Malikye,
It is clear that you and I are very different in our approach and mannerisms. I will take the high road here and appologize for upsetting you however I think its best that we agree to dissagree and stay out of each others face.
I dont come to forum to argue and have conflict with anyone here and up till now that has not been an issue for me.
There are many many different types of people in this world and we all have different ways about us. Neither is wrong neither is right.
I am done with this thread. I choose to walk away from a toxic situation. Good luck to you in your recovery and I would hope this is our last contact with eachother.
Dodger
not sure i can handle another child with this anxiety and terrible obsessive thoughts
Dodger, why couldn't you just have apologized for saying, in the heat of the moment, you wanted to slap someone on here but didn't really mean it? It would have been so much easier than trying to create excuses for having said it. Now I can only gather that you really did mean it. I believe it violates the Terms of Service to threaten another member, regardless of their approach or mannerisms.
Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.
~John F. Kennedy
~John F. Kennedy
............MALIKYECatdr71-
I was just reading your post and everyone's responses. I noticed that you said you "not be able to do all the work that goes with taking care of them" If that's due to anxiety or depression or whatever I think you should not worry so much about your daughter being an only child and truly think what's best for YOU! It sounds like to me that although you love your daughter, motherhood just isn't your strongest point. Am I right? If I am right, there's nothing wrong with that and I know some people on this forum don't agree well, not everyone is maternal. Of course I have to be very careful because I came on this forum to ask for help and all I got was "what a horrible mother you are" and felt like I was nailed to the cross for having my opinions because not only am I raising my daughter from my first marriage who is 17 and has bad ADHD, but I have two stepsons that are younger and have Autism AND ADHD and they are quite the challenge. I was like you; when my daughter was 2 and a half, I was thinking about having another baby for her sake but my first husband and I were constantly into fights and after much thought I decided it was a bad idea to bring another child in this world if our marriage was falling apart and I'd most likely have to take care of both of them by myself and at the time I was in the military; constantly moving around with no family for support. So, I think I made the right decision. If you truly want another baby because it's right for YOU then go for it; if not, your daughter will survive as an only child just fine.
Good luck in YOUR decision and good luck with your anxiety and depression! Take care
I was just reading your post and everyone's responses. I noticed that you said you "not be able to do all the work that goes with taking care of them" If that's due to anxiety or depression or whatever I think you should not worry so much about your daughter being an only child and truly think what's best for YOU! It sounds like to me that although you love your daughter, motherhood just isn't your strongest point. Am I right? If I am right, there's nothing wrong with that and I know some people on this forum don't agree well, not everyone is maternal. Of course I have to be very careful because I came on this forum to ask for help and all I got was "what a horrible mother you are" and felt like I was nailed to the cross for having my opinions because not only am I raising my daughter from my first marriage who is 17 and has bad ADHD, but I have two stepsons that are younger and have Autism AND ADHD and they are quite the challenge. I was like you; when my daughter was 2 and a half, I was thinking about having another baby for her sake but my first husband and I were constantly into fights and after much thought I decided it was a bad idea to bring another child in this world if our marriage was falling apart and I'd most likely have to take care of both of them by myself and at the time I was in the military; constantly moving around with no family for support. So, I think I made the right decision. If you truly want another baby because it's right for YOU then go for it; if not, your daughter will survive as an only child just fine.
Good luck in YOUR decision and good luck with your anxiety and depression! Take care
-
**Its a New Day**
- Posts: 17
- Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2005 2:00 am
I was very reluctant to repost in this discussion, and I will not reply to anything that is posted regarding this, but I have to say that every person in here has the right to post what they think will help the originator of the discussion, hence the idea of a forum. I do not believe that Dodger was trying to cause a fight, just stating her strong feelings about a comment made. Furthermore, was it really worth all of the attention that has been given to it now?? You cannot tell me that as you have read this entire discussion that you have not had increased heart rate, and possibly a knot in your stomache while you type your angry replies. Is that helpful to the very anxiety that brought us all here??? I feel sorry for the person that wanted advice because she has had to watch what a wonderful group of people she has to lean on FIGHT. It is very sad that even numerous years after junior high is over some of us just keep the mindset that we can argue our point of view enough that we can change others opinions. Can we please just let this drop and try to help the person that asked for advice??
