parent guilt

CautiousKat · Post by **CautiousKat** » Wed Jul 14, 2010 4:11 am

Just to add to what every jordanmommy posted, I also feel guilty on a daily basis because of anxiety/agoraphobia. I have basically raised my children with it. My kids are 23, 20, and 11. There were so many school field trips, etc. I could not bring myself to go on because of the dreaded anxiety. I would muster up the courage to go to the school parties and certain other little things, but the field trips were always something I couldn't do. I know my kids had to be disappointed. In the summer it is hard to take my youngest places that other mothers find routine like Walmart or any other big store. Would have loved to take her to the zoo or somewhere else fun like that, but even just the drive there would be hard. I can do these type places if my husband is with me though.

Also, I just lost my mother back in January. I watched her die over a period of 3 days. Her car did one of those "sudden acceleration" things where it kicked into full throttle and her breaks didn't work. She ended up breaking her neck and badly injury her arm. She survived for 2 months and then a massive infection killed her. I have suffered with anxiety/depression/agorophobia for many years, so this has really tested me.

Anyway, thanks for listening to me ramble. I'm feeling a huge void now that mom is gone. God bless all of you dealing with your own personal issues.

I guess the answer to jordanmommy would be this: If you care enough to question whether you are a good mother, then I say you are! The bad ones wouldn't think to ask. Just keep moving forward with small things like taking your daugher outside for some fresh air and playtime. If you push through it, you will find you will enjoy it more than you thought! Good luck!

Kathy

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Thu Jul 15, 2010 6:08 am

Thanks CautiousKat for sharing. I think there are ALOT of women and men who feel this way. I know I have battled with it because I have been so bad that I couldn't even take my kids to the park or library. But I know that I love them with all of my heart and they love me.

I agree with your statement too. If we are concerned, we care.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. I lost mine to cancer in 2002 and still miss her greatly.