hoping someone can help

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charlotte1
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2012 10:16 am

hoping someone can help

Post by charlotte1 » Fri Jul 06, 2012 10:38 am

Hi all- I just joined and am looking for support. I"m not exactly sure how the forum works. Is there an active thread that I should be posting on? I have three toddlers (2 still in diapers) and I feel like I am losing my mind. I can say that to most of my girlfriends and of course, they understand and would agree that three kids under the age of three is tough. But, it is much more difficult (impossible really) for me to discuss the life long battle I have had with anxiety and depression. I have been dealing with these symptoms since I was 4-5 years old (mostly OCD, GAD type worry). I look at my three beautiful children and worry about whether they will suffer the way that I have, then I feel so guilty... Having children has truly been such a gift, and I know I should be grateful and feel so blessed (which I do), but I feel I am not enjoying it enough (i.e., the diaper changes, the picky toddler eating, the whining), and then I feel more guilty... I am also working part-time. I spent years earning my degrees and did not want to give it up, but balancing it has been so difficult. I look at other moms and wonder how they do it. I look on facebook at all of the picture perfect families and they all seem to make it look so easy. As I said, my anxiety is not a new problem, and I am taking zoloft and ativan. I have been taking 150 but am considering an increase to 175 or even 200. I'm only taking .5 of ativan. I don't discuss this with my friends (most don't know that I have any problems w/ anxiety). I try to talk with my husband, but he doesn't really understand because he has not experienced this.

coachchris
Posts: 757
Joined: Wed Jun 06, 2012 2:34 pm

Re: hoping someone can help

Post by coachchris » Fri Jul 13, 2012 11:58 am

Hi Charlotte,

Thank you for your post. I hope you got my private message in your inbox. I would really like to talk with you.
You certainly have a lot going on. It is hard enough to have 3 small children and to just manage that but throw on top of it the history we have of negative thinking and adrenalin and life gets very stormy.

I worked part-time until we had our third child. I liked being able to get out and have some adult time but it was tough.

Are you in lesson 3 yet? Just wondering how you are doing moving from a negative to a positive and your thoughts on the lesson.

I hope we can connect over the phone. You can private message me anytime.

Warmly,
Coach Chris

Dixiesmom
Posts: 72
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2011 10:03 am

Re: hoping someone can help

Post by Dixiesmom » Sun Jul 22, 2012 4:51 pm

Charlotte,

Read your post and hoping things are going better for you. As a mom of 4, I can totally understand where you are coming from. While my oldest two are 15 and 11, my youngest two are 2 and 1. It is tough having 2 in diapers, trying to go to the store (or anywhere for that matter) by yourself with them, or even just accomplishing things around the house. I gave up my career when my youngest two where born and am now a stay at home mom. It has been a big adjustment. I have a lot of feelings of worthlessness and hate being dependent on someone else to provide for me. I also went to college and have a degree, but was not really using it in my career. I have hopes of going back to school someday. I love my children and they really are miracles, but it is easy to lose that in the day to day mundane world of dirty diapers. Best of luck and let us know how things are going.

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