Dealing with a chronically ill child

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Medical mom
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon May 23, 2011 10:49 am

Dealing with a chronically ill child

Post by Medical mom » Mon May 23, 2011 10:58 am

My anxiety started when my then 3 year old was diagnosed with a chromosomal disorder. She had already had open heart surgery at birth so this was a second blow to my husband and me. I had my first panic attack driving home from the doctor visit where many of our initial questions were answered. There have been many new diagnoses' in the intervening years. My daughter is almost 15 and is close to having another major heart surgery. I took out all of my stress of this news on my husband and oldest and that's why I started this program. Anyone else in a similar boat? I realized that I have many of the other traits this program talks about and have had them for years, but for me, it was my daughter's diagnosi that turmed the stress up!

Paisleegreen
Posts: 1778
Joined: Mon Oct 25, 2010 5:27 pm

Re: Dealing with a chronically ill child

Post by Paisleegreen » Wed May 25, 2011 5:48 pm

Hi Medical Mom, I don't have an ill child, but I did lose a son to suicide at the age of 15 1/2 and before that had dealt with his troubles with school and fitting in when he was 3 years old. He wasn't speaking yet when he turned 3 years old and eventually was diagnosed with a Language Processing problem and then ADHD and then bullies. So I understand how troubling and stressful a sick or sad child can be.

My anxieties showed up more fully as panic attacks after I weaned off of anti-depressants which I ended up needing to take years ago after many stresses had accumulated and I went into a deep depression. This was way before my son's death. Needless to say, that just caused me to switch up my medication. I never had a Psychiatrist help me as much as Lucinda's Program has or Dr David Burns Feeling Good Mood Therapy books have, as well as CBT.

I hope we can be a support to you as you go through this with your child. Paislee

tbabystroup
Posts: 28
Joined: Sun May 08, 2011 10:53 pm
Location: Ashtabula, OH
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Re: Dealing with a chronically ill child

Post by tbabystroup » Thu May 26, 2011 8:33 pm

medical mom,
1st let me say, my prayers are with you and your daughter!!
I have some experience with sick kids, although not nearly as much as you. My 5yr old was born at 31 weeks gestation and spent 6 weeks in the NICU battling for her life. Then started many more trips to rainbow babies because her prematurity left her immune system susceptible to EVERYTHING but mostly it was always breathing problems! Thankfully by the time she was 3 her preemie-ness (as we call it) had worn off and she's as healthy as a horse now. Then i had her brother, and even they had to force him to come out at 41 weeks he is my sick child. He spends so much time at the drs and ers that they know him by name but they all call him the Lemon (bc if he was a car we'd return him under the lemon law and get a new one)! Rey contracted herpes on his finger when he was 1 week old from (apparently a cold sore can infect a tiny cut very easily), which resulted in 3 weeks at rainbow babies, a few weeks after that we returned for the same thing but after 1 week they let me take him home with a picc line so we could medicate him at home. He also has terrible asthma problems that land us in the er on a VERY regular basis and lately we've had 3 bouts of pnuemonia in him in just 3 months!

So even though my kids don't have a critical problem like your daughter does, I feel for you and understand a lot of the anxiety that goes along with having a sickly child! Add school and work to the equation of sick kids and drs appts. and the stress just builds and builds! (not to mention i have other anxiety issues) I too have had a tendency to take out my stress and anxiety on those around me... the day i took it out on my 5yr old was the day i decided to start seeing a therapist to deal with my anger! that didn't go so well bc in this town they only wanna medicate and that's not the way i personally want to go! after my failed therapy i started reading self help books, and Lucinda's power over panic hit home, so i ordered this series! i really feel that with a lot of work this program can really help us all!!!

I have found that it is crucial to have that one person you can call anytime day or night that you can vent to or cry to!!! there's been many nights stuck in a hospital with my lil man that i have texted my friend iat 2am and just getting my concerns and frustrations heard really makes a difference cuz it helps me feel so less alone!!
i wish you the best of luck in this program and will pray for you and your daughter =)
~theresa~
**Beautiful pictures are developed from negatives in a dark room. so if you see darkness in your life, be reassured that a beautiful picture is being developed!!**

sleepyby8
Posts: 34
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2011 5:01 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: Dealing with a chronically ill child

Post by sleepyby8 » Sat May 28, 2011 5:29 pm

Medical mom, I can so relate to your situation. 13 years ago our third daughter was born premature and very ill. She had surgery before she was a day old. And then at 9 months of age she died of heart failure due to an undiagnosed heart defect. That began my first anxious episode. Since then whenever someone in our family gets very I'll or is hospitalized I again begin an anxious episode....PTSD I've been told.

Three months ago my 16 yr old got influenza, then pneumonia, then mono and is still not back to her old self. You guessed it...another anxious episode and this one has been the most persistent yet. But I started working the program again and have been doing much better in the last month. Seeing our children suffer and dealing with all the what Ifs of chronic illness is emotionally draining and anxiety causing.

I hope you are finding the program helpful....cbt has also helped me and I do take medication. I'm always willing to try anything to feel better sooner.

Best of luck to you.
Carrie

vampireness
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Dec 24, 2013 3:53 pm

Re: Dealing with a chronically ill child

Post by vampireness » Wed Dec 25, 2013 10:50 pm

Hello,

I can relate to your anxiety. Almost a year ago my teenage was diagnosed with MS. It's been a roller coaster. I recently find myself angry. Express my anger. Family recently stopped talking to me over my outburst. I'm trying this hope it helps.

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