Stress Center Peer Support

I get really angry fast (fear-based) - for example, when one of the kids wake another up too early in the morning or don't go to sleep at night, sneaking light on - last night I couldn't "calm down" despite self-talk and attempted distraction("just a kid" "they will be fine" "there are brain differences") - took me 1.5 hours before I could finally sleep and then not much and not well. What do I do?

try focusing your self talk on you. Say "i'm okay", "i can't control everything", "i am calm", "i'm allowed to sleep".

I did something similar last night. Yes, child did need some sort of parental guidance. But I flew off the handle. I was not doing this before I started this program, but I knew the frustration (and anger) was there. Repressed. So maybe this is progress. My daughter actually says that I made sense (very kind of her considering the fact that I was yelling -- even swearing). So yes, we can go overboard. And today I feel sick, absolutely sick. As though I have taken 5 steps backwards in this program. But I have to believe that acknowledging the problem was a positive. Over-reacting was not! So we move forward from here. Child is doing fine; I am a mess. I just laughed a little as I wrote that. Hmm. Progress perhaps. Good luck. It can and will get easier for parents struggling with repressed anger as we allow ourselves to feel it -- and change it with positive-talk. Practice, practice, practice.

I empathize. I have been having many crippling health issues, and yet a lack of diagnosis and just years of frustration with dealing with severe symptoms of shortness of breath, lightheaded, heart racing, anxiousness. I had issues with constipation and lightheaded years before what i'm feeling now. I believe, or doctors believe i am having anxiety attacks. Now that it seems I am stressed mostly from my symptoms, I am angry and frustrated. Somewhat scared of my fate. I am being tested for things but well see, everything seems fine so far which is good. Im starting to have these explosions of rage at my son, who is doing what kids do. Not cooperating, pushing my buttons. I am having issues getting my career going and feeling annoyed by that as well but i fear about the lengths when I explode probably just a symptom of anxiety. It would hurt myself before I hurt someone I love. I am totally distraught afterwards. I try to let my mind go blank, relax and sort started this thing where I believe in conditioning my mind and body to relax in these situations instead gritting teeth and balling my fist. I believe if i keep up with this, it will train my body and mind to be relaxed and almost neutral about my sons misbehavior automatically. Just like your body is meant to be frantic during stress for survival purposes. Anyway, it doesn't work out in our world, and we have to teach ourselves to be almost meditative when we deal with unruly children. I feel better after a nights rest but my body's failure to obtain homeostasis is getting in the way of me feeling like myself. If you can improve your methodology and use more than one type of coping mechs than it should work out for you to the point where you don't have to battle it all the time. If you do that for other things in your life, you wont be on edge when your child acts up. The motto I have is that it isnt that serious, and someone else's bad behavior shouldn't dictate the mood of my day and well being. The reality is people who do not struggle with this have the same weaknesses but are in a more stable state so they can handle it more. If you continue to work on your mental stability, you might feel too good to be angry. I am going to start taking coconut oil to regulate my hormones, thyroid, energy and metabolism. maybe you can try it, physical health is mental health.