Could I have passed this on to my child????

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 3:43 pm

Hi everyone, I'm new.....I've always known that I have a certain amount of anxiety, but recently I've noticed my 4 year old daughter showing symptoms of anxiety!! At 4! She could not even go on stage for her dance recital, and she has trouble in social gatherings as well. This is why I ordered the program. I want to know as much about this as possible to help her....At such a young age, how do you help them replace a negative thought and can they even comprehend what a negative or positive thought is?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 3:50 pm

Just to let you know, this behavior is normal for a child that age. I have anxiety and OCD and I am also worried about passing it on to my children. My girls have been in the spot light, sometimes they are shy and sometimes they shine.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 3:53 pm

yes, that's what I thought too, but I've spoken with her about it and how she feels, and she told me that she feels "all shaky inside"....

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:17 pm

wow how come some of the posts are so old i amglad there is some new people to talk to I have 3 y/o twins girls and of course they are in the stage where they mimic everything so they mimic me and i hear them say be careful don't fall and by one grace she has a big fear of falling which I do too because I fell down the concrete steps to our basement when I was 2 and I have always had a fear of falling I use to have a fear of drowning because I almost drown when I was 5. OMG I am going to make little fear filled children if I don't get a grip. My fear of falling kept me from being able to do backflips when I was a young girl taking gymnastics so I couldn't move on in it and i could have been good so how could my parents have helped me after these major incidents so I didn't get those fears. I fell when I was only 2 what could they have done?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sun Feb 24, 2008 5:26 am

Hi, I am new to the community. This in my first posting. I received the program cd's and dvd's last week, but have not yet started the program. I bought the program primarily because my 18 year old daughter is suffering horribly from anxiety, depression, and OCD. She was always such a happy child, until about a year ago. I have had problems with anxiety and depression off and on my entire adult life, but never to the extent that my daughter seems to be suffering. She can't even go out to eat without having a panic attack. She may not graduate from high school and has put her college dreams on hold (this from a child who always loved school). Any advice on where to begin? Should I start the program first, and then mentor her a little later? At this point, she can't even sit through a movie without having to go outside and pace and smoke cigarettes (she was a vegetarian and a real "health nut" until this anxiety hit, now she is drinking, smoking, etc). We are taking her back to her psychiatrist this week.

~*schnauzermom*~ · Post by **~*schnauzermom*~** » Mon May 26, 2008 4:32 pm

Interesting topic. I too wondered if my mother passed on her worrying to me. From as far as I could remember her favorite saying was "why me" or "if it ain't one thing it's another"
Although she was and still is such a safe person but she was very affraid to challenge herself or take a risk. I now as an adult and mother try my hardest to watch what I say around the children. I do feel that my self esteem is very low. I wish i'd taken more risks but now am scared to death. I worry constantly.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue May 27, 2008 4:18 pm

There is some medical evidence that suggests our susceptibility to, and subsequent coping strategy for anxiety and depression is in part genetic. However, a large portion our ability to cope with stress and anxiety is without question, learned. In short, we play with the hand we’re dealt with in life. We should never dwell on genetic predispositions, whether real or imagined, as we can only change what we can control. If we teach our children positive coping skills, they will draw on this rich source of wisdom when they need it most, provided we have led by example.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Sat May 31, 2008 12:05 pm

I was worried about this too, but I think the best thing I have done is to have cured myself and now I am teaching my kids how to counter their thoughts and think more objectively and less emotionally.

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jun 10, 2008 4:59 am

Originally posted by DEEPinside:
Very bummed this morning. I spoke with my mother about wanting a divorce, ordering the CD's and starting the program. I acknowledged that i have a problem with negative thinking, anxiety, depression and stress. After saying all that, she tells me "just think positive". Like it's so freakin' easy! ARRRRG! I get so mad when she says stuff like that. AND she doesn't even realize that she was the VERY first NEGATIVE influence in my life!!! I don't want to blame her for it, she was doind the best she could, trying to help me in life, but yet passing on many of her fears and reactions to situations. It really ticks me off when she can't even see how much of a negative influence she herself was! And now she has the nerve to say, "perk up" when I'm down, or "just think positive" when I'm dealing with an unhappy marriage? I feel like a failure. Like this program is NEVER going to help ME! Thanks to that reaction of hers I now feel like I don't even want to OPEN the package once it arrives!
How do you all cope with people giving you advice when they don't even realize themselves how negative they are? Or just people who know nothing about what WE go through each and everyday! I am really hopeless today...

DEEPinside - my mom was very much the same way and so was my father, and my aunts, uncles, brothers, etc. etc. I have learned that they did not have the opportunities to help themselves that we have. The programs and resources to help someone with this ugliness just wasn't as easily obtained in the past as it is now. With this, I am able to let them be who they are and have learned to not involve them with my troubles as they just don't know what to do for me. Also, my anxiety/panic came to me just this last April. With it I have learned why many of my family members have acted the way they do over the years. I have been very hurt and/or angry with some family members that I dearly love. Now I think I can understand that they have been suffering and just as I can't involve others in my life/troubles, they also could not involve themselves with me. This ugly anxiety/panic is a curse and a blessing. I hope my experience is helpful for you. I'm not trying to focus on me. I'm hoping that you can gain some insight from what I have learned. Good luck!
Eileen

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Wed Jun 11, 2008 10:59 am

I notice too that my oldest nephew has had similarities with me up until this day. There are many similarities actually. He is a lot like I was when I was a child. He is easily hurt and gets really angry when someone makes him feel or look stupid. He gets nervous a lot also. I just hope to get better so I can help him in the future. :u]

-Dustin