offended when people say, "special needs children" they are children who have special needs. You wouldn't say, when you see a kid with braces on his teeth, "Oh, there's a braces kid." You would say, more appropriately...that boy has braces, or there is a boy who has braces. i don't know if I am making my point, but your son is the same person you have loved his whole life. Just because he has a diagnosis doesn't mean he has changed. Keep your head up. Talk to other parents who have children who have similar issues. My son has Down syndrome, and something that also helped me was a doctor in the NICU said, "We all have a syndrome." He equated it to personality. We are all different. I am not good in math for example, but I have an advanced degree in another field. EVERY child is different! If your son was diagnosed with Einstein syndrome, you would do all you could to foster and support his developement. I would say, do the same for your son. Most importantly, love him. Tell him how proud you are of his accomplishments. My son is just learning to say the letters of the alphabet, and I AM SO PROUD!!! We get to celebrate the little things. There is so much to celebrate! I hope this helps. Keep your chin up and be your son's biggest cheerleader and advocate!

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