I am a single mom of an A.D.D. 5 yr old girl who's biggest challenge is listening to anything spoken to her and a very spirited/stubborn 2 yr old boy. Before I began this program I had been reading books and working on parenting without screaming or spanking. I have notes up all over my house reminding me things like " 1 mean name can erase 100 hugs" "pushing boundaries is a part of toddlers growth...it's natural and should be expected" i even have one that says "put them in their rooms and take a time-out outside mommy!!" ... and these were actually helping! I was doing a lot better about not yelling and threatening all day, BUT then I started this program and all my progress with my kids has evaporated... I really think I'm yelling more now than ever before, and I have been so frustrated with my daughter's inability to listen and follow simple directions that I actually screamed at her for being stupid yesterday (GASP!!)! I felt soooo bad after those words came raging out of me, and I did go to her room once her and I both quit crying to apologize to her, but I still feel rotten!!
It sure seems that the more I try to work on my issues the more my kids suffer from it... is anyone else having MORE anger issues since starting this program?!?!?! I am actually on session 4 now, but I'm still plugging away at session 3 as well, because the more I am aware of my negative thoughts the more down on myself I get! I am doing well with sweet talking to myself about my actual anxiety, but I am struggling to turn negative to positive with my kids and my parenting!!! grhhhhhh!!! thanx for listening, it's nice to have people to share with!!
taking it out on my kids HELP!
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tbabystroup
- Posts: 28
- Joined: Sun May 08, 2011 10:53 pm
- Location: Ashtabula, OH
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taking it out on my kids HELP!
~theresa~
**Beautiful pictures are developed from negatives in a dark room. so if you see darkness in your life, be reassured that a beautiful picture is being developed!!**
**Beautiful pictures are developed from negatives in a dark room. so if you see darkness in your life, be reassured that a beautiful picture is being developed!!**
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newjourney
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:02 pm
Re: taking it out on my kids HELP!
sorry to be so late in replying. i just joined the group again after a long time away.
i too am struggling with controlling my temper with my kids. i'd be interested to know if things improved for you as you progressed more and more into the program. i had heard that it is common for anxiety to flare when you begin the program... get worse before it gets better.
i really struggle with anger issues with the kids. i think it's due to the fact that i literally cannot control them... i have no sense of control.... and that's probably as it should be but it pushes buttons for people who suffer from anxiety. also, if i am having a bad day with them, i realize now that i start negative thinking, and that just fuels the fire.
also, i think because i am so anxious, about their safety... making sure they don't get hurt... etc. that i "over react" when they do things that are just probably normal kid behavior, but i am so afraid they'll get hurt, that i overreact and then that just fuels the fire also.
i'd love to hear from other parents about their perspective on how their anxiety affects their parenting.
i too am struggling with controlling my temper with my kids. i'd be interested to know if things improved for you as you progressed more and more into the program. i had heard that it is common for anxiety to flare when you begin the program... get worse before it gets better.
i really struggle with anger issues with the kids. i think it's due to the fact that i literally cannot control them... i have no sense of control.... and that's probably as it should be but it pushes buttons for people who suffer from anxiety. also, if i am having a bad day with them, i realize now that i start negative thinking, and that just fuels the fire.
also, i think because i am so anxious, about their safety... making sure they don't get hurt... etc. that i "over react" when they do things that are just probably normal kid behavior, but i am so afraid they'll get hurt, that i overreact and then that just fuels the fire also.
i'd love to hear from other parents about their perspective on how their anxiety affects their parenting.
Re: taking it out on my kids HELP!
I overreact too. I've always been an overreactor, though. It is a habit that you can break when you learn to adjust your expectations. It never hurts to go back to your kids afterwards and apologize and explain you didn't handle the situation well and that it's not their fault. No parent is perfect and we've all overreacted before.