Chrystal
Chrystal
Last edited by **Its a New Day** on Wed Jan 16, 2008 2:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
It's A New Day....you are correct. People do have a right to their opinion. You had yours right? You said, " Honestly in all of my time here that first person that advised you gave the WORST advice I have ever seen in relation to anything, and it is very obvious that they have no children." You weren't too reluctant then, were you? Here's something to consider....OWN IT! When you jump people for their opinions and then stand back and judge others for getting angry...it's time to look at your own actions and realize you may have been the fire that sparked the flame!! Actually..that would have been Karilynn. Loves to ask for help and insult those whos help isn't beneficial to her. She has done this before. Not surprised AT ALL!
Spunkyladylee is about the only poster here who took responsibility for her actions and OWNED them. That is to be commended. Too bad you and Dodger couldn't have owned it too!
Spunkyladylee is about the only poster here who took responsibility for her actions and OWNED them. That is to be commended. Too bad you and Dodger couldn't have owned it too!
I agree with Jazeppy, nicely done, Spunky 
. An apology goes a long way, and trust me, I've had to give many of them not just on here but in my "other" life. I think sometimes this anxiety stuff makes us a little edgier and snappier than we would normally be, at least it does that to me. I pop off a lot easier than I used to. At any rate, I hope Catdr does not shy away from asking for advice again, because this thread went wacky. It certainly wasn't her doing, it was ours.
. An apology goes a long way, and trust me, I've had to give many of them not just on here but in my "other" life. I think sometimes this anxiety stuff makes us a little edgier and snappier than we would normally be, at least it does that to me. I pop off a lot easier than I used to. At any rate, I hope Catdr does not shy away from asking for advice again, because this thread went wacky. It certainly wasn't her doing, it was ours."If nothing ever changed...there would be no Butterflies." Author unknown
Laura V,
Yes i do have concerns about the amount of effort that goes into taking care of a new baby. all i can remember from when my daughter was born was being so tired from no sleep and still having to push forward. this was difficult but managable. now i have anxiety pretty bad and probably some depression so some days i have to fight with myself just to ger out of bed. i always do but its not always easy. so i geuss my concern is that the way ive been feeling for over a year now will get in the way of me being a good parent. i know i'm a good mom to my daughter but do i have enough strength to be just as good with 2. anyway sorry to all of you for how this thread turned out. i dont hold anyone responsible, im a tough cookie and i didnt get offended by anything. i just have to say that i think that if the first response was said in more compassionate way noone would have thought it to be so awful. it wasnt what was said it was how it was said i think? anyway, thanx so much laura and everyone else who truely tried to help. please, no more fighting. its not making anyone feel any better and i kind of feel responsible for starting this thread. take care....cathy
Yes i do have concerns about the amount of effort that goes into taking care of a new baby. all i can remember from when my daughter was born was being so tired from no sleep and still having to push forward. this was difficult but managable. now i have anxiety pretty bad and probably some depression so some days i have to fight with myself just to ger out of bed. i always do but its not always easy. so i geuss my concern is that the way ive been feeling for over a year now will get in the way of me being a good parent. i know i'm a good mom to my daughter but do i have enough strength to be just as good with 2. anyway sorry to all of you for how this thread turned out. i dont hold anyone responsible, im a tough cookie and i didnt get offended by anything. i just have to say that i think that if the first response was said in more compassionate way noone would have thought it to be so awful. it wasnt what was said it was how it was said i think? anyway, thanx so much laura and everyone else who truely tried to help. please, no more fighting. its not making anyone feel any better and i kind of feel responsible for starting this thread. take care....cathy