help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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jamiemccool
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2013 11:57 pm

help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by jamiemccool » Tue Feb 19, 2013 8:58 pm

I am a mother of three and have one on the way. I have a 4, 2, 1, year old. my 4 year old back talks and always gets into stuff she is always hitting on her little sister and the kids constantly scream I feel like they r out of control and it makes my anxiety really bad I need some help on what to do I yell at them when they get into stuff or scream and I know kids will be kids I feel like I yell to much I don't want them togrow up thinking im mean or I yell alot

ellenfisher
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2013 9:33 pm

Re: help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by ellenfisher » Sat Mar 23, 2013 12:04 am

Hey Jamie,

I have six kids. The last five I had in just less than nine years, so I know what you are going through! I was going nuts trying to raise them until I read a book suggested by a friend when I called her for help!!!!!!!!!! It changed our life and gave me back my home. It did not help me with my anxiety, this Stress Center program is doing that for me, but having a calmer home and comfortable kids did take that stress and pressure off my back. I created enough stress and pressure for myself and I didn't need any extra. The name of the book is a turn off if you don't have ADD or ADHD kids, but it works for ANY kids. My kids were not hyper-active and it worked great, I mean really great for us! It is basically a very organized time-out method based in positive reinforcement for all good behavior. I used it how it is written in the book and we went from overwhelming to comfortable pretty rapidly. It doesn't work for babies, but your 4 yr old would understand I'm sure and even as young as 2 yrs depending on the kid. That was my experience. As my older ones began to understand what was expected and knew what to expect, the younger ones just fell into it-no sweat and I almost never had to put my three younger ones in time-out at all. I'm not joking and all I can say is that is how it worked for me and some of my friends who used it. It is called Ritalin is Not the Answer by David B Stein. As I said, none of my kids were on ritalin or in any need of it thankfully, but it was written by a Dr. who's kids were on it and he created this method and got them off it. Anyway, just wanted to share.

Keep working this program, too, as you are able with all your responsibilities-cause this program is giving me back my life internally, like that book gave my family back a calm home.

HANG IN THERE! The days are long, but the years fly by! :D Before you know it you'll even be able to sleep again. I used to think that when they grew up all I would do was take naps to catch up on all the sleep I missed. :) Now, with one married, two in college and only three at home with the youngest twelve I don't need a nap-unless my two darling grandkids come over. :D

Best wishes, Ellen

jamiemccool
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Feb 14, 2013 11:57 pm

Re: help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by jamiemccool » Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:24 am

Dear Ellen,
I just read your reply I have cried twice im going through an emotional journey right now since I have had my new daughter march 20 and I want u to know that ur reply was so much appreciated im gonna get the book and try it to see if it will help im willing to give anything a try im so tired of feeling like I yell so much at them im trying so hard not to yell so thank you so much :)

ellenfisher
Posts: 25
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2013 9:33 pm

Re: help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post by ellenfisher » Fri Apr 19, 2013 10:41 pm

Dear Jamie,

Congratulations on your new little girl!!!

With the sleepless nights and fully filled days of caring for your new baby, your other young children, your husband, home and self this is a time that streches we wives and mothers to our limits. I am so glad you have this program and the "time-out" book I mentioned. You don't know what I would give to have had these resources when my kids were so young.

As you find yourself short on time----which is obvious when our children are at these tender ages, remember you are creative and intelligent. You will discover moments to work on your recovery. Be gentle with yourself. As you do something each day, just the basics, just the relaxation cd, just a bit of journaling, just a few pages or a lesson cd half listened to--be proud of yourself and your progress. My very gifted coach in the Stress Program is forever reminding me that it's the slow, steady steps that take us where we want to go. Praise yourself for the fact that you are willing to invest in yourself and your family and you will all reap the benefits for a lifetime! I commend you!

I would like to share one of my favorite verses with you: Isaiah 40:11 He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young. King James Version Holy Bible

When you can, sit down on the floor with them all around you, busy with their toys and such and let the house go for a few minutes, let your expectations of yourself and others slip away for a time and just enjoy the precious present moment for awhile. You will treasure the memory always!

I wish you the very best!

Ellen

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