not sure i can handle another child with this anxiety and terrible obsessive thoughts

catdr71 · Post by **catdr71** » Wed Jan 16, 2008 5:26 am

Laura V,
Yes i do have concerns about the amount of effort that goes into taking care of a new baby. all i can remember from when my daughter was born was being so tired from no sleep and still having to push forward. this was difficult but managable. now i have anxiety pretty bad and probably some depression so some days i have to fight with myself just to ger out of bed. i always do but its not always easy. so i geuss my concern is that the way ive been feeling for over a year now will get in the way of me being a good parent. i know i'm a good mom to my daughter but do i have enough strength to be just as good with 2. anyway sorry to all of you for how this thread turned out. i dont hold anyone responsible, im a tough cookie and i didnt get offended by anything. i just have to say that i think that if the first response was said in more compassionate way noone would have thought it to be so awful. it wasnt what was said it was how it was said i think? anyway, thanx so much laura and everyone else who truely tried to help. please, no more fighting. its not making anyone feel any better and i kind of feel responsible for starting this thread. take care....cathy

**Its a New Day** · Post by **Its a New Day** » Wed Jan 16, 2008 1:39 pm

jazeppy,
Nowhere in my post did I say that I did not have an opinion, and I will not apologize for it. What I was trying to get across and obviously fell on deaf ears is that we ALL have opinions and should not be singling ANYONE out for them. I only ever post replies in this forum that have to do directly with the original questions and am sorry that I even got invoved in this, I just cannot believe how easy your opinion rolls out and with it finger pointing. My opinion is just that an opinion I was not trying to personally attack anyone, I was responding from my point of view as a mother, do not attack me. It should never have went any further than that with anyone. I wish you well!!

Chrystal

BTTRFLY · Post by **BTTRFLY** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:15 am

we ALL have opinions and should not be singling ANYONE out for them.

Unfortunately, your statement "Honestly in all of my time here that first person that advised you gave the WORST advice I have ever seen in relation to anything, and it is very obvious that they have no children." was clearly singling out Malikye and making assumptions about her (she is a very good mother and grandmother, btw).

As Jazeppy said, just own it. You said it, it is done, it is your opinion. That is all fine, but don't back peddle when someone calls you on it, that is what is so frustrating not just about this thread but in our little "banters" in general on here. Take responsibility for what you say, whether you feel you should apologize for it or not, don't waffle later on when someone calls you on the carpet about it!!

Jenbepositive · Post by **Jenbepositive** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 7:56 am

Wow, everyone keeps saying they are going to leave this alone and everyone keeps saying but I cant leave this out. Why are we all pointing out eachothers faults. No one is any better then the other here. I have to be honest when I read the first response the first thing that came to my mind was wow that was harsh. There are certain ways to state your opinion. That is what Catdr wanted was our opinion I just feel it could of been done in a different manner to get her point across. There is nothing wrong with her feeling that way because I am sure there is a reason in her life that she feels that way. We all know how it feels to read something and in the heat of the moment and say things we shouldnt say, or would have stated it differently.

Catdr I am a mother of 2 wonderful children. A 2 year old daughter and a 6 year old son. My anxiety started when I was pregnant with my daughter. It got real bad when she was about a year old. I couldnt leave my house or even take my children to the dr. Good thing I have such a wonderful mom. My husband works out of town so it has always been my responsobility to take care of our children when they are sick. For some reason I developed a phobia of going to the dr. I finally decided to start on medicine and I am doing so much better now. My anxiety of course affected my children but I took care of them the best way I could. That's all you can do that is all anyone can do. You will love your children no matter what and do what you can for them. This program is so wonderful also. I think you will make the best decision for you and your family. I have never heard of children being abused because there mother had anxiety. I know I would never abuse my children. A big part of my anxiety is worrying that something will happen to them. Good luck with everything.

Craw · Post by **Craw** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 1:01 pm

Yes, I very much understand when catdr said "it wasnt what was said it was how it was said". Still, I can't see being mean or delivering a threat as an appropriate response. I hope people don't expect me to act like that. I can't see knocking myself down a peg. I'm thinking of that saying "do unto others". No one here could honestly say they'd want to be treated the way Mailkye was.

I've been talking with Malikye in PM (i don't think she'd mind me saying that) and really, all you guys had to do was ask "why" and you'd know. She's just a truly nice lady who doesn't type very well.

Malikye · Post by **Malikye** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 3:52 pm

OH I FORGOT TO TELL EVERYONE

I DO HAVE CHILDREN

A DAUGHTER TO YOUR LEFT. AND A SON.

**Its a New Day** · Post by **Its a New Day** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 5:04 pm

Wow, what part of I never denied what I said do you people not understand??? I couldn't care less if you like what I say it is my right, just like you say things others dont agree with. You have twisted the point so much you are trying to make me a bad person for what I said, but I have to say my second post worked, I was just trying to make you stop attacking Dodger for exercising her right to free speech. I believe that when people post in here they are looking for different opinions in regards to their questions, not a single minded approach. Let's face it, what works for one does not work for all. I have NEVER had a problem in here before and I have been around for almost 3 years. I am less affected by your meanness than others so go right ahead and vent on me if you like, but once AGAIN I will implore you to look past the pettiness and support the original post. Thanks, and I am very happy that you are a good mom and grandma, I come from a different background than you so it seemed to me you probably had no children to make those statements, but now that the drama has progressed to such a point that I know some your background, which was never necessary, I see why you feel the way you do. I still do not have to agree but lets just let this go already. Thanks!!

Chrystal

Malikye · Post by **Malikye** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 6:49 pm

WHAT ARE YOU ANGRY ABOUT? DID I SAY I WAS A GOOD MOM? I DIDN'T. AND I WOULDN'T SAY THAT. I SAID I WOULD NEVER DELIBERTY GET PREGNANT IF I HAD ANXIETY.
TO THE FIRST POSTER; THIS CONVERSATION HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU ANYMORE. YOU ASKED FOR ADVICE. I DO TEND TO GIVE SHORT TO THE POINT ANSWERS.I DON'T KNOW YOU THEREFORE I DON'T KNOW HOW IT WOULD AFFECT YOU OR YOUR FAMILY. I WOULD NEED MUCH MORE IMFORMATION. IT IS GENERALLY NOT RECOMMENDED.............MALIKYE

Cher** · Post by Cher** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 9:33 pm

Hello everyone,
I am new to this program and this is my first visit to the Support Community. After reading all the conflict contained within the last few page of this topic I am left will deflated hopes of having a network of individuals to communicate with as we work on our programs.
The information packet made it sound a lot better than it really is.
I hope this kind of banter is not the norm and that hostility and aggression can be kept in check.
Isn't there enought adversity in life? Can't we be a bit more supportive in a "support group"?
Thanks

Stopping The Madness · Post by **Stopping The Madness** » Thu Jan 17, 2008 11:19 pm

I agree with you. I am new to this support group it took me alot of courage to even sign up. i am looking for friendly helpful people I can chat with about my problems and getting help. Vice versa. No criticism just answers:)