I am also going through the same thing. I am impressed johnny 77 with how you are doing and how you handle it. I've been divorced for almost 6 years. My oldest who is 15 lives with his dad and my youngest who is 11 lives with me. I also now live in a different state, so visitation occurs only during summer and at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Unfortunately, my ex has done what he can to destroy my relationship with my oldest. Even though visitation is spelled out in the divorce decree, I haven't seen my oldest in 1 1/2 years. I could force the issue, but it would only bring more bitter resentment. I have let him know that I do want to see him when he wants to come and see me. I make sure my 11 yr. old goes to his dad's at all his visitation times and have even tried to give him a few exta visits since he loves his dad and I want to encourage that as Idon't want him to look back and say that I kept him from his dad and messed up his relationship with him. My 11 yr. old is currently at his dad's. I become depressed during this time and panic that I may never see him again. In the state of the divorce, a child can choose who he wants to live with when he is 12. That will be upon me soon. I have had to sit down and talk with him about it, because his dad is trying to get him to live with him and the issue can't be ignored. I have told him that due to the fact that his dad drives cross country and there is no adequate supervision (his grandmother lives next door, however she is in her upper 80's and has health concerns) that 12 is too young to make an informed decision and that I would let a judge make the ultimate decision. There are also other concerns with my oldest and the trouble he has gotten into, his poor school performance and his 30 plus days of missed school that I feel would be a bad influence on him.
I struggle while he is gone and miss him and my oldest and can only pray for the best. I have remarried and have 2 young children that keep me busy, so that has helped some.
My prayers go out to those of you in this situation.
seperation anxiety and deppression from children.
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